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BM Vent .... i feel bad that im upset ... HELP!!!

carl4252003carl4252003 member
First Comment
in Florida-South Florida
ok when reading this keep in mind that our wedding is 2 months away from yesterday and we are in the home stretch ...

so i have a VERY small bridal party ... my sister in law and 2 closest friends ... and the groomsmen are his 3 brothers and my 1 brother ... 

one of my best friends ... who i LOVE more then ever bc weve known each other since we were 10 .... has been going thru some medical things ... she is what id like to call a hypocondriac ... she has migraines ... major migraines and cluster headaches ... 

so the past few months shes been going thru mri'sand different tests to find out whats wrong ... and now she has to have surgery .... i love her to death and i completely understand about her surgery and my main concern is her health ... but she tells me today that she cannot come to the wedding and cannot be a bridesmaid anymore .... 

honestly ... i am sooo upset that my best friend cant be a part of it ... but i am also majorly concerned about her health ... 

i kinda feel guilty that i am upset that my bridal party is uneven and i have to stress now with my "backup bridesmaid" to get her a dress and see if i can get it in time .... my friend said she will ship me the dress for my other friend down here .... but the main problem is ... she ordered a size 18 ... my friend down here is a size 4 ... 

do u think that its alterable?   

or

do you think if i order a dress for my friend down here we will get it in time for the wedding?

im soooooooooooo confused and lost what to do! 
IlanaandDanWedding291of1402Anniversary
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Re: BM Vent .... i feel bad that im upset ... HELP!!!

  • XxMari518xXXxMari518xX
    First Comment

    1) VIBES TO YOUR FRIEND!  That is super scary and I hope everything goes well

    2) If you find an AWESOME seamstress she can use the material to "re-make" the dress.  Try Reina ... she's the lady everyone raves about.  She may be able to help.

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  • carl4252003carl4252003 member
    First Comment
    i have reina on my list to call ... she is doing my dress .... so i was planning on calling her .... i hope it works ... and i hope my friend gets better! 

    thanks!!! 
    IlanaandDanWedding291of1402Anniversary
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  • STBMrsDioSTBMrsDio
    First Comment
    First of all, I'm sorry about her health. It must be very scary for both you and her and my prayers are with you guys as you go through this. That being said, are you deadset on having 3 bridesmaids? You could just have a guy walk on either side of a girl. I walked a wedding where they did that. And if not, maybe the dress can be altered? Does it have alot of detail? If it is just fabric, I can't see why they wouldn't be able to. Good luck with this. And relax, everything happens for a reason. You're wedding will be gorgeous regardless of what happens!! 
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  • carl4252003carl4252003 member
    First Comment
    thanks ... and no the dress is very simple .... 


    im trying to relax but i am so concerned about my friend that i feel so bad im concerned about the dress .... 

    ill have to bring the option of having the girls walk with 2 guys on each side ... that might be a option if the dress option doesnt work ...

    thanks!! 
    IlanaandDanWedding291of1402Anniversary
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  • MsAmeera25MsAmeera25 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment

    I'm sorry you are going thru this but do you really need to replace her? Do you think the back up BM will care that she is the back up BM?

     

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  • quiggels219quiggels219
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    I am so sorry about your friend. I hope her surgery goes well and she has a speedy and healthy recovery. I am also sorry she cannot make it to your wedding - that would be disappointing but obviously her health comes first. If it were me I'd just have uneven sides - we are having uneven sides and I haven't really thought much of it. One guy walks two girls - my fi little brother is actually thrilled he gets to have a bm on each arm! I would also worry the backup friend may feel like a second thought or something but some people wouldn't care, so that just depends on your friend.
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  • deelopi9deelopi9
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    I'm sorry you are going through this - it's a no win-win situation with your bestfriend - you want to be supportive and at the same time alter your vision that you thought was pretty much set.

    I chose to have 3 bridesmaid and 1 MOH and 1 Best Man. During the ceremony instead of having all the guys/girls stand all ceremony long - it would look completely uneven - only the MOH and BM will be standing.

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  • FaithCaitlinFaithCaitlin member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I'm so sorry to hear this!

    Honestly, I'm not sure if altering the dress is gonna happen but it's worth calling Reina! Keep us updated!

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  • carl4252003carl4252003 member
    First Comment
    thanks for all the support!! .... i hope my friend is ok too ... 

    my friend told me the dress actually just came in and shes going to ship it to me this week or next week .... 

    i called Reina she said it shouldnt be a problem ... even if the dress doesnt look the same ... bc my MOH is wearing a different dress then both bridesmaids ... so if all 3 are different looking ... or similiar yet different im fine with that ...

    i called a bridal salon ... they said with the bill levkoff rush it would make it here 2 days before the wedding ... no bueno 

    my "back up" bm knew she was a backup ... since i recently moved to florida ... she is my only friend i have made down here so far ... we actually became REALLY close after the wedding planning had begun .... 

    the only reason i didnt ask her to be a bm was bc i knew it was too much money for her and she even said  that too ...

    i actually spoke to my friend in ny and she said she is going to pay for the dress for her ... little does she know my mom said she was going to reinburse her for it ... i dont feel she should pay for it bc she is struggling medically and we all know financially comes after that with all teh medicall bills 

    i spoke to my "back up" and shes as excited as can be ... lets just hope Reina can work wonders!!!! 

    thanks to my mom ... she said she was goin to pay for this dress as well as the alterations for it ... 

    my bridal party is already uneven ... 4 men 3 ladies ... no best man ... but now  that i have my florida friend in it .... the numbers stay the same 

    i told my friend in ny that no matter what if she calls me the day before the weddnig and tells me shes on a flight down to florida ... ill always have a spot for her ... 

    guess this means after the wedding fi and i will ahve to make a trip to ny to party with her up there!

    fingers crossed Reina can work wonders on this dress!!! She seemed VERY CONFIDENT when i spoke to her on the phone ...
    IlanaandDanWedding291of1402Anniversary
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