Snarky Brides

Will you all please back me up here?

For some reason, my FI is really resistant to having a photographer photograph the wedding. He says it's not really needed and he doesn't want to pay someone $100 an hour to take pictures of us. He says a couple of his friends have a nice camera, so they can take pictures. I think it's rude for us to ask them to do this during the wedding and to put that kind of pressure on them.

I found a really good deal ($100 an hour, minimum of 5 hours). I am so adamant about this that I flat out told him I would pay for it by myself. My belief is that we are paying all this money for other aspects of the wedding, I want someone there who has a professional eye to take the pictures that our friends won't think about. Plus, my dress is gorgeous, and I want the right lighting and whatnot to make it look sensational.

Please back me up on this... He has been making me crazy with his attitude on this aspect!
image
Malcolm AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

Re: Will you all please back me up here?

  • Pictures would be the one thing I would splurge on. I don't think guys get it. I don't know about you but I cant keep all the memories in here [points to brain].
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Ditto to all of the above.  I didn't want to have a photographer at our wedding either.... Then we went to Disney and took some family photos....  YIKES!  Needless to say, we are having a photographer.....
  • Having friends photograph your wedding is just a bad idea. Not only will you get inferior pictures, you will get them whenever your friends feel like giving them to you. This mistake is made SO often to save money, and it is virtually always a bad choice.

    Get real professional photos. You two will only get married once, and 100 bucks an hour or more is a small price to pay for great photos you will have the rest of your lives.
  • Pictures were my top priority and FI agreed.  That's the one thing (besides hazy memories) that we'll have forever.  Tell your FI what I'm paying for pictures and he'll agree that $100/hr is awesome (I'm paying around $3800).
  • I agree with your FI, but then again pictures weren't all that important to us. We were fine with pictures that friends and family took on their own (and they all had a bajillion between them). My dad has a nice camera and he and my brother offered to take most of the shots for the ceremony and portraits.

    I put together a wedding scrapbook and picture website, but honestly we'll probably hardly ever look at them. So spending $500 on a photographer would have bee a waste of money for us. But it's important to you, and that's what matters. H and I agreed it was a waste, but if you really want professional pictures then hey, it's your wedding too and your FI should respect that. And yes, it is rude to expect friends to just do it for you.
  • RachNRichRachNRich member
    First Comment
    edited October 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-please-back-up-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e60adc1d-bd7d-4950-9ecf-3bc96d8bc92aPost:c6da4923-b8a8-4b2b-97e8-ea797f7385b1">Re: Will you all please back me up here?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you want to look back on your wedding like it was a night out at a bar with bad lighting, poor framing and horrible angles, then not hiring one is a great idea :-).
    Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]
    <div>Ha! This!!</div>
    image
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited October 2010
    In hindsight, I wish I had spent more on photography.  It's worth the splurge - you will look at those pics forever, and I regret not getting many of the group/family shots I wanted.  I got a great deal too, but would have spent more money in a heartbeat to get more pics and better pics.  I vote to go for it.

    ETA: I agree w/ Jelique - guys just don't get it.  My DH would have hired a 5 year old with a film camera.
    imageFollow Me on Pinterest
  • This was my DH and I's first decision. He loves photography and knew of all the things we paid for that the pictures were the most important part. We love our pictures, and I catch him looking at them all the time.

    Our photographer was not that expensive, but we would have paid more just for the memories of that day. I guarantee you once you get them back he realize why you fought so hard for this.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • A good photographer was a priority for us.  Once the wedding is over, the photos are what you have left.  We booked our photographer as soon as we had our date.  He should be willing to compromise on this one.  Is there another budget item that you could cut a bit to help afford the photographer?
  • J would have paid to keep the photographer AWAY. Not an option.

    We did formal studio shots and during the ceremony shots, and my parents surprise gifted us with the entire package (we'd gotten a 12 print deal).

    My sister in law took pictures during the rest of the night as a gift for us, which worked perfectly. The shots were fun and casual and intimate. Even my nephew took some (and they weren't bad, except for the one of my thigh and the one of my aunt's nose).

