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Yall Help Me Explain To FI..

shano06shano06
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in African American Weddings

Our wedding convo today was about a DoC. I have found a couple professionals that I like, but we also have FI's best woman(twin sister) and a family friend who is a part time event planner. FI is stuck on his twin being the DoC. He thinks she is the closest to his style and is good with this kind of thing. I tried to explain to him that I don't want a member of the bridal party doing DoC duties because she is gonna probably kill herself with all the responsibility. He doesn't uunderstand. He's like I can help her. NO SIR. Yall need to be getting ready. He's like bae ima man, it's gonna take ten minutes to get dressed. I can set up and then get dressed. I'm like you have to come to the venue dressed there's nowhere for you to get ready. So he says I can get dressed in the car. EXCUSE ME SIR WHAT THE WHAT.?! I want pics of yall getting ready. You gonna have your pics be in the truck. Sit down somehwere. Lol. I'm leaning towards the family friend because I have seen her work and heard her ideas and I love them. FI really wants me to explain to him the duties of a DoC and why him and his twin can't do it. My only argument is what I've said above. What else can I say to help him understand.?? He is slowly turning into a groomzilla. It was the red cummerbunds first. Now this. Lol.

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Re: Yall Help Me Explain To FI..

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    keyaira04keyaira04 member
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    edited September 2012
    A few points I can thin of I would say:

    How can your be DOC and in the wedding party when there may be pictures right before?
    It would hard to be in the BP and DOC when you need to walk down the aisle as a BM. 
    The BP is suppose to enjoy the wedding as well. DOC are mostly working it...cuz we (usually) pay them :)
    How can a DOC in the WB take care of an emergency when she is at the alter (has happened a few times, Ive seen it).
    Yes, he is your superman, but he will not be doing last minute things. There are pics to take, rings to give to the Best Man, and lets face it, some men get really nervous before that walk in. Hell, I am going to crazy nervous, so why leave that up to me in that moment when we pay a DOC to have a level-minded head. Last thing on this mind will is all the decor set up at the venue at that point. 
    Lastly, its a professional business doing DOC work. You, him, or her will be upset if there is too much on her plate trying to juggle both roles and the wedding is not the product she usually produces. Seems like a lot of pressure on his twin. 


    Question: Have you asked her what she would prefer doing?
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    island07b2bisland07b2b member
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    You said it right.  First and foremost the Groom doesn't do DOC duties.  That is a big NO and crazy. The Bride and Groom are the superstars of the wedding.  They do no work.    LOL! Secondly, having family participate in the wedding and work the wedding is not a good idea at all.  It will be very stressful for his twin sister and she won't enjoy the wedding at all that way. As she is his best woman her sole responsibility that day is to support him.  She can't do that if she has to also watch over the wedding.  Let the friend of the family handle the DOC duties. She has the experience to handle the day and you love her work.  Tell him he needs to keep you happy lest he bring out your inner bridezilla.  :)



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    SyAmayaSyAmaya
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    Lol, bless him for wanting to help! My DoC is a person who is close to us but not in the wedding party. There absolutely has to be someone available to answer vendor questions and concerns at all times.  Two people that are part of the ceremony cannot be available 24/7 for the emergencies that we all know come up last minute and during the ceremony. My DoC is also letting people know when to go and in what order during the processional, she's basically at the venue making sure everything is done exactly as planned. She's dealing with deliveries, she's dealing with set up, she's making all the last minute decisions for me... IDK if you FI is anything like mine but he doesn't want that kind of responsibility over his head! To be honest I'm glad I don't have to do it... and it really is supposed to be my responsibility!
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    M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    Sigh I am no help when it comes to this. I just book stuff and bring it to FI

    Honestly you can be the DOC or in the BP but not both.
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    Dannitra01Dannitra01 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited September 2012
    I find that most grooms--my own included--have NO FREAKING IDEA of what goes into pulling off a wedding. I think you need to remind him this is going to be a very hectic/emotional day for the both of you. Why stress yourselves even more by trying wear two hats??? Remind him that as the DOC, his sisters' duties will not begin on the day of the wedding and they are far from over when you two say "I Do". Print out the list in this link and show it to him. Then see if he and his sis will still be gung ho about her pulling double duty.
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