Question for those of you who are having cash bars

Goldlie11 · April 2010

I'm not having a cash bar. I know a lot of people here are having them. So, do you let people know in advance? If so how? Are there ATMs at venues who offer the cash bars?

Seriously, I'm just curious. I'm not trying to discuss whether a cash bar is okay or not. I just want to know the protocol.

mewebster59 · April 2010

You normally bring cash. I have seen it listed on the invitation that there will be a cash bar available for the guests if they choose to drink. I've been to several cash bars, but I haven't ever seen the couple set up a ATM... In a hotel you can start a tab... I don't carry cash either (or my purse to weddding generally) so it is just a pain...

Minimax052910 · April 2010

From where I'm from, it's not uncommon to have cash bars. It's better than none at all. People would rather buy and drink than have nonalcoholic drinks. I don't understand why people think it's "rude" to have cash bar...alcohol isn't a requiement for reception. Giving option is better than none at all. Anyhoo..

I, personally, am not having a cash bar. We're having open bar, thanks to my parents.

But really, most guys carry cash with them anyways. I always carry a stash of cash in my car in case for some odd reason I get distracted on the road and end up in the middle of nowhere and I need cash!

psichick · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:ff5c5244-7e8a-46b1-bdbf-1232b8f2bd0e">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]. But really, most guys carry cash with them anyways.
Posted by Minimax052910[/QUOTE]

way to generalize. my fi NEVER has cash on him. i usually have a little bit. where we live cash is just not necessary to have. 99% of places take cards, and we pay for just about everything on our debit cards. so why have cash?

i would never even think to bring cash with me to a wedding.

quotequeen · April 2010

I have heard of people writing "cash bar" in small print at the bottom corner of the invitation.

Minimax052910 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:7ff63182-e538-40e7-bb90-632ad5001da8">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars? : way to generalize. my fi NEVER has cash on him. i usually have a little bit. where we live cash is just not necessary to have. 99% of places take cards, and we pay for just about everything on our debit cards. so why have cash? i would never even think to bring cash with me to a wedding.
Posted by psichick[/QUOTE]

I said "most" not "all".

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar, but I have been to professional events and office things where they did. They normally put something about the cash bar in with the invitation or on the email.

I figure if you're rude enough to have a cash bar, you just write it on the invitation. It would be pretty hypocritical to be concerned with the etiquette of the invitation.

duckie1905 · April 2010

I cannot remember the last time I had more than 2 or 3 dollars in my wallet. I just don't need cash. Everywhere I go takes debit and credit. I don't need emergency cash because I have a emergency credit card. Even the tow truck driver took my card (right there in the truck) when I broke down on the side of the road.

With that being said, I also don't bring much cash to weddings (outside of money for tipping) because cash bars are so unheard of in my social circle.

If there was a cash bar I'd like to be informed ahead of time so I can either get cash or bring liquor to get wasted in the parking lot (just kidding). But seriously, I'm thinking word of mouth is the best way to go. If cash bars are uncommon I'd be willing to be that many guests would not be planning for it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:43836609-24a6-40ae-89a5-4802f6172d5f">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars? : Nah, I'm in a good mood. I'm not trying to start up anything, just curious. I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar. It would never occur to me to bring cash to a wedding so that I can buy drinks. So, I was just wondering if there is a way that people who are having cash bars communicate this to their guests.
Posted by Goldlie11[/QUOTE]

See, that partial cash bar I went to was for FI's cousin who lives in Iowa. I've never seen one done in my family, but I have seen beer/wine/signature drink. My guess is that people who have NEVER been to a wedding with a cash bar rarely think, "Oh hey! I'll just have a cash bar. Seems like a totally fine idea." For the most part, all the weddings, if not, like, half the weddings they go to probably have them, so their family and friends pretty much expect them.

As far as tipping goes, I DO like to tip the bartender, but IMO, with an open bar, that's also the responsibility of the host. I personally will be giving the bartender and valet (as well as the servers, etc) a generous tip at the end of the night when I get married. I wouldn't tip a server at a wedding, so with an open bar, I don't necessarily think tipping the bartender is needed.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

I don't carry cash, and neither does FI. (He works in some rough parts of town, where carrying cash would be a very very bad idea.) We do keep an emergency $20 in the car, but I sure as hell wouldn't be spending that on booze at a wedding. Honestly, if confronted with a cash bar at a wedding, we'd probably just bow out early.

AshleyNC2010 · April 2010

When people have cash bars it is probably what is the norm in that area and in that circle. So theres no need to announce it.

PharmacyBride · April 2010

I thought the same thing during the movie Wedding Crashers when the guys said 2 of the weddings were cash bars. How did they know?

I think it would mostly be an issue where cash bars never happen. I would hope an ATM would be around! Otherwise- if you are in an area where cash bars sometimes or always happen- I would just plan for it and hope for an open bar.

ndnikki06 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:54c0ab21-d334-4f62-8410-0d6ec8f03605">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't carry cash, and neither does FI. (He works in some rough parts of town, where carrying cash would be a very very bad idea.) We do keep an emergency $20 in the car, but I sure as hell wouldn't be spending that on booze at a wedding. Honestly, if confronted with a cash bar at a wedding, we'd probably just bow out early.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

You would leave a wedding just because your shots aren't free? Would you also leave if you found out you were at a dry reception? I don't get why you would leave early just because of that?

Some places you can pay with a credit card at the cash bar. It's just called a cash bar to let people know that the drinks are not on the couple.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

I don't do shots. But I feel uncomfortable being hit up for money, and that's what a cash bar is. I've been to dry weddings, and there's no need to leave early because they usually don't last that long.

When we hang out and relax, like at a party, we expect to have a drink or two. It's just basic hospitality. I've done a bit of sociological research into the connection between alcohol and weddings, and the idea of a "dry wedding" or a wedding where the guests have to pay for anything themselves is a very, very recent development. The idea of the hosts of a wedding providing beverages, usually alcoholic, for their guests goes back centuries and is found in pretty much every culture that has existed.

Jake&Tiff · April 2010

I think it dpends on what part of the country you are from what the protocol is. Personally I'm having a dry reception because my reception is on a college campus but in my region an open bar is unheard of I always bring money for parking, drinks or anything else that may come up. If it is uncommon in your region then you probably shouldn't have a cash bar but if you did I would just pass the news by word of mouth.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

Look, I prefer drinking Coke products. If I go to someone's house and all they have is Pepsi, that's what I'll drink. If I go and they say, "Well, the Pepsi's free, but if you want Coke, you have to pay for it," I'll still drink the Pepsi, but I'll be irritated about it.

I can't afford full open bar for my wedding. We're going to have beer, wine, and soda, and I might be able to include a signature drink. Only offer what you can afford. It's not. That. Difficult.

keziah23 · April 2010

We're doing something in between. Our venue offers drink tickets. Each guest get two. Good for any drink at the bar (no limits). There are some that don't drink and they can give their tickets to those who want more than 2 drinks. Our reception is also at 1pm, so don't expect a lot of heavy drinking which is why we didn't go with a regular open bar. We didnt put anything about the bar on the invite.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:f337f32f-da60-47d6-82af-7d3742a7c7a1">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars? : The cash bar part is optional though. You aren't being FORCED to spend money, so I don't know why you feel uncomfortable. In my case I will have a signature drink, beer, pop, and lemonade. I didn't want anyone to not be able to purchase something they really wanted though. Even though I can't afford an open bar why should I stop someone from spending money on something they want? Hopefully most will like what I am providing so they won't need to spend money! I don't know why it is considered rude? In my opinion it's worse to not give options. Why MAKE someone drink something they don't like?
Posted by ndnikki06[/QUOTE]

<div>Would you offer chicken and tell your guests they could pay for steak? </div><div>
</div><div>It's disgustingly rude to ask your guests to pay for the parts of your wedding that you cannot afford. If you can't afford booze, just don't have it. </div><div>
</div><div>There's nothing wrong with a dry wedding. But if you asked me to pay, I'd leave. Not because I mind paying, but because you obviously don't want me there if you would treat me that rudely. </div><div>
</div><div>I may have thought you were my good friend at first, but if I show up and you start asking me for money, I'm going to realize that you only see me as a means to a gift. </div>

duckie1905 · April 2010

Wow, drink tickets. Like a carnival. Awesome.

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

If some one is really going to go ahead with a cash bar, why the heck would you think they would care about what they mention on the invites?

What is this? Some things are ok to ignore etiquette about but not others?

Goldlie11 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:5df00213-8bb8-466d-b483-2305818cd787">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]If some one is really going to go ahead with a cash bar, why the heck would you think they would care about what they mention on the invites?<div> What is this? Some things are ok to ignore etiquette about but not others?
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

</div><div>
</div><div>Like I said, I'm not having a cash bar. Honestly, I do think having one shows poor manners. I was wondering if those who do choose to do so (and there many here on TK) put in on the invites, wedding website, or just use word of mouth. </div><div>
</div><div>I also don't think it's okay to ignore etiquette at all. To the best of my knowledge, I haven't done anything to breech etiquette and I hope I never will. </div>