    I DO wish we'd gotten some pictures out on the strip dressed up, either with her or a professional.
    image
    Do not mess in the affairs of dinosaurs because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
    I love you Missy. Even though you are not smart enough to take online quizzes to find out really important information. ~cew
  • What I told FI is that our photos will be the only tangible memory that I have of our wedding day, and I want them done right.  I also told them that I was willing to cut in other areas that weren't as important (i.e. decorations/flowers) to us so that I could have a great photographer.  HTH!
    Photobucket
  • I am so thankfuly of the pics taken during my wedding. I absolutely love them. I also think most guys don't get how important pictures are (thankfully my Husband was all about having some great photos) I also think that is very kind of you SEWF to think of the pressure it would add to the friends - which I agree with.

    I'm sorry FI - but I think you are wrong and you will regret not having the photographer there to capture all those great moments.

    Anniversary
  • There was no way we were even going to think about not having a photographer. I am a camera WHORE and FH is a professional photographer. It was his job to find a photographer that he liked and when he did, I was pleased. :)

    Telling your FI that you will pay for them, might work. Good luck!
    And the whole time, my future husband was in the room...... image image
  • ...Yeah, your fiance is wrong.

    Good quality, professional photos are a must at a wedding.  If you're going to splurge, you gotta splurge on the pictures (and possibly video, if that's your thing).

    Plus if you have your friends do it and something goes wrong - then you have problems with your friends, and that's not cool.
    panther
  • edited October 2010
    You're FI is wrong and you would regret not having a professional photographer.  I do think that this is something that *some* guys just do not get.  My FI's jaw dropped when I told him how much we were spending on the photography and I've overhead my fellow engaged male co-workers saying the same thing about how much their FI is spending on photography.  This conversation is usally followed by them grunting and eye-rolling lol.  The photographer was one of the first things I prioritized and we're spending about $2500 on it.
  • Thank you all! He's generally letting me do whatever I want (he calls himself 'the most important prop in our wedding' which also annoys me, but he says it with love). If he had his way, we'd elope in Vegas with Elvis officiating! That was a firm NO, because I have a huge family whom I'm very close to. His family is tiny, so he wasn't as worried about it.

    I originally found a photographer that costs $1200, which I thought was a good deal. FI flat out refused to pay that much. Fine, I'll keep looking. I found this photog for $500, and thought, 'Awesome! Surely he'll be fine with this!' Nope.

    Our friends will probably still take pictures, but at least we will have professional ones, too.

    I've decided that I will just pay for it myself with some help from my family. That way I can say 'I told you so' later on!
    image
    Malcolm AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_will-please-back-up-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:e60adc1d-bd7d-4950-9ecf-3bc96d8bc92aPost:6e79935c-f926-4d12-b205-3efe36de0822">Re: Will you all please back me up here?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Pictures were my top priority and FI agreed.  That's the one thing (besides hazy memories) that we'll have forever.  Tell your FI what I'm paying for pictures and he'll agree that $100/hr is awesome (I'm paying around $3800).
    Posted by NatesGirl16[/QUOTE]
    Me too!  We are skipping the videographer, but I felt like the pictures are going to be what we have for a lifetime to remember all the OTHER details of our wedding, so they have to be good.  We got a pretty good package deal for $2600 which is pretty cheap for this area.
    "Plus who needs a purse when you have a wedding dress? Those things are like walking hobo bags just waiting to be stuffed with surprise treasures." -Wedinator.com image
  • Fi's brother and wife didnt spend alot on their photographer so when we got engaged wnd were budgeting they both said that is the one are they wish they would have splurged on. So we hired a great photographer we dont want any regrets
    Photobucket We're Married!!!!
  • Everyone keeps telling me this day is going to go by so quickly and in a blur, for that reason I agree with you that quailty photography is very important.  I agreed to cut back on the flower budget in order to win this battle with my FI.  He actually asked me "how many pictures do we need?"  It was like he was thinking we were going to have poster size wedding pictures hanging all over our house.  After I stopped myself from going off about this, I just laughed.  He isn't putting the time and effort in to the day that I am, so he can't possibly understand the importance of wanting to capture each moment.

    We ran off to Vegas and got married!
  • You need a good photographer, especially if pictures are important to you. I wish we had spent more on photography, we went with the cheepest photog we we looking at and while most of the pictures are nice, they aren't wowing like some I've seen and they aren't very creative. We also waited for 4 months after our wedding to get them and I had to threaten to sue the guy if he didn't get them to use after countless promises that they "were in the mail". It's the biggest regret I had of our wedding. If it's important to you, then do it.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards