I can't tell you how many boards I have looked at to try and get advice from those, but my FMIL is driving me up a wall and around the corner! Before FI and I got engaged everything was fine...yes every time we came in town they would harp on us for not being engaged yet. In fact they did it so much that when he proposed he didn't even tell his parents he was going to do it because of that. The day after she started calling me almost daily and making all these plans for the wedding and 100% overwhelmed me. At this point I'm about to EXPLODED!!!
Reason #1: FI and I set the guest list at a max of 200 ppl in the beginning and we have had to up that to 300. From day 1 I straight up told my FMIL that I don't want to be meeting anybody new at my wedding unless it was family. That went right over her head! I've already had to give up my dream venue for a bigger one to accommodate 300 ppl. Not to mention she want to do a round 2 for invites after so many decline.
Reason #2: FILs have said they will help pay for some of the wedding esp because of the increase in the guest list but they haven't given me a number, they have just said they'll help. I had left the up to FI to figure out but he hasn't done anything so I'm freaking out about having to sit down and talk to her about money, but as of now we can't afford an extra 100 people and everything else she is telling me we "have to have" at our wedding. How did ya'll handle this?
Reason #3: FI HATES and I mean hates cake. In TK mag I saw that they had something about Marble Slab caters and we both thought that it would be perfect because he loves ice cream with mix ins. FMIL hates it. She hates it so much that she has gone to the point of saying "we're not going to have that at the wedding, it's tacky but I suppose if its that important you can have that at the rehearsal dinner and that it". She seriously tried to put her foot down on that subject!
Reason#4: Our styles on everything (food,decorating,ideas on everything) are different as far as the wedding goes and I can tell when she starts getting huffy puffy when I say something to that I can tell she doesn't want or when I start to say no to an idea.
I hope this all makes sense. I'm sorry for ranting and I'm sorry this is so long but it's honestly only the start of everything and if you can't tell i'm stressing out. I've tried so hard to keep it in because I know it would really hurt FI if I told him that his mom is really pissing me off and i'm on the brink of yelling at his mom (and so is my mom). How do I deal with all of this in the correct manor without telling her to back the heck off and let me plan my wedding the way I want it? Am I being selfish? Thanks