No gift from some of the guests

Kimness17 · November 2010

We did not receive a wedding gift from a number of our guests including the Groom's brother/best man and his wife. Did this happen to anyone else?

banana468 · November 2010

It's only been a month. I'd relax about this if I were you.

Some guests didn't give us gifts at all and some guests didn't give gifs for months and up to a year+ after the wedding.

Just remember that gifts are never required. And while I'll agree that it's kinda sucky not to give your own brother a gift, it's also sucky to comment on it.

Beachy730 · November 2010

Yes its very common that people have at least a few guests not give gifts. A gift is not required and shouldn't be expected. It is said though that guests have up to a year after the wedding to give gifts, so you never know. And also, many times WP members do not give gifts because of the money they spend on attire and other wedding related things.

LP11509 · November 2010

Gifts are not required. And, maybe they did send something and it just hasn't arrived yet?

Case in point, I shipped something from BBB to a friend for his wedding a few years ago. I ordered it in May for their June wedding. In September, I received an e-mail from BBB saying that my gift had just been shipped. Crap happens.

Mrs.B6302007 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f9e7a2e-be1d-41c8-b7f5-b672f65829e5Post:beb4b651-9138-447f-b986-b3015275c7b2">No gift from some of the guests</a>:
[QUOTE]We did not receive a wedding gift from a number of our guests including the Groom's brother/best man and his wife. Did this happen to anyone else?
Posted by Kimness17[/QUOTE]

SUre. It happens. A lot of people are having a hard time and maybe they just didn't have the money.

Nebb · November 2010

While its common for a person here or there to not give a gift, I think its a pretty diick move to go to a wedding and not give a gift.

PandaBurr · November 2010

My FI and I are guilty of not getting a gift for his brother when he got married. However, we're in Seattle, and they're in San Diego, and it cost us over $300 just to get down there. We also dogsitted for them after the ceremony. BUT! I still feel bad for not getting them a card.

Did they have to spend a lot of money to attend your wedding? Or like PP suggested, on stuff for being in the wedding party?

[Deleted User] · November 2010

Ditto pp's. We actually had several people who did not get us gifts. Some we did not even get a card from. We did not complain about it, we were just glad they could be a part of our special day.

And yes, times are hard for a lot of people and we knew of a few specifically that could not afford to buy us anything and we were ok with that.

hccpsu · November 2010

DH's sister didn't give us a wedding gift, or give me a shower gift, and I admit it, I was annoyed. She got married four months before us and I picked out very generous shower and wedding gifts... and we never got a thank you for the wedding gift. It was definitely NOT because money was tight--I don't know why she wouldn't give her brother a gift. The only person I could have asked about it was my MIL (to ask in case SIL did bring something, and it walked off), and I didn't want to look like I was tattling that her daughter didn't get a present.

kayakrunhike · November 2010

We didn't get one from my brother, either. My mom was more upset about it than I was, truthfully. I know money was tight for him, though, and he had a relatively expensive tux to pay for as well. It's not really worth worrying about, just thank them for coming to the wedding and move on.

JerseyML · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f9e7a2e-be1d-41c8-b7f5-b672f65829e5Post:b3e9556e-285e-442f-9673-1bbc8f3ea43b">Re: No gift from some of the guests</a>:
[QUOTE]While its common for a person here or there to not give a gift, I think its a pretty diick move to go to a wedding and not give a gift.
Posted by Nebb[/QUOTE]

Not sure if this is sarcasm or not..sometimes I can't tell..

But I do agree. My FI has a friend who never gives a gift at weddings. I love the kid to death but I just don't understand why he want's to be known as THAT guy. He is going to be invited to our wedding. He will get a favor at the end just like everyone else. I just don't know what his deal is. For me, I couldn't go to a wedding if I couldn't give the bride and groom something, anything!

Calypso1977 · November 2010

how much money did your BIL (the best man) have to drop on tux rental, bachelor parties, etc.? maybe he feels he's invested ENOUGH money in yoru wedding that a gift wasnt necessary.

Calypso1977 · November 2010

oh, and my sister, who was my MOH, didnt even get me a card. and her wedding expenses were fully paid for/subsidized between me and my mother, and she had no shower/bachelorette responsibilites so she could have afforded a $2 card. no card honestly bothered me. lack of gift didnt.

ehathewa · November 2010

No one has mentioned what you are supposed to do when this happens:
Send a Thank You card for attending the wedding.

Nebb · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-of-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4f9e7a2e-be1d-41c8-b7f5-b672f65829e5Post:6c50c423-72cf-4d31-8997-5ba281f3c248">Re: No gift from some of the guests</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No gift from some of the guests : Not sure if this is sarcasm or not..sometimes I can't tell.. But I do agree. My FI has a friend who never gives a gift at weddings. I love the kid to death but I just don't understand why he want's to be known as THAT guy. He is going to be invited to our wedding. He will get a favor at the end just like everyone else. I just don't know what his deal is. For me, I couldn't go to a wedding if I couldn't give the bride and groom something, anything!
Posted by JerseyML[/QUOTE]
Totally serious statement. I dont believe for a second that people cant afford a small gift of any kind, regardless of how tight money is. Its called budgeting. If you cant scrape together an extra 20$ in a couple months... well... I dont know.

megk8oz · November 2010

Nobody in our WP (Which included all of our siblings) gave us a gift. They kind of, you know, spent a lot of money to actually be there for us in the first place, so it really never occurred to me that any of them "owed" us one.

Plus, regardless of if he was in your WP or not, gifts are not mandatory anyway. You still send somebody a Thank You note if they attended.

LiaAli · November 2010

I agree with the majority here. You shouldn't expect a gift from everyone but I personally would never go to a wedding if i couldnt give a gift. Especially now because I know how much time and money goes into planning a wedding. Also, it is understandable that times are hard and people are strapped for cash, but most people send out invites around 2 months before a wedding so couldn't you just put a little money aside here and there? Thats just me though!

HilaryH1231 · November 2010

We were actually lucky enough to receive gifts from the majority of our guests, but we did have several who didn't bring anything (no card). As pps have said, yes it sucks, and I don't really understand showing up completely empty handed (although we have a few people who forgot the card and mailed it later), but unfortunately there's not much you can do...unless you think there's a possibility that their gift got lost, as happened to ootmother?

Bubbalub · November 2010

Holy wall of text. I couldn't even get through all that but some tidbits that are rubbing me the wrong way are:

"while I didn't invite people to my wedding, specifically for the gift - the idea that they didn't think enough of me and my husband to bring one after we virtually spent a small fortune so they could have a good time, is an insult.

Really? You are throwing out the cost of the party you CHOSE to throw as an excuse to judge people on their gift or lack therof? There are a million reasons people may not bring a gift to the wedding and finances and personal feelings about the couple are only two of them. What you choose to spend on your party has nothing to do with how much money people spend on you for your wedding.

"However, when you do not address it beforehand and when you show up to a wedding with no gift, mooch and come off as if I should be honored you even attended - I would have rather you not have come."

Holy shiit. You invited these people to your wedding supposedly because you love them and want them to share in your joy and celebrate. But if they don't bring you a fucking gift then they are moochers and they shouldn't even be there? Wow, you are a peach.

mandysmear · November 2010

Some people didn't even get us cards for our wedding. I didn't care about the gifts. I really didn't. But, cards mean a lot to me. So, I was a little disappointed.

No gift from some of the guests

Re: No gift from some of the guests

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