Any Others Hoping for a Few "Not Attending" RSVPs?

[Deleted User] · February 2010

I feel a bit pessimistic and party-pooper-ish to say so, but I am seriously looking forward to some people saying they can't come. By the time our family and friends were put on the list, we're up to 175 people, about 75 more than we wanted. Here's to hoping people don't want to travel or will be out of town.

I must be the anti-bride or something, not wanting a huge blowout with hundreds of people. So far we've only gotten "Yes" RSVPs. Not many, as I just mailed the invitations out last Friday, but still. Come on people, be busy! I may very well have a panic attack saying my own vows in front of that many people.

acissej0786 · February 2010

We invited 165 people and are hoping for under 100. Good thing my cousin is having her sons first comunion the same day out of state!!

[Deleted User] · February 2010

Yeah we have a lot of people out of town and others that are always busy, so I'm hoping for a much shorter final guest list (and so is my wallet!).

tmoseman · February 2010

I completely understand! We wanted a wedding with about 75 people, but just MYaunts, uncles, grandparents and 1st cousins were at 65! That's not taking into account that most of my cousins are married, have about 3-4 kids each, and insist on bringing all of them everywhere. My family is also always fighting and is very high-drama, which I want nothing to do with. I haven't even seen most of these people in over 8 years. We decided to go "adults only", but 2 of my cousins who have 8 kids between them informed my mother they were "heartbroken" they couldn't bring their kids. My mother caved and told them it was fine to bring them. I've also had several cousins who I invited as singles ( I didn't put "& guest" on their invites) tell my mom they were bringing their new girlfriends to my wedding. My FH was pressured into inviting some of his co-workers and friends he hasn't seen in years. I told him that I had cut cousins and most of my friends so we needed to compromise. He agreed, talked to those people, and came back telling me that several of them told him they wouldn't be able to make it. He wanted to invite them as a courtesy, which I was completely fine with. Imagine my surprise when I start receiving "Will Attend" RSVP's from these people. My FH called them and they had cleared their previous schedules to come to the wedding! We had invited about 120 people. It looks as though we are going to have about 150! There were many family members I didn't invite for various reasons and I've been informed that most of them plan on showing up anyway...uninvited! I'm paying $75 per plate and we are only having as many chairs as people that RSVP, so this could cause some problems. I'm about to throw in the towel. I feel your pain.

lindz221 · February 2010

Yep! Inviting 275 and hoping for around 210...All of FI's family lives across the country though so I know a lot of them can't come.

SarahPLiz · February 2010

AS long as you have space for everyone you invited, then yes, I can jump in this boat. I think our guest list is expanding, but we have room and budget for them. Still, I'd rather have a smaller wedding too.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_others-hoping-not-attending-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bd5a7b96-2b07-4254-a1c5-deacd12c7312Post:25fd5a34-7515-4d39-8434-1f39d55b614a">Re: Any Others Hoping for a Few "Not Attending" RSVPs?</a>:
[QUOTE]I completely understand! We wanted a wedding with about 75 people, but just MYaunts, uncles, grandparents and 1st cousins were at 65! That's not taking into account that most of my cousins are married, have about 3-4 kids each, and insist on bringing all of them everywhere. My family is also always fighting and is very high-drama, which I want nothing to do with. I haven't even seen most of these people in over 8 years. We decided to go "adults only", but 2 of my cousins who have 8 kids between them informed my mother they were "heartbroken" they couldn't bring their kids. My mother caved and told them it was fine to bring them. I've also had several cousins who I invited as singles ( I didn't put "& guest" on their invites) tell my mom they were bringing their new girlfriends to my wedding. My FH was pressured into inviting some of his co-workers and friends he hasn't seen in years. I told him that I had cut cousins and most of my friends so we needed to compromise. He agreed, talked to those people, and came back telling me that several of them told him they wouldn't be able to make it. He wanted to invite them as a courtesy, which I was completely fine with. Imagine my surprise when I start receiving "Will Attend" RSVP's from these people. My FH called them and they had cleared their previous schedules to come to the wedding! We had invited about 120 people. It looks as though we are going to have about 150! There were many family members I didn't invite for various reasons and I've been informed that most of them plan on showing up anyway...uninvited! I'm paying $75 per plate and we are only having as many chairs as people that RSVP, so this could cause some problems. I'm about to throw in the towel. I feel your pain.
Posted by tmoseman[/QUOTE]

Oh yeah, that wouldn't fly with me. If I said not to bring kids or a guest, you wouldn't be bringing kids or a guest. I have no problem telling people they have to follow the invitation rules! I don't see the point in intiving a lot of co-workers or friends you haven't seen in years, but apparently some people get offended if they aren't included. Like, one of FI's friends got all huffy he wasn't on the initial guest list...yet we weren't invited to his wedding a couple years ago!

