Two weddings one day

riss51483 · September 2012

thanks for the help. everyone!!!! so right aobut friend b

ThankfulSnail · September 2012

This is really a decision only you can make, because only you really know about these friendships.

My only thought is that it would be easier to tell friend B, "I'm sorry, B, I already agreed to be in A's wedding, which is on the same day," than it would be to tell A, "I'm sorry, A, but I can't be in your wedding now that B chose the same date." Good luck!

CFM102012 · September 2012

I would stick with friend A. You agreed to be in her wedding first and the dress is already ordered. If friend B booked her wedding with the hope you'd switch, thats a really sucky thing to do to you. Good Luck.

Kristin789 · September 2012

Do only Friend A's wedding,
or go watch "27 Dresses" again, and do them both.

StephBeanWed61502 · September 2012

Friend B knew you had a preexisting commitment on that date and for whatever reason, picked it anyway, so I vote skipping her wedding. Either she doesn't actually care that much about you being there, or she expects you to ditch Friend A's wedding that you already planned for, bought a dress for, etc., and either way, I think you need to honor your prior commitment to Friend A.

lyndausvi · September 2012

I'm not sure why this is even a question. I would tell Friend B "sorry, but as you know I'm already committed to another wedding that day".

achiduck · September 2012

Yup, you need to tell the friend you've already committed yourself to being in a wedding that day.

RebeccaB88 · September 2012

Yeah, Friend A was first. You told Friend B that you couldn't be there on that date, and she did it anyway. That's her perogative, but she needs to understand that it would be douchey of you to back out of another commitment just for her. (I forsee Friend B as a bridezilla in the making.) Friend B will just have to get over it.

Loopyseven · September 2012

Etiquette says you stick with the original original committment you made if you get invited to more than one event at the same time. Since you'd already committed to A to be in her WP, bought a dress, and had the date set in stone 8 months ago, that is your first committment so B will have to understand that it would be extremely rude of you to back on out A at this point.

Peledreamsofrain · September 2012

Ok, so here is how things most likely will work out with each decision:

Either choice ends up with an angry/sad bride, so that's unavoidable and a given.

Choice A: You stick with your first commitment, which is correct etiquette, and the 'nice person' thing to do.

Choice B: You cancel with Bride A. Bride B is now happy, but you've made a bad etiquette decision, and commited to the bride who has the highest Bridezilla potential.

The way I see it, the cold hard facts make a clear choice. However, only you can weigh the emotional attachments involved in this, and those can outweigh facts any day.

zantster · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_two-weddings-one-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:ef27c13f-9707-4542-a1bf-b4befb2b8893Post:3d869a62-471f-4fe0-8283-fd2f1ca1460f">Re:Two weddings one day</a>:
[QUOTE]Friend B knew you had a preexisting commitment on that date and for whatever reason, picked it anyway, so I vote skipping her wedding. Either she doesn't actually care that much about you being there, or she expects you to ditch Friend A's wedding that you already planned for, bought a dress for, etc., and either way, I think you need to honor your prior commitment to Friend A.
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]
Like Steph, I was wondering if she chose that date knowing that you would have to say no as well, which calls into question what else might be going on behind the scenes that would prompt her to do that. It just is too much of a coincidence unless that date is super significant like some kind of anniversary for them. And I doubt she is nearly as concerned about the predicament she put you in as you are otherwise she would have mentioned how she knows this must not be easy for you but this date means so much cause blah, blah, blah. So stick with A like the PPs have said since her actions show you where you stand with her as opposed to B.

[Deleted User] · September 2012

This shouldn't even be a "predicament." Friend A.

"Friend" B sounds like a b*tch. I can tell that she is going to be Bridezilla. She knew you were already committed and expects you to just drop Friend A??? Crazy!!

Lisa50 · October 2012

Tough choice. "Keep the commitment you made first ..." is what came to mind for me. I know it won't be easy. I wish you the best of luck!

Cortney1982 · October 2012

Um, I would never pick bride B. She knew good and well you were already commited that day. I could only imagine her diva like behaivor and demands as her wedding nears. Either she doesn't care if your there or she thinks she's super special that you would drop the other commitment like a hot potato for her.

Calypso1977 · October 2012

id go with friend A.

Im also wondering - how close are you to this childhood friend B? im wondering if she asked you out of haste, informally, and now has someone else she'd rather have as her MOH? maybe that's why she knowingly booked her wedding the same day - saves her having to kick you out of her WP if you back out on your own.

lcatterton · October 2012

The choice is obvious, but....

I can just imagine the shitstorm you are going to ensue in telling Friend B that you won't be attending her wedding, because of your prior commitment. My guess is that she'll totally blame you and be very angry. Although, it's her own fault!! She does not seem like the type of "friend" you want in your life. Good luck, I'm interested in knowing how this turns out!

Jen4948 · October 2012

Be in Friend A's wedding.

Tell Friend B, "Unfortunately, I can't cancel on Friend A to be in your wedding. You chose the date of your wedding with full knowledge that I had a conflict. I hate to miss your wedding, but I don't have any choice."

Two weddings one day

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