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September 2010 Weddings

Everything is a surprise!

First of all.....I am not trying to complain.... I am so grateful for everything that everyone is doing for me....

But i literally do not know anything about the following:
( I know i am having them, but thats it)

1) bridal shower
2) bachelorette party
3) honeymoon
4) and now the rehearsal dinner! I just found out that its all being planned and its a suprise (?? this one is a little strange to me)


I have been trying so hard to get people to give me some hints, its driving me crazy! I want to know! Anyone else having some surprises?
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Re: Everything is a surprise!

  • Nothing is a surprise for me, thank God, because everyone knows how I am. I don't handle them well. Like, at all. So my mother, sister (MOH) and cousin have been keeping me in the loop on pretty much everything.

    The RD being a surprise is weird. My first question was how will all the people on your side know, but guess you just have to assume the planners have it under control and won't forget anyone. That would drive me crazy!
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  • Ahh, I can feel your frustration. I am not good with surprises. I get too anxious. I am too much of a control freak. I admit this. I need to learn to relax.

    But just look at it this way: you don't  have to worry or even think about any of those things! Just accept that as a gift and go with it! I'm sure it will all be great!
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  • I'd threaten to leave FI if all that stuff was a surprise.  Hopefully it would work and people would tell me what was up.  I hate surprises with a passion. 

    And how on earth can the rehearsal be a surprise???  I'd start planning one myself if no one told me anything about it.  That's not cool at all. 
  • liadee, thats exactly the way i am trying to look at it! Its hard because i am the same way as you and rien! I am usually not a fan of surprises and i feel very anxious!

    Apparently, i will find out when i get the invite for the RD. Its weird, i know! So at least i dont have to wait all that time to find out that one!
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  • Everyone knows how I am, so there are no surprises for me except for the first dance song. LOL
    image
  • My mom told me the date and time of my shower and also admitted that it was somewhere like a restaraunt  - not at her house - but wouldn't say where.  It's gonna be a brunch at 12:00 noon.  Invitations have been sent out, but I'm not getting one.  She refuses to tell me "any more details" but at this point that's just annoying lol - I've already heard enough about it!
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  • I would be PISSED if the rehearsal was a surprise. First I have to know where it is because that's when I'm having the grooms cake so I need to know where and when it has to be delivered. Also...I would be afraid of who was getting invited them. If I know nothing about it who knows who would be invited. FMIL is already trying to invite FI's grandparents.....but NOT mine? Um HELLO?!?! I don't think so. So if it were a surprise I wouldnt be able to put a stop to that. To me thats just weird.
    And I dont like surprises. lol. I know when my shower and bachlorette are but thats it. No details. Which is kind of frustrating. Esp because I am supposed to pretend I dont even know when any of it is. So I'm just going to show up in a dress...and packed for my bachlorette...yet I dont know they are happening? Ok.
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  • In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]liadee, thats exactly the way i am trying to look at it! Its hard because i am the same way as you and rien! I am usually not a fan of surprises and i feel very anxious! Apparently, i will find out when i get the invite for the RD. Its weird, i know! So at least i dont have to wait all that time to find out that one!
    Posted by jmplasket[/QUOTE]

    Of course I would fail at my own advice, don't get me wrong. Haha I would just be freaking out the whole time so it wouldn't be a relief. It would be more stressful.

    ...the whole RD thing is weird. You're finding out when everyone else does? I mean is it at a place you like, will there be drinks, music? What should you wear? I would be really annoyed, and probably talk to FI and have him explain to his parents (or planners) that you'd like to know some details to prepare,etc.
    image
  • lol mmaxwell, you sound just like me!!

    My FMIL asked me for a guest list for the RD, so i definitely know who is invited. I dont mind it too much, but everything else is a surprise. So, i was excited to be involved in one thing besides the wedding.
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  • In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]My mom told me the date and time of my shower and also admitted that it was somewhere like a restaraunt  - not at her house - but wouldn't say where.  It's gonna be a brunch at 12:00 noon.  Invitations have been sent out, but I'm not getting one.  She refuses to tell me "any more details" but at this point that's just annoying lol - I've already heard enough about it!
    Posted by citygirl17[/QUOTE]


    This. They think telling us "not to worrry" and to just show up will actually work. I don't know any brides who would just be like "thats cool," whatever you want. I'll just show up. Also, FMIL is planning mine and love(/hate) her but she THINKS she knows my style and what I like, but she has no idea. She only knows what she thinks I SHOULD like.
    image
  • Eck! None of my stuff is a suprise thankfully!  shower and bach party I get having them be suprises (I would hate it) but the rehearsal is kind of a big deal! Like melissa I am having the grooms cake there and our officiant and nobody but me knows who those people are!
  • Speaking of the groom's cake, I need to get on that. I want to try to find one in the shape of a sax or someone who will do one in the shape of a sax.
    image
  • Bachelorette party - I'm actually really confused about this one. My twin sis is my MoH - I definitely told her that I don't care (honestly!) if she throws me a bach party or not. She insisted at first, and was gung ho about it being a surprise/"none of my business" (in a cute way). A couple of weeks ago, she asked me about "if" I had one, what would I like to do, and who would I invite? So I gave her some examples. Then another bridesmaid contacted me for more information.

    Then the other day I told her I don't care what we do as long as I get to dress up, and she goes awkwardly "Ugh - I don't know if it can happen. It seems expensive, and I thought you said you didn't care if you had one, and honestly, with moving and coming up there in August to visit with the dog, and coming to your wedding, I'm flat broke".

    So either it's a smokescreen and I'm getting one, or she's being honest and I'm not.
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  • In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]liadee, thats exactly the way i am trying to look at it! Its hard because i am the same way as you and rien! I am usually not a fan of surprises and i feel very anxious! Apparently, i will find out when i get the invite for the RD. Its weird, i know! So at least i dont have to wait all that time to find out that one!
    Posted by jmplasket[/QUOTE]

    I'd definitely be weirded out by getting an invitation to my own RD!
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  • In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise! : This. They think telling us "not to worrry" and to just show up will actually work. I don't know any brides who would just be like "thats cool," whatever you want. I'll just show up. Also, FMIL is planning mine and love(/hate) her but she THINKS she knows my style and what I like, but she has no idea. She only knows what she thinks I SHOULD like.
    Posted by LiaDee[/QUOT

    Seriously!  My mom and I do not share the same style so I'm a little concerned lol.  I am happy that it's a brunch.  That will be perfect.  But I don't know who she invited, where the place is, what I need to wear, what food is being served, what the invitations look like, ANYTHING!  And it's driving me crazy!

    Also, the RD is apparently being hosted by FI's stepmother (FMIL passed away.)  She told me (A) that I could pick the place and (B) that she's doing an open bar.  So I picked the place, gave her the contact info, and now I have no idea what is being done, the food, the time, etc.  And I want to contact our officient to let him know what time he should arrive to the rehersal beforehand but I can't until I know some more details about the dinner afterwards.  UGH I am also a little bit of a control freak but SEE?  SEE what happens when someone else is left responsible?  It falls apart.  lol
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  • I'm with most PP's I hate surprises.  My BM's bless their hearts were trying to make it a surprise and only tell me the date.  That didn't work out for them!  

    The bach party I wouldn't like as a surprise either... what do I wear, I want people other than the bridal party invited, do I have to nap?

    and the RD? NO WAY!!!   that would kill me you should def be in control or at least have major input on that I think!
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  • In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]Nothing is a surprise for me, thank God, because everyone knows how I am. I don't handle them well. Like, at all. So my mother, sister (MOH) and cousin have been keeping me in the loop on pretty much everything. The RD being a surprise is weird. My first question was how will all the people on your side know, but guess you just have to assume the planners have it under control and won't forget anyone. That would drive me crazy !
    Posted by rien713[/QUOTE]

    Same here!
  • I still know nothing about my shower... It's giving me the sads.
    image
    murrayed
  • In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]Bachelorette party - I'm actually really confused about this one. My twin sis is my MoH - I definitely told her that I don't care (honestly!) if she throws me a bach party or not. She insisted at first, and was gung ho about it being a surprise/"none of my business" (in a cute way). A couple of weeks ago, she asked me about "if" I had one, what would I like to do, and who would I invite? So I gave her some examples. Then another bridesmaid contacted me for more information. Then the other day I told her I don't care what we do as long as I get to dress up, and she goes awkwardly "Ugh - I don't know if it can happen. It seems expensive, and I thought you said you didn't care if you had one, and honestly, with moving and coming up there in August to visit with the dog, and coming to your wedding, I'm flat broke". So either it's a smokescreen and I'm getting one, or she's being honest and I'm not.
    Posted by Trishes[/QUOTE]

    Trishes, this sucks.  It'd be nice if they'd at least be clear about whether you're getting one or not.

    I'm somewhat involved in RD plans, and I know I am having a bridal shower this weekend, I'm not sure of most of the details (it's at FMIL's house in MN), but it's her friends and family, so I don't really care.  Haven't gotten to Bachelorette plans yet.  I definitely don't want to plan it, but I don't want it to be too much of a surprise either.
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  • edited June 2010
    In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise!:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Everything is a surprise! : Trishes, this sucks.  It'd be nice if they'd at least be clear about whether you're getting one or not. I'm somewhat involved in RD plans, and I know I am having a bridal shower this weekend, I'm not sure of most of the details (it's at FMIL's house in MN), but it's her friends and family, so I don't really care.  Haven't gotten to Bachelorette plans yet.  I definitely don't want to plan it, but I don't want it to be too much of a surprise either.
    Posted by LauraM737[/QUOTE]

    I know - I really honestly don't care if I get one or not - I know I'm not getting a bridal shower, but it wouldn't make sense for me to have one of those, since I don't really have any close peopls here. I would like to know at least one way or another, because if I am, I'd like to get a cute dress for it!

    I'm planning our "welcome party" in lieu of a RD (just to get everyone together who's coming in from FL and other guests, to say "Hey, welcome to our wedding weekend!). Since our rehearsal is a day before the wedding but has to be on site in the morning (weird circumstances), it just works better that we do a bbq a couple of days beforehand.
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  • none of my stuff is a suprise which has its pluses and negatives--plus: i get to help organize and be in the loop.  negative: i have to help organize and be in the loop.  i kind of wish everything was a surprise because then i would not have to spend energy on it, but at the same time, i am a control freak.
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