Scared of being in the spotlight

Gina8484 · September 2012

My wedding is in 2 weeks. I am having so much anxiety about it. Not about the fact that I'm getting married but about being the center of attention and about everyone judging all my the things I've worked so hard planning. Ever since the bridal shower I've been super stressed. I have pretty bad social anxiety and this is really stressful for me to be put in the center of attention so much. I have horrible public speaking fear so bad that while I was In school I would fail projects in order to avoid presenting them... So to have to face that fear after a few years of not really having to face them/think about them since no public speaking has come up in years I am a wreck now. Losing my appetite and having horrible anxiety, can't sleep.. Etc etc. luckily it's a small wedding. Only about 75 people. So that's one plus..... Any suggestions to ease the anxiety? Anyone else experience this?

StephBeanWed61502 · September 2012

See your doctor and get a referral to a mental health professional ASAP. A mental health professional will be able to evaluate your condition most accurately to determine if medication is required or not, and should be able to help you with coping strategies as well. Your issue really sounds severe to me and I am just not comfortable with giving you the standard "focus on your groom, and maybe have a glass of wine before the ceremony" advice.

Gina8484 · September 2012

Ah well, I currently have no health insurance so that's not really an option. The center of attention fear is pretty bad but it's normally not too much of an issue in my adult life.. I'm not like agoraphobic or anything, haha! It's just the first time in years I've had to get up in front of a crowd so I'm super anxious.

achiduck · September 2012

I live in Canada so I'm not sure how relevant my advice is but we have free counselling services and mental health centers where people needing assistance can go (or call) to talk to someone about any issues their having.

FWIW, counselling and therapy aren't covered by our provincial heath plans so in order to have it covered we have to have benefits through our places of employment or seek out a free (or discounted) service. Perhaps it's something worth looking into.

If it makes you feel any better, I've been to a A LOT of weddings, some very opulent but most not and I never judged the decorations, etc. Everyone knows they're their to celebrate you and your FI not to nitpick about your centerpieces.

ChristineNB · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_scared-of-being-in-the-spotlight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ef555018-56e9-4114-b84d-07f1e0929282Post:ed8d3571-7302-4a96-88f7-5899a19f9eb0">Re:Scared of being in the spotlight</a>:
[QUOTE]Ah well, I currently have no health insurance so that's not really an option. The center of attention fear is pretty bad but it's normally not too much of an issue in my adult life.. I'm not like agoraphobic or anything, haha! It's just the first time in years I've had to get up in front of a crowd so I'm super anxious.
Posted by Gina8484[/QUOTE]
See if your city or county of residence has a Mental Health Services Board. Many do, and these organizations provide mental health services for free or reduced rates. If they were to recommend medication, they can even help you get medication for free or reduced rates.

MrsGandthebeag · September 2012

I agree with the ladies that it sounds like counseling could benefit you. That being said, try to reframe your anxious thoughts with positive ones. "OMG everyone is looking at me!" with "DH and I look stunning." "OMG what if they hate my centerpieces?!" with "I spent hours on the centerpieces and they look fantastic." Take deep breaths and try to relax. Your day will be great because you are marrying the man of your dreams.

angelsong21 · September 2012

I agree with pp on seeing a mental health professional. That being said, I will tell you that I also have bad social anxiety and I'm an excessive worrier and I was very worried about things similar to those you are worried about. I will tell you for me personally, there was so much going on so quicky that I had no time to worry. When my H and I were up on the stage during the ceremony, we were completely focused on each other and listening for when we were supposed to do this or that. As we went into our reception and began greeting our guests, we were met with affirmations about how beautiful it was etc etc, so right off the bat there, my fears were subsiding.

I can't tell you what will work for you or what won't, but for me, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was predicting it would be in my mind. Best of luck to you!

Gina8484 · September 2012

In Response to Re:Scared of being in the spotlight:[QUOTE]I agree with pp on seeing a mental health professional. nbsp;That being said, I will tell you that I also have bad social anxiety and I'm an excessive worrier and I was very worried about things similar to those you are worried about. nbsp;I will tell you for me personally, there was so much going on so quicky that I had no time to worry. nbsp;When my H and I were up on the stage during the ceremony, we were completely focused on each other and listening for when we were supposed to do this or that. nbsp;As we went into our reception and began greeting our guests, we were met with affirmations about how beautiful it was etc etc, so right off the bat there, my fears were subsiding.I can't tell you what will work for you or what won't, but for me, it wasn't nearly as bad as I was predicting it would be in my mind. nbsp;Best of luck to you! Posted by angelsong21[/QUOTE]

Thanks for your response. It was actually helpful. I think it will be a lot better than I think it's going to be. Just making myself overly nervous.

Sassenach1743 · September 2012

I think you are psyching yourself out. While I understand the stress of all the plans and preparations, etc. I think once everything begins all those fears and worries will subside. And, like AngelSong21 said, you probably won't have time to worry as the inertia of the day will carry you through faster then you realize.

As far as social anxiety... Just remember, you will be surrounded by your family and friends, who love you and are there to celebrate with you. Plus you'll have your H by your side the whole time.

I don't want to seem like I'm down playing your stress/ anxiety, because I'm not. But I'm hoping you will try to relax a bit (without medication) so that you do not miss out on the enjoyment of your wedding (which you've put so much energy into).

Lot of Luck & Hugs!!!

Kristin789 · October 2012

Schedule a meeting with your FI and your officiant. You need to get re-centered on what is supposed to be the center of attention: the marriage ceremony. Not you.

ChristineNB · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_scared-of-being-in-the-spotlight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:ef555018-56e9-4114-b84d-07f1e0929282Post:a23e68d3-f40d-4c57-8cef-d8f9dc6dc78f">Re: Scared of being in the spotlight</a>:
[QUOTE]Schedule a meeting with your FI and your officiant. You need to get re-centered on what is supposed to be the center of attention: the marriage ceremony. Not you.
Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]
Wow. Are you just trying to be mean? The OP is suffering from severe anxiety, and you think she is being selfish?!? The OP needs her FI, family, and officiants support to get through this, but she is not being selfish. Clearly Kristin you or no one close to you have ever dealt with anxiety or mental health issues or else you would know how to have some tact in this area.

Scared of being in the spotlight

Re: Scared of being in the spotlight

Choose Another Board

Search Boards