LoveWins88 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_question-those-of-having-cash-bars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:f9e7413d-6f28-4ef3-871e-45076d611b6aPost:9db7ac95-3349-49df-a469-49f9ef8f51dc">Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't do shots. But I feel uncomfortable being hit up for money, and that's what a cash bar is. I've been to dry weddings, and there's no need to leave early because they usually don't last that long. When we hang out and relax, like at a party, we expect to have a drink or two. It's just basic hospitality. <strong>I've done a bit of sociological research into the connection between alcohol and weddings, and the idea of a "dry wedding" or a wedding where the guests have to pay for anything themselves is a very, very recent development.</strong> The idea of the hosts of a wedding providing beverages, usually alcoholic, for their guests goes back centuries and is found in pretty much every culture that has existed.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

I think you might need to broaden your sample size, then. The majority of people do drink at weddings, but you shouldn't make blanket statements.
Dry weddings are <u>not </u>a new idea in some parts of the country. They are the norm and have been the norm for a long time (centuries even). It depends on the community. Some folks do not drink, serve alcohol to guests, or consider it a necessary part of hospitality. With these people, weddings are no exception.
If we had a bar at our wedding, or served alcohol to 95% of our guests if any of them dropped by the house, people would be shocked. And, yes, FI do drink.

Just food for thought. I'm not trying to be snappy.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

On the contrary, your sample size is too narrow. I'm talking CENTURIES here. Millenia. The idea of dry weddings goes back a few generations at most and is almost entirely an American idea, whereas alcohol has been tied to periods of transition in general and weddings in particular pretty much since humanity figured out the whole fermentation thing, in every culture with recorded history. As I said in my previous post.

Here's pretty much the seminal article on the significance of alcohol and drinking in culture: http://www.sirc.org/publik/drinking6.html

kellyh1982 · April 2010

Cash Bars - well, I guess they are called "Limited Bars" ?? - are the norm in Wisconsin where I grew up and where my wedding is. We are serving beer, soda, milk and coffee (with dinner) and there will be a full bar set up so if people want something that is not one of those choices, they can purchase it. In my entire life I've only been to one wedding that was an open bar, and not this format. I was shocked when I went to the wedding with the open bar because I expect it to be the limited bar - or whatever it's called. I never carry cash, but I would make sure I had some if I went to a wedding. I, personally, am also allergic to beer, so I appreciate the fact that when I go to a wedding like this - if I want to have an alcoholic drink, I can choose to purchase one or not. For those of you who say you're appalled at this idea, that's fine to have your opinion and your reasons, but on the other side where I am - if someone only has beer, and a signature drink, or some various combination, and I can't drink any of them and they don't have any other choices that i can purchase, is that fair to me? Not that their wedding needs to be fair to me - because I can drink water or soda all night long and be happy - but I'm just trying to play devil's advocate, I guess.

My family would have never expected me to have a full open bar...and now to answer the original question

since it's the "norm" where I'm from, it's not mentioned on the invitations at all. It's just expected. When they get to the reception and go up to the bar to get a drink they will be told that their beer is free if they order a beer, or if they ask, they will be told that beer and soda are free and what kinds are available. it won't be hidden, but it also won't be promoted if that makes sense. And I don't know that I've ever seen it promoted either.

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

My point with the research was simply that alcohol has been part of weddings as long as there have been weddings. So I find statements to the fact of, "Oh, alcohol is completely unnecessary and there must be something wrong with someone who needs it to celebrate" quite ridiculous. Humans have celebrated with alcohol since we figured out how to make it.

babyhunbun7 · April 2010

i think the drink ticket idea is even worse then a cash bar! they are both just cheap! i mean cut back somewhere else and pay for the food AND beverages! i think that it would be better to cut out things like favors and maybe have a little less flowers on the tables then cut out paying for drinks. no one will remember what your flowers looked like or what the favors where but they will remember forking over a bunch of twenties all night, drinks are not cheap at most wedding venues!

antimony · April 2010

If they're common in your family/social circle, you bring cash to weddings. I've never seen an ATM at a cash bar wedding -- they've always been in places where there wouldn't be any nearby.

APROCTOR86 · April 2010

We are doing a Cash Bar but its not called that. Its just not an Open bar.(I live in So Cal so im assuming it’s a norm out here)

Why should we have to drop a ton of money for an "open bar" for people to get drunk when we don't drink? We didn’t feel that we should have a “dry reception” either since its nice for other guest that might want to have a drink to have options available to them. My parents set up an amount with the bartender @ my older sisters wedding and once that limit was reached people had to pay for their own drinks. We are already paying a service charge with the venue to pay for the bartender (if no one buys drinks that total up to that amount). So whatever comes first, $300 worth of drinks for the night from guest or if no one drinks at all the bartender still gets paid for the night working.

Outside of the door at our reception site there are 2 ATMs. The site markets them as being there for the couples "Money Dance". But hey i know that i appreciate it when there is am ATM around.

Question for those of you who are having cash bars

Re: Question for those of you who are having cash bars

Choose Another Board

Search Boards