I too have family that is not invited, but luckily the other family members would have no problem showing them the door. We're having a buffet so there's no cost per plate, but still that's a lot of food. I told FI last night that there will be NO MORE additions, I will say no from now on, and he agreed.

Ultimately, a lot of people live out of town and our wedding is a little bit of a drive, so I'm thinking we will get a good handful of no's.

kimheartsscott · February 2010

I would love to have a wedding around 30 people, but our families (not including ANY of my dad's 9 siblings and their spouses and kids) total 100. And I know all of my fiance's family will come, because the all live within 10 miles of us, except for 2 cousins.

bablingbrooke · February 2010

We had to invite 205, but fortunately 40 were in the old country and weren't going to come (but all hell would break loose if they weren't invited). We were aiming for about 140 and wound up with 139. We tried to estimate who was and wasn't likely to come, and we found we had about 90% accuracy. So trust your gut.

KristinD49 · February 2010

I definitely have some people I don't want to invite at all and some of my FH's cousins who he barely knows that I hope decline. I'm also afraid that his mother is going to want to invite distant relatives. My sweet FH said he'll tell her she has to pay for their plates if she wants them. Its not about saving money for me though, its just that I have a certain number I can afford and I'd rather have those spots for people we know. I feel sort of bad for this but I've been trying to come up with ways to NOT invite 2 of my aunts. Over the last couple of years they've caused some drama for my mom and dad and I don't really like them. I saw them at Christmas and they didn't congratulate me on the engagement let alone ask to see the ring. Why would I want them at my wedding?

[Deleted User] · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_others-hoping-not-attending-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:bd5a7b96-2b07-4254-a1c5-deacd12c7312Post:9ccb5f6f-3bd2-43b4-ab09-8d3064b03383">Re: Any Others Hoping for a Few "Not Attending" RSVPs?</a>:
[QUOTE]AS long as you have space for everyone you invited, then yes, I can jump in this boat. I think our guest list is expanding, but we have room and budget for them. Still, I'd rather have a smaller wedding too.
Posted by SarahPLiz[/QUOTE]

We have the space, and could afford everyone invited (just prefer to save a little before the honeymoon!). I'm just not that good in large groups, even if they are with people I know and love. And we are saying our own vows, which is nerve-racking to just think about, let alone actually do. The smaller the crowd, the better for my sanity.

luckyme502 · February 2010

We are hoping for some Nos too! Our original plan was to have 50 people. We are inviting 72. We already know 5 won't be able to come. We can accommodate everyone who is invited though!

Gardini5 · February 2010

I love this!! We are inviting 214 and WANT 190 at the most. But if they RSVP, we will make the room & food for them...but I'd much rather the people he sees once a decade at weddings at funerals didn't attend!!!!!!!

bowlerchick1705 · February 2010

i feel the same way we planned on 200 hundred and we are near it but since i was layed off from my job im hoping some people don't show just because i can't afford it..... like some of the cousins i hardly talk to that would be great

saman21 · February 2010

Trust me. My fiance and I are in the same boat. Hoping a lot of our invites are not able to come, we have over a hundred, but want no more than 80-100. hahaha...We are not trying to be mean, but when you are footing the bill the less the better.

LauraMosk263 · February 2010

We are inviting 140 and are hoping for 110ish, lol....everyone does it!

cheeziesue · May 2010

Yes, finally someone whp feels my pain...our guest list was SUPPOSE to ber 150 max, but thanks to my mother it has ballooned to 300. I had to cut her off and told her, she could not invite anymore people seeing as my gromm's portion only consists of 30 people, she was a little upset but I THINK she understands, but here's to hoping for, "sorry can't make it"hehe

betrothed123 · May 2010

Cheezi-HowTheFuck did you find this post? And why did you waste the time searching for it?

[Deleted User] · May 2010

I want to name my next cat Cheeziesue.

betrothed123 · May 2010

Would you shorten it to Cheezie? Because I can see you standing at the back door screaming "Oh Cheeziesue! Come 'ere Cheeziesue!" and it's making me laugh.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

We don't let our cats out, so it would be more like I step on her on my way to the bathroom in the morning and say "for the love offuck, Cheeziesue, get the hell out of the fucking way!".

betrothed123 · May 2010

That's even funnier.

Any Others Hoping for a Few "Not Attending" RSVPs?

Re: Any Others Hoping for a Few &quot;Not Attending&quot; RSVPs?

2011 Reading Challenge

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Any Others Hoping for a Few &quot;Not Attending&quot; RSVPs?

Re: Any Others Hoping for a Few &amp;quot;Not Attending&amp;quot; RSVPs?

2011 Reading Challenge

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Any Others Hoping for a Few "Not Attending" RSVPs?

Re: Any Others Hoping for a Few "Not Attending" RSVPs?