• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
October 2010 Weddings

Should my officiant stay for dinner??

I didn't know her prior to this.  I only met her once (the day we booked her) and I won't see her again until the wedding.  It's a short (15 minute) ceremony.  Is it necessary that she stay?

If she does, does that mean she's a guest and I have to work her into the seating arrangement?.. or does she eat with the vendors?    She doesnt know anyone.. she doesnt even know Us.
~Alissa & Frank 10.9.10~

Re: Should my officiant stay for dinner??

  • I just had to figure this one out. Our Judge will be staying for dinner. We probably aren't doing assigned seating so he and his wife can sit where they want. If I had assigned seating I would put them with the vendors. Just my opinion.
    10-10-10
    Anniversary
  • um...well my officiant is my uncle and he is also a guest as he is my uncle. but with my first wedding, i had two officiants (one rabbi for my jewish side, and a minister for my christian side) one stayed and sat with the vendors, the other one left and didnt eat...id work her in, and put her with the vendors and let her decide if she wants to stay...we gave them the option, by inviting them to stay. 
    Photobucket BabyFetus Ticker BabyName Ticker
  • I was wondering the same thing.  Our officiant is a friend of a friend who hasn't even met us in person.  We've done everything via emails and phone calls.  I guess I'll just ask him if he plans to stay and eat?  If so, I'll work him into the seating arrangement.
    <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v503/Xan921/softkitty_zpsf83df4bb.jpg" width="300px">

    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Recipes"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttd98e3.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0" /></a>

    [url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wlYejN1/]
    [img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/t/wlYejN1/weight.png[/img]
    [/url]

    NNT for 5+ years. TTC since March 2012.

    Irregular and anovulatory cycles. March 2012-Ultrasounds show no cysts. November 2012- CD 3 b/w all normal. Working on losing more weight before further testing. Trying out some natural remedies in the meantime.

    Nestie Besties with Nfp147

    TTC Buddies with Amandaf6383
  • I did not send an invite to my JOP. I also met her once and will see her again the day of the ceremony. So I do not feel it is necessary, I am already paying her $200 so I am not going to spend another $70 on her meal too.
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers image
  • Yeah, I'd ask. Our officiant told him when we met with him that he doesn't typically stay for dinner, but that he will most likely stay for the cocktail hour.
    My guess is that if he/she is a hired vendor, he/she won't expect to get a place at your tables, but you should probably make the gesture.
    Erica & Alan
    October 1, 2010

    [IMG]http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l587/mokey75/IMG_0222-1.jpg[/IMG]
  • I'd generally think that if they weren't a relative, close friend, or pastor you grew up with they wouldn't need to be invited to dinner.  If you're paying them for their services (but don't know them outside of this specific event) there isn't a reason for them to stick around - they won't know anyone.
  • I'm not inviting my officiant to my reception (it's a different location).  She's a paid vendor, so I don't see the need.  She is invited to the rehearsal dinner, though.
    Laura
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We sent an invite to our officiant and wife, but they didn't RSVP. 

    However, my venue coordinator said that if he (and wife) attend, they should be seated with guests...NOT with vendors.

    All other vendors (DJ, DOC, and phototag) will sit in bar area, but the officiant should be seated with the guests.

    I'm hoping he just doesn't attend
  • I ditto Kenna and Laura.

    Our pastor is my FFIL, sooo i guess ill work him in Wink
    SHANNON Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My officiant is my pastor of the last 8 years.  But I go to such a large church that the first time I ever actually spoke with him, was when we met to do premarital counseling after I asked him to officiate.  So... we are not formally inviting him, but if he wants to stay, he can.  I highly doubt he will, though.  Same for the rehearsal dinner.
    Expecting our first... Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFetus Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • It's nice to invite them, but they don't normally stay for dinner
    My pastor was very clear to me that he would be leaving after the ceremony.  His reasoning was that he had an early sunday service to prepare for
    and i'm sure that has something to do with it but i'm also thinking he doesn't want to be around all the drinking that will take place.
  • We are having ours stay because we know him, but if we didn't then I would just ask if they would like to stay!

    Leigh Anne & Billy
    *October 2nd, 2010*
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2010-weddings_should-officiant-stay-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:595Discussion:722e02f6-d8f9-4202-9df0-707a1ad0f909Post:8663dfd1-4e75-44d0-a52f-57440d672d24">Re: Should my officiant stay for dinner??</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yeah, I'd ask. Our officiant told him when we met with him that he doesn't typically stay for dinner, but that he will most likely stay for the cocktail hour. My guess is that if he/she is a hired vendor, he/she won't expect to get a place at your tables, but you should probably make the gesture.
    Posted by ead1975[/QUOTE]

    This is what we're doing too.  He already said he usually doesn't stay.  We're only met him once, seems like a very nice guy, but I would have no idea where to put him other than with the vendors.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    image 141 Invited so far!
    image 83 Are ready to party!
    image 58 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Have yet to respond!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2010-weddings_should-officiant-stay-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:595Discussion:722e02f6-d8f9-4202-9df0-707a1ad0f909Post:51ba2b87-2e6c-470c-96d8-30af94e7defb">Re: Should my officiant stay for dinner??</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did not send an invite to my JOP. I also met her once and will see her again the day of the ceremony. So I do not feel it is necessary, I am already paying her $200 so I am not going to spend another $70 on her meal too.
    Posted by KellyJayD[/QUOTE]

    This. If she's a paid vendor, no way does she have to stay for dinner. If she's a minister or family friend, she should be invited.
    my read shelf:
    Meredith's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    40/112

    Photobucket
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards