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babies/moms who are BFing

funandfrecklesfunandfreckles member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So, I know the exception to the no kids rule are for new moms who are nursing their infants. I'm perfectly fine with this, as we will have 2 or 3 new moms and babies at our no-kid wedding.

WWYD if one of the new moms you've invited isn't breastfeeding but wants to bring her (3 month) baby?

I'm not worried about it, and I'm not going to be rude and tell her because she's not BFing she can't bring the baby, I'm just genuinely curious if there's a right or wrong answer.
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Re: babies/moms who are BFing

  • brilibby4brilibby4 member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:e3449161-40c4-4c93-bd49-6c0ae99bd5fb">babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, I know the exception to the no kids rule are for new moms who are nursing their infants. I'm perfectly fine with this, as we will have 2 or 3 new moms and babies at our no-kid wedding. WWYD if one of the new moms you've invited isn't breastfeeding but wants to bring her (3 month) baby? I'm not worried about it, and I'm not going to be rude and tell her because she's not BFing she can't bring the baby, I'm just genuinely curious if there's a right or wrong answer.
    Posted by funandfreckles[/QUOTE]

    With a baby that young, I personally would allow it. 
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    There is not an exception to the no kids rule.  You can always say no kids, period, but be prepared for nursing mothers to not come.

    I think that splitting hairs about breastfeeding vs. non breastfeeding mothers of infants is ridiculous.  And liable to touch off a mommy war.
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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    edited August 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:e3449161-40c4-4c93-bd49-6c0ae99bd5fb">babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]So, I know the exception to the no kids rule are for new moms who are nursing their infants. Posted by funandfreckles[/QUOTE]
    No, it's not an automatic exception. If you don't want babies there, don't invite them, with the realization that the mom might not come if she cannot bring her BF'ing infant.

    That said, if you are allowing BF'ing infants, I don't see why you would exclude bottle-fed infants.

    ETA - This is what I get for not reading other replies first - I end up paraphrasing everyone else.
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would let her come, but I invited all kids anyway. But a baby that young is just going to sleep the whole time, so it shouldn't be an issue.
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  • mbuckley85mbuckley85 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    I wouldn't make a big deal about anyone bringing a baby young enough to not need a plate.  I think people who know that children aren't actually invited will have the decency to remove a crying infant if necessary.  Also, I would be slightly annoyed if the mother is back to work already and therefore has some sort of childcare plan.  Its one thing if they are out of work and never have left the infant with anyone, but if they regularly leave the child I don't see why they don't just get a baby sitter.


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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:88507ad1-ec05-43b5-b001-98384ba80176">Re: babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]I wouldn't make a big deal about anyone bringing a baby young enough to not need a plate. <strong> I think people who know that children aren't actually invited will have the decency to remove a crying infant if necessary.</strong>  
    Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]
    I'm going to disagree with you here. People who bring children who aren't actually invited are the ones who <strong>WON'T</strong> remove a crying infant.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It's fine to not invite ANY children, including infants. Like a PP said, it's possible if they are really young, the mother may decline the invite because she doesn't want to leave them home alone; however, that could be said for a 3 or 8 year old child too.

    If you are extending the invitation to all infants, I would include all of them regardless of BF vs. non-BF.


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  • mbuckley85mbuckley85 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:85f35fe3-1f9e-4786-bcf3-73d561b2c339">Re: babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: babies/moms who are BFing : I'm going to disagree with you here. People who bring children who aren't actually invited are the ones who WON'T remove a crying infant.
    Posted by sarabellam[/QUOTE]

    <div>The people that I know, who may bring an infant to a "no children" wedding, would have the decency to remove a crying infant.</div><div>
    </div><div>I agree that someone who tries to bring an actual CHILD to a no children wedding will not have the decency to remove that same loud/crying child if necessary.  </div>
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  • marriedfilingjointlymarriedfilingjointly
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to Re:babies/moms who are BFing:[QUOTE]There is not an exception to the no kids rule.nbsp; You can always say no kids, period, but be prepared for nursing mothers to not come.I think that splitting hairs about breastfeeding vs. non breastfeeding mothers of infants is ridiculous.nbsp; And liable to touch off a mommy war. Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    This.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:827bdea2-c280-411e-9e8a-6946b61d74c2">Re: babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: babies/moms who are BFing : The people that I know, who may bring an infant to a "no children" wedding, would have the decency to remove a crying infant. I agree that someone who tries to bring an actual CHILD to a no children wedding will not have the decency to remove that same loud/crying child if necessary.  
    Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]
    So the entitled parents you know with babies would not act entitled, and the entitled parents you know with children would act entitled? That's curious.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I think for the sake of avoiding melodrama, just let her bring the baby.  I really wanted a no kids wedding myself, but my MOH is a new mother, and would be bringing her infant.  It just was too much of a headache, and too big of a potential for melodrama to explain to everyone else why their children couldn't come, and hers could.

    I decided to risk 3 to 4 kids for 8 to 10 hours vs 8 months of high blood pressure.  I have other stuff to worry about... like everything, gah!  Less than two months!
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  • mbuckley85mbuckley85 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:841d4056-e0ec-4f67-865e-bd767a6981ac">Re: babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: babies/moms who are BFing : So the entitled parents you know with babies would not act entitled, and the entitled parents you know with children would act entitled? That's curious.
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I see a huge difference in someone bringing their 3 month old vs. 3 year old.  Bringing a 3 year old that isn't invited is a very gutsy move vs an infant.  

    </div>
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babiesmoms-who-are-bfing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:9fc94529-9378-4c32-9ace-6bfc13a231c5Post:e2465d6f-3d14-49d5-92d3-2feaa2423cc8">Re: babies/moms who are BFing</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: babies/moms who are BFing : I see a huge difference in someone bringing their 3 month old vs. 3 year old.  Bringing a 3 year old that isn't invited is a very gutsy move vs an infant.  
    Posted by mbuckley85[/QUOTE]
    This isn't true at all.
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