Bachelorette party: ring or no ring?

MegamiMoon · April 2010

I'm doing my bachelorette party Vegas-style. Would it be fine if I left my engagement ring at home? My fiance doesn't have to wear a ring during his bachelor celebrations, so I don't see why I have to either. Just a thought. (although we're all good girls with husbands/boyfriends, so our weekend will mostly consist of lounging by the pool, fancy restaurants, and cirque du soleil)

sgervais88 · April 2010

I don't understand... why don't you want to wear you engagement ring?

ipwtfa91 · April 2010

No, most people aren't celebrating being "single," they're celebrating almost being married. If you and your fiance are okay with being unfaithful or purposefully trying to indicate to others that you are anything but dedicated to eachother, I think that's kind of...a bad sign?

The reason I wear the ring is as a sign of commitment, monogamy, appreciation, love, and trust.
So no, neither of us will be pretending to be single.

banana468 · April 2010

Why would you leave your ring?

I've never seen a bride take off her engagement ring for her bachelorette. It's a celebration that she's about to be married - not a single fling.

AdeleDazeem · April 2010

I'm not sure how to answer this, so I'll put it this way: if I went to a bachelorette party where the bride had taken off her ring, then proceeded to tell me she took it off so she could spend the night "single," I'd have a really hard time respecting her. Perhaps this isn't how you intended your question, but that is how it is coming across.

Cuppy Cakes 09 · April 2010

A) I don't understand why you would ever want to take your ring off period. I feel "naked" without my ring on!
9 out of 10 times the bachelorette wears some tiara, T-shirt or sash announcing that she is the bachelorette so how could someone not know that you are the bride, you are taken and so on?
C) Unless you are doing something shady (as others have said) wear your dang ring! OMG how hard is that! I couldn't imagine any bride wanting to not wear her ring, especially for things revolving around the wedding such as your party.

LisaTyler1984 · April 2010

If I were at your bachelorette party and saw you took off your ring, I would think your marriage was a joke.

tsp698 · April 2010

I also consider bachelorette, and bachelor parties as one last night out with the girls/boys as 'single'.

However I find it very concerning that you want to appear 'single', I can't think of one possible good reason why you would not want to wear your ring... What exactly do you plan on doing that would require you to appear 'single'?

Also, I find your reasoning to be very immature "My fiance doesn't have to wear a ring, why should I?"

For your FI's sake I hope you seriously reconsider this train of thought, and if you are this desperate to appear 'single', you should also reconsider getting married.

MegamiMoon · April 2010

I never realized there were so many mean people on The Knot. I was simply posing a question and didn't expect to be attacked by a number of you ladies. I thought this was a community, however I feel very victimized by being called "shady" and "immature" simply by posing a question. Couldn't it have just sufficed to kindly clear up any misconceptions I may have had regarding a bachelorette party? I think that jumping to conclusions and being quick to judge someone based on a few sentences (that can quite easily be taken out of context because they're read as opposed to said) says a lot of about a person. I'm sorry I asked.

BKane2B · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-ring-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c804ae19-39db-4f6e-862d-80794792f2a2Post:28802749-e45c-41f3-b7de-f732c5857757">Re: Bachelorette party: ring or no ring?</a>:
[QUOTE]I never realized there were so many mean people on The Knot. I was simply posing a question and didn't expect to be attacked by a number of you ladies. I thought this was a community, however I feel very victimized by being called "shady" and "immature" simply by posing a question. Couldn't it have just sufficed to kindly clear up any misconceptions I may have had regarding a bachelorette party? I think that jumping to conclusions and being quick to judge someone based on a few sentences (that can quite easily be taken out of context because they're read as opposed to said) says a lot of about a person. I'm sorry I asked.
Posted by MegamiMoon[/QUOTE]

I'm in agreeance with you - that yes, in this forum, there are people on here that make you feel like you're being attacked!!! One thing that I mostly dislike about the forums here, is that people tend to act like their poo don't stink, while sticking their noses up in the air! = and then shove it in your face & make you feel bad for posting your original question or concern.

To answer your question - If you're afraid that something might would happen to it (get lost, fall off, etc), I'd say don't wear it. I personally will be wearing my ring - I'm not to the point that I feel naked without it, because I DON'T wear mine night & day!

I find it funny, with society = they seem to let it slide by that the groom-2b (not ALL grooms, but the majority do) tries to make it known that he's single for this one final night & if he's gonna have any kind of good time (whether there's sexual promiscuity involved, or not) before he ties the knot. But the minute that the bride-2-be even thinks about not wearing her engagement ring, society tends to down on her, despise her, or make rude comments that she's a floozie!

