RSVP deadline....Grrrr.....

Re: RSVP deadline....Grrrr.....

• vantica

  

  May 2012 edited May 2012

  I haven't had to deal with this yet, but I would probably say something like:
  
  "Hi GuestName! 
  
  I hope everything is well.  I'm just writing to ask if you were coming to our wedding?  I need to get my numbers in by this Friday and would hate to miss people who are planning on coming!
  
  Take care,
  Hobie"

  

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• Hobie625

  

  May 2012

  Yeah this is kind of what I was leaning toward (since it's the most straightforward), but I didn't want it to come off as "What?  Your wedding RSVP?  This is the first time in months I hear from you and you want to know about your wedding?"  I don't want it to seem impersonal or self-centered.  
  
  At the same time, since these are close friends, it should be even easier!  But, I will readily admit I'm nonconfrontational and I'd rather wait it out than possibly offend them.  Since people have to travel to our wedding, I guess I'm feeling like if they wanted to come or WERE coming, they would have RSVP'd awhile ago and since they didn't I kind of already know their answer. 
  
  My response totally turned into a self-therapy session, but it felt good to say it and I appreciate your suggestion!

  

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• vantica

  

  May 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_rsvp-deadlinegrrrr?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:b98543c1-48fe-4788-b3a8-72d02dfb5c6cPost:f0d17599-172f-4c21-b0ad-b8361b92e0ca">Re: RSVP deadline....Grrrr.....</a>:
  [QUOTE]Yeah this is kind of what I was leaning toward (since it's the most straightforward), but I didn't want it to come off as <strong>"What?  Your wedding RSVP?  This is the first time in months I hear from you and you want to know about your wedding?"  I don't want it to seem impersonal or self-centered.</strong>   At the same time, since these are close friends, it should be even easier!  But, I will readily admit I'm nonconfrontational and I'd rather wait it out than possibly offend them.  Since people have to travel to our wedding, I guess I'm feeling like if they wanted to come or WERE coming, they would have RSVP'd awhile ago and since they didn't I kind of already know their answer.  My response totally turned into a self-therapy session, but it felt good to say it and I appreciate your suggestion!
  Posted by Hobie625[/QUOTE]
  
  If you think about it, it would be the second time they've heard from you, and the first time would be with your invite!  So really, it's them that didn't take the time to respond back to your contact.  Lol.  If it were me I would really appreciate the email because I only have the worst memory ever and just didn't realize the date, or had the RSVP in my purse the last several weeks that I forgot to drop in the mail.  Plus, it really would suck to find out that they did RSVP and you just didn't get it, but they are coming and you just assumed they weren't and didn't count them. 
  
  As for personal, you can make it personal when they reply.  "Yeah, flights are expensive!  Only a few people are able to come, which we expected, but we were hoping!  So how is so&so?  How is school going?  Did you get that promotion you were hoping for?"  or  "You are coming???  Great!  Where are you staying?  Do you need some recommendations??  How is little Timmy doing?  Can't wait to see you!"
  
  Definitely wait a day or two just in case more mail comes in, but don't just assume because you never know! :)

  

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• Hobie625

  

  May 2012

  I know you're all right about this.  I think the lost in the mail approach might be the best option for me.  As for the above comment, I think I am feeling guilty that I haven't been better about keeping in touch more frequently.  But I moved out of state, then the country, and have been planning a wedding.  I'm stressed. 
  
  And I think if it was anyone else, the 'forgot to send in the card' excuse might have, well, been excused.  One girl was/is supposed to be a bridesmaid, and another just sent me a message on Friday asking about the wedding planning.  So plan of action is to wait a couple more days, then send the emails.

  

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• MiksChick23 member

  

  May 2012

  I would also give them a deadline in which to get back to you (in the even they don't know or you had to leave a message/send an email etc). Make sure you let them know that if they don't respond by then (since obviously they ignored your last due date) you will have to regrettably mark them down as a NO and not include them in the count to the caterer. You will not want to pay for meals "just in case". I agree with PPs about giving them a few days to arrive as many may have plopped them in the mail ON the due date.

  
  

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