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I'm stuck!! wedding cost issues

[Deleted User][Deleted User]
in Rhode Island
my daughter is getting married out of state at the groom's mother's home.  we will have a very limited number of guests (15-20), while the groom's famliy will have by far more guests (80).  how do i approach the groom's family on cost issues???
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Re: I'm stuck!! wedding cost issues

  • 526SadieSadie526SadieSadie
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    How did it come about that you have so few guests from your side?  Does your future son in law just have a much bigger family?  They should not expect you solely to pay for a guest list that you apparently have had so little input on. 
    What does your daughter say?  A friend of mine is marrying into a really wealthy family that is very well known in our state and his family basically took over the whole wedding.  Check in with your daughter to see if she's upset about the guest list, and then help her find the words, and perhaps backbone, to tell her future mother in law that she wants more of her own family there.  If this is a case of a controlling MIL, she better nip it in the bud now!

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  • wendyk33wendyk33 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That is a really hard situation. If you mention something it might cause world war three. I would see if your daughter can mention something to her fiance. It might be better if it the issue is brought up by him to his parents. I cant believe his family isnt offereing to help at all though. I am in a similar situation with my fiances family is huge compared to mine but my parents are footing the bill. My parents have the money so they are just paying so it doesnt cause problems.
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  • jlsimon56jlsimon56
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's tough.  That is a big difference.  Is that all family? 

    We cut it off at first cousins.  So, no 2nd cousins were invited at all.  My family ended up representing about 60% while his family was around 40%.  We didn't mind.  It's not my fault that I have a big family.  :-)  We also didn't invite random people to "fill out" his side.  We only invited who we wanted there. 

    If you are paying for your daughter's entire wedding, and she knows how much money you're giving, then she should be able to figure out her budget.  If she is unable to work it out so that all those people can come, then cut down the guest list.  I don't think it's fair to exclude just his family.  Money is such a touchy subject.
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  • ayleeaylee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with wendyk.  Ask your daughter if she could mention something to her fiance and her fiance can talk to his parents.
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