Full of questions

Re: Full of questions

• melb2013 member

  

  August 2012

  If you pay for your OOT guests to have dinner, then you need to pay for everyone's dinner, which makes this a dinner reception.  If you want to go to dinner, do it alone.  

  
  

  You do not have to pay for the WP attire, but it's a nice gesture.

  May 2013 February Siggy: Invitations

  

  

  Report0 Reply
• monkeysip member

  

  August 2012

  PP is right, but just to add, you could, by word of mouth, tell people that you're going to X restaurant, and if they want to, they can join you.  In that situation, you wouldn't pay for them (because as pp said, if you paid for them, and no one else, then that's like a tiered reception of sorts, and rude).  But if you just want to be able to go to dinner and see others, then you're welcome to do that.  But you can't host just some people.
  
  

  
  SaveSave

  Report0 Reply
• LeiselEB member

  

  August 2012

  Just to clarify, are you including these plans to go out to dinner afterward on your invitations? Or sending out any formal invitations for that? Because if you are, you need to be paying for everyone's food.  If it's just word of mouth that's fine. 

  
  

  A lot of times people will host OOT guests at the rehearsal dinner because they've traveled, but you're already hosting those guests at the reception the same as local guests, so you aren't breaking any rules by not paying for their dinner later that night after the reception. 

  
  

  I wouldn't pay for anyone's meals unless you want to pay for everyone's. If you pay for some, it would imply that you're hosting this dinner, and then you'd have to pay for everyone, know what I mean?

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Summer2011Bride member

  

  August 2012

  I would also suggest inviting OOT guests to the RD and hosting them there. That way you don't have to host anyone at dinner and risk doing a tiered reception. Like Stage said, I might make dinner a private thing with you and your new H and then let people know you will be at such and such bar or what not after dinner if they'd like to come hang out. That way, you don't have to host anything after your wedding reception and don't have to worry about only hosting some.

  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• Kate61487 member

  

  August 2012

  if 95 guests are from OOT how big is your guest list?  I'm just curious if this is like 95 of 120 or 95 of 300.   I'm not sure how your H would expect being able to buy that many people dinner; I mean without renting a space and thus making if feel a whole lot like a second reception where do you even fit 95 people?
  
  Have dinner just the two of you, or you and your immediate families or you and your BP - regardless, keep it to a slightly smaller group.  I don't see a problem with you paying if you want to; though as long as you're just inviting by word of mouth you don't have to.  I know when I go visit my parents I occassionally pick up the tab, so I don't see why it being your wedding day mean picking up the tab = tiered reception.  I'd make sure you and your FI change out of wedding attire so it doesn't seem like an extension of the wedding but it's clear the wedding is over and now you're just going out to dinner with family/friends.
  
  Also - No.  You're not expected to pay for your WP standard attire.  You need to get a budget from each of them, and stick to the lowest budget, but it's generally expected that they pay for their own clothes.  If you insist on matching shawls / shoes / socks / jewelry - something outside the standard dress and suit then you should pay for it.

  

   
  

   Married Bio

  Report0 Reply
• leatba member

  

  August 2012

  Thank you all for your input. This was really bugging me. We talked and we are just going to go to dinner after and then tell people we will be at a set place if they would like to come. What a load off

  

  Report0 Reply