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Thank you note question

iamstephiamsteph member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Thursday FI and I received at large gift from a group of people (wedding gift I believe). I had started writing thank you notes when I had my shower on Saturday. Some of those same people were in attendance, and gave more gifts (generous family! :)) 

My question is, can the thank you notes I haven't written include both wedding and shower gifts (the shower gifts for the most part were to us the couple, not me the individual), with a second thank you note to those that I had already written notes to? Or should each person get two thank you notes?

Thanks!
Married December 18th, 2010 :)
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Re: Thank you note question

  • laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    5000 Comments
    I think you can thank one person for multiple gifts in one note. I don't know what Emily Post would say, but if I got two thank you notes on the same day from the same person, I'd think there was something wrong with the person who wrote me two thank you notes instead of just mentioning both gifts in one note.
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  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    Yes, it's perfectly okay to combine shower and wedding gifts BEFORE the wedding.

    To thank someone for both after the wedding is not
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  • iamstephiamsteph member
    100 Comments
    Well they probably wouldn't get the second note until a few days/a week later! But I get your point ;)

    So here is the second issue:
    The large gift included many individuals, some from the same household (aka, a family), six households total. Some of the shower gifts are from two people, each from a different household mentioned above. So if it's one note, I can't thank the person for their shower gift, without thanking the entire household as well. 

    Not a big deal, but it's got me confused. And hopefully I haven't confused you! 
    We did get 12 place settings and the serving dishes, so I want to make sure everyone gets thanked!
    Married December 18th, 2010 :)
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  • Julz629Julz629 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    I think people are talking about 2 different things here....

    You are saying you got one large gift from numerous people.  You should write each person a thank you.  For example, 4 of my aunts chipped in to buy us all of our bedding.  I wrote each aunt their own thank you note.

    If you got multiple gifts from one person, you can send them one thank you note.  Let's say Aunt Jane gave you a toaster for your shower and a check for your wedding in advance.  You would send her one note to thank her for the toaster and her monetary gift.

    However, let's say Aunt Jane gives you the toaster now and then in a couple weeks she gives you money for your wedding.  You cannot wait until after the wedding to thank her for the toaster AND the monetary gift.  You should thank her for the toaster now and the money after the wedding with a separate note.

    Does that make sense?
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  • iamstephiamsteph member
    100 Comments
    Let me make a chart!
    Large Gift
    Family 1 (Jim Bob and Bitsy)
    Family 2 (Albert, Bonnie, Albert Jr, and Cathy)
    Family 3 (Zsa Zsa)

    Shower
    Gift 1 (Cathy)
    Gift 2 (Bitsy and Bonnie)
    Gift 3 (Zsa Zsa)

    I've already written notes to Family 1 and 2 for the Large gift.
    I think I may continue writing notes for the Large gift, and then write individual notes for the shower gifts, and combine Zsa Zsas.
    Married December 18th, 2010 :)
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-question-8?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:6b3bce56-6155-408b-8f7f-5dd95c9bc5d3Post:5a172bbe-848f-4b13-9cca-5fc977f5c0a6">Re: Thank you note question</a>:
    [QUOTE]Let me make a chart! Large Gift Family 1 (Jim Bob and Bitsy) Family 2 (Albert, Bonnie, Albert Jr, and Cathy) Family 3 (Zsa Zsa) Shower Gift 1 (Cathy) Gift 2 (Bitsy and Bonnie) Gift 3 (Zsa Zsa) I've already written notes to Family 1 and 2 for the Large gift. I think I may continue writing notes for the Large gift, and then write individual notes for the shower gifts, and combine Zsa Zsas.
    Posted by iamsteph[/QUOTE]

    No. What we're saying is that you have to write separate TY notes for shower and wedding gifts. If it makes you feel better, send the shower TY now and the wedding TY in a week.
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    And I'm saying I disagree. (Also, I was confused and thought your wedding already happened, NM.) I don't think it's such a huge issue to write an additional TY note, though.
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  • CellesCelles member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited November 2010
    At this point, I think I would just send one note per person rather than one note per gift.  Keep it simple.  :)
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  • iamstephiamsteph member
    100 Comments
    Thanks everyone! I'd rather confuse you all than offend my future family! :)
    Married December 18th, 2010 :)
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