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what should we do?

sweetcatastrophesweetcatastrophe member
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in Destination Weddings Discussions
fi and i sent out invitations and already have back all our RSVPs except 1--his cousin in the air force doesn't know his schedule for august yet but really wants to come.

we started talking about it and there's a few people that we've gotten a bit closer to since the invites went out a couple months ago and would like to have at the wedding. what should we do? there's still over 2 months before the wedding, so they definitely could get reasonable prices for flights and book their hotel. i'm not sure how to go about it. they also all know that we've been trying to keep the wedding small from the beginning. we have 19 guests now.

what do you ladies advise? should we just forget it at this point b/c it would be too awkward or is there a polite way to not make them feel second rate?

Thanks!
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Re: what should we do?

  • ToBeMrs.O2011ToBeMrs.O2011
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    Hmmm that's a tough one, but I feel like we're going to bump into that situation ourselves in about 6 months. :)

    Obviously you can't send them an official invite, so if you really wanted to invite them, I would have a conversation with them.  You could say something along the lines of "we're so happy that we've grown close with you over the last few months and consider you to be good friends.  I realize its somewhat last minute to be planning a vacation but if we'd be honored for you to join us in Aruba for our wedding."  I mean it is what it is and if you're just honest about it, I don't think they'll be upset especially if they too realize that your relationship has really deepened just recently.


    Good Luck! :)

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  • dew3162dew3162 member
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    We have actulally had this situation arise ourselves and have decided not to invite them.  They have also heard us talking about how small we want to keep it so I'm sure they understand.  But to stay on the safe side, I try not to bring up anything about the wedding or cruise when we are around them but sometimes it's hard because one of my really good friends is coming on the cruise and we are usually all together so she seems to bring it up a lot because this is her first cruise and she's so excited.  Just yesterday at lunch, she brought it up and the other two were there and one of them did say "i wish we were going on the cruise too, we love to cruise" so I quickly changed the subject.
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  • SpazdoodlesSpazdoodles
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    I agree with PP. Instead of giving them an invite have a conversation in person. Her wording was perfect!
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  • LolaPizzyLolaPizzy
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    edited May 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_should?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:e53b9592-136d-47ca-ae06-a2f89c403852Post:bbfed5bb-6397-42b8-8b1b-11958b21ea5e">Re: what should we do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hmmm that's a tough one, but I feel like we're going to bump into that situation ourselves in about 6 months. :) Obviously you can't send them an official invite, so if you really wanted to invite them, I would have a conversation with them.  You could say something along the lines of "we're so happy that we've grown close with you over the last few months and consider you to be good friends.  I realize its somewhat last minute to be planning a vacation but if we'd be honored for you to join us in Aruba for our wedding."  I mean it is what it is and if you're just honest about it, I don't think they'll be upset especially if they too realize that your relationship has really deepened just recently. Good Luck! :)
    Posted by ToBeMrs.O2011[/QUOTE]

    This! If you are close enough with them and they are laid back enough to be understanding of this, I'd definitely approach it this way. They will probably feel flattered that you now feel so close to them that you want them to attend.

    I will probably have this situation happen with a girl that I only began hanging out with in November, but have hung out with a lot since then. She's interested in the wedding and all and asks about it, yet I think it's a bit early to invite her since I want to see if we will remain good friends or if we'll drift apart and she probably doesn't expect an invite at this point. I do think she'd be understanding of the "last minute" invite. She is someone that I hope to become even better friends with so sometimes it's not about only old friends that you want to stay close with, but also new friends that you hope to be friends with for a long time.
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  • sferg2010sferg2010
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    edited May 2010
    We had something similar happen.  FI added a few more guests to the list and they got their stds a few months after everyone else.  To me it was a waste because none of those people are coming.  We extended the invite anyway. If you've grown close to them have a conversation to let them know and see what happens.

    FMIL wanted to invite an additional person a few weeks ago and I told her it doesn't make sense.  The formal invites were already sent out and the rsvp date had passed.
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