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Just Venting

stephanieporrittstephanieporritt
in Snarky Brides

My fiance just got a message on facebook from a "friend" who is really upset that we are having only family at our ceremony.. she went on and on about how good a friend he is to her and how he is like a brother even though they haven't really talked recently or seen each other in months and how she is going to come to the reception to "support us" even though she is really hurt... why if you are "such a good friend" would you not understand that we have a small venue and will only be having family at our wedding ceremony? why do you think you should be invited when not one of our other friends are invited? So irritated that someone who claims to be a good friend would say something like that and try to make us feel bad that we can't include everyone in our wedding ceremony.. its not like we don't want everyone we know there.. its just not feasible.. grrrrr. I hate selfish people!!!! Our wedding is not about you!!!!!

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Re: Just Venting

  • JessAndTravJessAndTrav member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    I would just ignore her and the comments. You and your FI worry about you and your FI.
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  • michellepremichellepre member
    First Comment
    We are also having a private ceremony (family only) and we've been getting push back as well.  To me, a wedding ceremony is something that is very intimate, not something to be said in front of my in laws & parents closest 200 friends...
    Just wanted you to know, you aren't alone......
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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment

    I think I'm just confused on what's going on here.

    OP, if you're having a small ceremony, and the same people from that small ceremony are then going to a small reception, but FI's friend has her panties in a twist about that... too bad.  It's your choice to have a small wedding and she just has to get over it.

    If you're having a small ceremony then a reception for a bunch of people, then I can understand FI's friend's issue.  My feelings would be hurt if I was invited to reception only (though I'd get over it real quick with an open bar and some good food).

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  • marykay85marykay85 member
    First Comment
    It really depends on the situation. I will get married in my Catholic church which can only accomodate family and a few very close friends. Also, it's an hour and a half away from my hometown/ reception location.  I'm not choosing a venue that's too small, I don't have a choice. So I understand that some brides have to deal with the venue size.

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  • felicia220felicia220 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-venting-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e5da974d-3fdd-4981-8902-4d6976f473eaPost:8de58b7f-a3b4-4e3f-a984-d06f5eabb1c6">Re: Just Venting</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Just Venting : I don't agree at all!  What about people who elope with just one or two witnesses and then come back and throw a party?  I think that is perfectly fine. Some venues are too small to fit the entire guest list.  Also, I find the ceremony boring (especially if they are catholic and drag on...no offense, I'm just not religious and to sit in a church for an hour kills) As a guest to a wedding, I would have no problem being invited only to the reception. I, for one, am having a very short civil service and really don't feel that everyone needs to be there to see it. She may see herself as less than a "friend" and more as family (like sister).   It's her perception but she is hurt by it. Therefore, I don't think she is being selfish. I guess she thought she was closer to the FI and is now upset that she's at the same level as the other "friends".    She has a right to be upset, but if she really cares for the FI she will get over it.
    Posted by melissadefelice[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah it is also pretty bad to elope and then come back and have a party, what? for the gifts.  The whole point of a wedding is the actually WEDDING!  And not everyone finds it boring, obviously this "friend" doesn't so she has the right to be a little upset.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I can't even comment on the other posts because most of them don't even make sense to me.</div>
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  • xoxobxoxob member
    First Comment

    I know so many people who have a small ceremony because of the church they get married in and then have a large reception. I think it's totally ok.

    I also know people who get invited to both and then don't show to the ceremony and only go to the reception.

    I can understand why she is hurt, but I don't think you're doing anything wrong by having a small ceremony and large reception.

    Some people would say it's for the gifts, but if you're putting the money out for a good meal, some free booze and some dancing, then they should just shut up and enjoy the fun.

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  • AliciaW26AliciaW26
    First Comment
    I understand your pain...I have a co-worker who keeps saying shes showing up at my wedding, although only family is invited...shes clinging to the fact that it's rude to not invite EVERYONE that you KNOW to come party...REALLY? There are budgets in my world that don't involve aquaintances that I really don't tolerate in my out of work life...If its personal to you then your 'FRIEND' should feel it personal to you...just ignore her and don't feel bad for not involving her to your small venue that your paying for.
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