Do what you want, dearie. And don't pay attention to all the "uppity" brides2be on here...it's YOUR wedding afterall! I'm sure there'll be plenty of the ladies on here saying rude comments about my reply - but you know what!? As my mom used to say "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words will NEVER hurt me!" ((((HUGS)))) sweetie & congratulations on your wedding!<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

brilibby4 · April 2010

People were not mean in their responses to you, they gave their honest opinions which is what you were asking for when you posted your question here. Don't get angry just because they didn't provide the responses you wanted to hear. If you don't want to wear your ring then don't wear it. However, be prepared that most people will react how the PPs have reacted in this thread.

MegamiMoon · April 2010

@StageManager14: yeah, I guess that's what I get for posing a question to the masses. You can think whatever you want. It's your opinion, not a fact. Like I said, I meant for the question to be neutral, but it was clearly taken out of context and misconstrued by most people here to make me sound like an immoral bride ready to behave badly. If any of these people had the good sense to read the rest of my post, outside of the title, they wouldn't have missed the part where I talked about my intentions to do no more than go to dinner and a show.

I never said I had any misconceptions, but obviously a number of people believe that I do and were quick to point that out in a less-than-kind way. I've never been to a bachelorette party before, so I had no idea what to expect, not that anyone knew, cared to ask, or even cares at all, period.

You see, this really has nothing to do with the original question asked. It all comes down to the ugliness of human nature and how people will jump at the chance to attack and to hate without prompt. I find that rather sad.

MegamiMoon · April 2010

@BKane2B: I appreciate your candor and support. It's nice to know that there's a bride on The Knot that can comprehend a question from a technical standpoint and give sound advice in that regard. I completely agree with the "double-standard" mentality when it comes to gender differences. It seems that few ladies on this discussion forum have ever seen "The Hangover".

I had always intended on wearing my ring, btw. Like I said, in the original question, it was just a thought. Obviously everyone else got a little overexcited and just couldn't wait to have my neck for daring to ask.

Thanks again and congrats on your impending nuptials as well!

MegamiMoon · April 2010

@brilibby4: I'm not angry, just disconcerted at the negative reactions I received. I would have been fine had I received unbiased opinions, but frankly, the other users' opinions were laced with meanness. I don't think that it was necessary to throw out labels such as "shady", "immature", and "desperate" as well as questioning the credibility of my relationship with my fiance, especially since no one even knows me. Weren't we all taught not to pass judgement upon others without fulling knowing or understanding the person or situation? I didn't think that I had said anything so offensive a to warrant that kind of reaction.

AdeleDazeem · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-ring-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c804ae19-39db-4f6e-862d-80794792f2a2Post:72c156e0-55d7-4400-b1a5-b5a32dc7fc67">Re: Bachelorette party: ring or no ring?</a>:
[QUOTE] just disconcerted at the negative reactions I received. I would have been fine had I received unbiased opinions, but frankly, the other users' opinions were laced with meanness. I don't think that it was necessary to throw out labels such as "shady", "immature", and "desperate" as well as questioning the credibility of my relationship with my fiance, especially since no one even knows me. Weren't we all taught not to pass judgement upon others without fulling knowing or understanding the person or situation? I didn't think that I had said anything so offensive a to warrant that kind of reaction.
Posted by MegamiMoon[/QUOTE]

I know you think we were mean, but we were responding to what you wrote. How else can we possibly respond? You said you wanted to take your ring off to be single for one more night. And your supporting evidence was, afterall, your fiance doesn't have to wear one.

There really isn't any other way of construing what you were really asking from these words. If total strangers respond this way, how will your friends?

Yeah, sometimes people jump down other people's throat's here - it's the nature of the beast. But your question - as worded - warranted every reponse you got. Instead of blaming all of us, maybe you need to stop and think about your words and intentions again.

brandibooh · April 2010

There's absolutely no reason to leave your ring! You're still engaged...right? You don't take a break from it because it's your bachelorette party! I'm having a Vegas one as well and you couldn't pry this ring off my finger. I'm gonna have a fun and wild time with my girls but still act like the engaged woman that I am including wearing my ring.

MegamiMoon · April 2010

@StageManager14:

Hate to break it to you, but you're still twisting my words around. I never said: "politely explaining my misconception" as you had quoted in obvious error. I said: "Couldn't it have just sufficed to kindly clear up any misconceptions I may have had regarding a bachelorette party?". Note the "may have" part.

Also, I never called anyone any names. It seems you're the one that brought up the words bitter, hateful, hag, etc. I have no hate for anyone here, but judging by the way you post, it appears that you're a very angry person. I've been on other topics and your attitude is the same on a number of other posts. All I have to say is that it must really suck to spend all of your time hating and looking for a fight with strangers online all day. Honestly, if my responses bother you so much, why come back to this thread?

@everyone else (except BKane2B)

But anyways, sure, I'll admit that I asked for it when I posted the question. I really should have asked my friends and family what they thought instead of a bunch of strangers that I don't know and who don't know me. Everyone around me is fine with my choice whether or not to wear my ring, my fiance included because there is a lot of love and trust between the both of us. So I guess that's all that matters. We're all happy, laid-back peeps here in the Bay Area.

