Ceremonial gestures (besides the unity candle)??

nrayyes · February 2012

We are having a secular ceremony and we are writing our own vows. Our officiant is a good friend who introduced us a few years ago. He suggested lighting a unity candle or doing some kind of gesture like that at the end of the ceremony, after we do the vows and rings, etc. I'm not crazy about the candle idea but I can't think of anything else that is much better. One thought I had was putting our vows (we will have them written down with us) in a special box, and locking it and having the officiant hand it to us as something to hold on to and remind us about why we are married, etc... he also suggested something that involves our guests, like taking a lap around the guests after we are married (not sure I want to do this!)

any other (better) ideas?

AdeleDazeem · February 2012

I would skip this. What is a more ceremonial gesture of unity than a wedding ceremony? You're saying vows and exchanging rings - it doesn't get more unifying than that.

MBDD13 · February 2012

We are doing a rose ceremony. http://weddings.usabride.com/wedding-planning-advice/the-rose-ceremony/

But ours is modified to show the foundation of our love by family and friends bringing roses up and putting them in the vase. Then we will take our roses from bud vases and exchange them with each other then join them with the rest of the roses.

LeiselEB · February 2012

I honestly think the ceremony itself is enough. I'm not a fan of unity candles because they're redundant - marriage is a union, and the rings and vows symbolize that, so why the candle? That's just my opinion though.

Handing flowers to each others parents/grandparents is popular, and simple enough. I think the lap around the guests is strange, and the box thing seems like something you guys could do on your own.

naomikb · February 2012

I've seen the wine box done (that you suggested in your OP) - bottle of wine, put loves notes in, nail it shut. You open it on your 10 (or whatever year) anniversary, drink the wine, and read each other's love note.

There are lots of different things you can do... sand ceremony, wine drinking, rope tying, hand fasting, love knot, coloured cocktail (or water) mixing/drinking...

Just because lots of different ceremony extras exist doesn't mean you have to use one of them though. Do what feels right to you and your FI - you don't need to add an extra part just because.

nrayyes · February 2012

thanks for the ideas/ feedback. I think we might work in a special box that the ring bearer brings the rings in, and then we will put our vows in that and have it as a keepsake. but Leisel is right, we can do that on our own afterwards. I think we will keep it simple and not add something if it feels forced.

LuckyGirl1713 · February 2012

do what feels natural to you, don't just add something to the ceremony unless it truly means something to you.

Hilraythebride · February 2012

We are doing a unity candle and handing our FMIL a rose.

A lap around the guests?

melntaitt · February 2012

We're going according to my cultural background and having a handfasting ceremony - that wouldn't even be included if my parents hadn't insisted.

Whatever you do just make sure it's of signficance to you - or skip it; it probably won't be missed.

TeamLindaMark · February 2012

If you want something different, you could also do a wedding vase. It is a Native American tradition similar to the unity candle.
Here is a link:http://www.myspiritualwedding.com/content/005427.shtml

Just another option:)

bluekit15 · February 2012

I came across a nice idea in the planning kit our officiant sent to us (Glynn Ferguson) its called warming of the rings so the wedding rings are passed round your friends and family and they are asked to send a silent wish as they hold them.....

blgrout · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremonial-gestures-besides-the-unity-candle?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:90253be2-0747-4b68-997b-abde2d1c670bPost:792dce79-b315-4210-b56f-50beb5c0f720">Re: Ceremonial gestures (besides the unity candle)??</a>:
[QUOTE]thanks for the ideas/ feedback. I think we might work in a special box that the ring bearer brings the rings in, and then we will put our vows in that and have it as a keepsake. but Leisel is right, we can do that on our own afterwards. I think we will keep it simple and not add something if it feels forced.
Posted by nrayyes[/QUOTE]

I think that's an excellent idea! I watched Four Weddings last night and saw someone do that, so they could open the box and read their vows again when things get tough, to remind themselves why they got married. :)

jseguine38 · February 2012

My fiance doesn't like unity candles. He says every time he sees them he thinks about how easy it is for that flame to go out - not a very positive symbols of your unity.

So we're tying a sailors knot and giving flowers to each other's mom. THe knot idea fits in with our invites and can be displayed, and we're doing the flower thing to tie in what we're having our adult flower girl do.

Lisa50 · February 2012

I think that vows (and a kiss) are enough.

Ceremonial gestures (besides the unity candle)??

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