Chit Chat

Update on Sister

For those of you who remember:

About a month ago (I think? give or take) I posted about my sister, who has psychosis and bipolar disorder, as well as a host of physical problems. You were all so wonderful and supportive, and it made me feel 1000 times better about the situation. A couple of you asked if I would come back and update, so I just wanted to keep you in the loop.

She saw a neurologist because MS runs in my family and she was showing all the symptoms of MS, but thankfully her brain scan came out normal. She still has really difficult symptoms to deal with, like constant GI upset and migraine headaches pretty constantly.

Emotionally, she is fragile. I still feel like I am never going to have my best friend back, even though I hope every day that she will get better. I can't talk to her about anything, even though I used to be able to spill everything to her, because she can't handle anything that's not completely 100% positive.

I was hoping she might be getting better, but then on Saturday, we unexpectedly lost our stepmother. We were very close, but she and my sister were like best friends. My sister is devastated, and I feel like I don't have time or a chance to be sad. I haven't even processed it yet because I've been too busy trying to be strong for her.

A couple of you suggested I find a support group or someone I can talk to about this, and that was the best advice I could have gotten. I opened up to one of my friends, and she found me some great resources. It has helped immensely. I'm starting to realize that it doesn't have to be my job to make her feel better every single time she needs me. It's really hard sometimes not to do everything in my power to make her feel better, even at my own expense, but I'm trying.

I hate feeling like a drama llama, but this of course has been at the forefront of my life for months now. My mom has gently suggested that my sister check herself into some kind of facility for a little while before she completely falls apart and something bad happens, but for right now, she won't consider it.

Anyway, again, just wanted to update those of you who asked, and thank you all again for being so supportive and helpful. Especially for the suggestion that I find some support, because I hadn't even considered that I might need some help, too, and it has made all the difference.
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Re: Update on Sister

  • I'm so sorry for your loss - T&P
    It's good to hear that you're realizing you can't bear the burden for your sister's actions though. You have your own life to lead and it sounds like you'll be much happier and less stressed now that you're realizing it's not your job to make her happy. GL.
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  • I'm sorry about your stepmom. I believe you have the right to be upset and a "drama llama" for a while. This stuff is hard to deal with, and no matter the outcome you will be a stronger person for it. Of everything I have read, you are a fabulous sister, and being a little selfish and caring about yourself for a little bit is NOT wrong, it's healthy. (so is crying, if you haven't had the time to do it)
    Thanks for the update.
  • My brother has Bi-polar so I can understand some of what you are going through.  A few years ago my mother and I attended an 8 week program for families of people with a mental illness and it was very informative and helpful.  If you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.
    Good luck and remember to take care of yourself too.
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  • I'm so sorry for the loss of your stepmother. Kudos to you for reaching out and getting support.
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  • So sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers, for both you and your sister. It sounds like you're getting great support. Take good care.
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  • T&P on your loss.

    Maybe you could take your sister to see a movie? Maybe The Secret World of Arrietty? It's a children's movie and mostly positive. It could possibly create a new bond between you and your sister.



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  • Thank you all. It's nice to have some support.

    Lois, that's a great idea. She could use some down time away from the boys!
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