To each their own, cheers!

luckyme502 · April 2010

Yes, you should wear your ring at the bparty. No, people were not mean to you.

MegamiMoon · April 2010

@StageManager14:

Yawn. You're still here? I'm starting to feel pretty special that you're spending all this time and energy on little ol' me.

And, as far as my anger issues go, I honestly don't have any. Your wedding and BK's wedding can be as awful for your guests as you can possibly make them, and your bach parties can be equally uncomfortable for your ladies. I don't care.

It's so weird that you assume that our weddings and pre-wedding parties are going to be awful and uncomfortable for our guests when you don't even know us or our guests. You know what happens when you assume... Plus, I think that you may have anger issues. Judging by how many posts you've had in such a short amount of time, I deduce that you spend a heck of a lot of time on these discussion boards trolling for a fight.

I don't generally post anything "mean" or "angry" until after I've been attacked first.

Yeah, maybe you don't "generally" post anything negative until being attacked first, but, judging by your use of "generally", you sometimes do. I never attacked anybody. I've also seen you post snide remarks on others' threads without provocation as well. Aren't you already married anyway? Go and spend some time with your poor, neglected husband instead of wasting it on strangers like me.

Nice sig, btw. It suits you.

BKane2B · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-ring-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c804ae19-39db-4f6e-862d-80794792f2a2Post:4bb6eb65-0c9b-4ab5-9fd6-4eb715dc1efe">Re: Bachelorette party: ring or no ring?</a>:
[QUOTE]Also, I never called anyone any names. It seems you're the one that brought up the words bitter, hateful, hag, etc. No, the bitter hateful old hag part was not directed at you but at your knight in shining agreement there, who HAS called regular posters (though not myself specifically) variations of those names. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I'm guessing that you're directing this at me - I'd like to know exactly when and where/what date exactly it is that you HAVE seen me calling regular posters "variations of those names" ???

If my memory serves me correctly YOU gave yourself the title of "bitter, hateful, hag" - when you posted something in regards to one of my questions in a different forum (in this post done by yourself): "Well, I'm an evil bitter mean hag, so despite the fact that I've planned 6 bach parties (2 of them dual) and had my own already, I obviously couldn't be of any help to you two."

It seems you like to act out on various posts, and I'm in agreeance that you seem to have a lot of anger issues. Perhaps you should take up an acting career! You should seek out local talent agencies for your wonderous anger/acting abilities = Little Rock has several! I'm sure they wouldn't turn you away!

BKane2B · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_bachelorette-party-ring-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c804ae19-39db-4f6e-862d-80794792f2a2Post:f56b6fa8-3261-42a1-8ec4-55cd6cb84cad">Re: Bachelorette party: ring or no ring?</a>:
[QUOTE]@StageManager14: Yawn. You're still here? I'm starting to feel pretty special that you're spending all this time and energy on little ol' me. And, as far as my anger issues go, I honestly don't have any. Your wedding and BK's wedding can be as awful for your guests as you can possibly make them, and your bach parties can be equally uncomfortable for your ladies. I don't care. It's so weird that you assume that our weddings and pre-wedding parties are going to be awful and uncomfortable for our guests when you don't even know us or our guests. You know what happens when you assume... Plus, I think that you may have anger issues. Judging by how many posts you've had in such a short amount of time, I deduce that you spend a heck of a lot of time on these discussion boards trolling for a fight. I don't generally post anything "mean" or "angry" until after I've been attacked first. Yeah, maybe you don't "generally" post anything negative until being attacked first, but, judging by your use of "generally", you sometimes do. I never attacked anybody. I've also seen you post snide remarks on others' threads without provocation as well. Aren't you already married anyway? Go and spend some time with your poor, neglected husband instead of wasting it on strangers like me. Nice sig, btw. It suits you.
Posted by MegamiMoon[/QUOTE]

WELL said MegamiMoon! LOVE IT! :D

larina+jeremy · April 2010

hey lady!

in response to your original question (i didnt even bother to read the other posts once it became clear that there was some drama - not that i disagree with anyone, or have any problem with anything said - i didnt read it cause drama is not my style) in my experience the bride/bachellorette does usually wear her ring. however, if i was afraid of it being damaged/lost/stolen whatever, i would leave it home and wear another ring on that finger (something fun, like costume jewllery lol). the madness at bachelloretts usually leaves no doubt as to who the bride is anyways, and really this is your chance to party it up in whatever way you want, so as long as you and your man have an understanding, to each their own. you and your fiance are the only people who truely know what kind of relationship you have, so do whats best for you both. congrats on your engagement, and have an awesome time in Vegas! its your bachellorette and all eyes are on you so work it lady!

Bachelorette party: ring or no ring?

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