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My FI is working night shift the night before the wedding

so...for everyone who's married, how much time did you need before the wedding for family pictures? He refuses to not go into work the night before because he feels bad...he's so type A. He'll go into work after the rehearsal dinner about 11 and be home in bed by 730 am. Our ceremony starts at 4. If he's up by 130, and showered and at the church by 230, I'm hoping that'll be enough time for family/getting ready pictures. We aren't doing a first look.
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Re: My FI is working night shift the night before the wedding

  • We aren't married yet, but if this helps our ceremony is at 4:00 and the photographer will be at my parents' house at 2:00 for pictures, then at the venue with the guys somewhere around 3:00. That was the time frame he suggested for getting ready photos.
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  • In Response to Re: My FI is working night shift the night before the wedding:
    [QUOTE]We aren't married yet, but if this helps our ceremony is at 4:00 and the photographer will be at my parents' house at 2:00 for pictures, then at the venue with the guys somewhere around 3:00. That was the time frame he suggested for getting ready photos.
    Posted by kroot87[/QUOTE]



    That makes me feel better! Thank you. I don't want him to be too tired, but I want to get all the getting ready pictures without rushing.
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  • I can appreciate your FI's work ethic and all, but seriously?  I wouldn't be too happy with H if he worked the day of our wedding.  What does your FI do that he's unwilling to take off work to get married?

    But to answer your question, it really depends on how your photographer does your day-of schedule.  Our wedding started at 4 also, and had we not done a first look, H wouldn't have had to be ready until about 2:30.  Timing-wise, it could work out okay, but he might look tired in your pictures, which for most people, means looking bored or pissed off.  Not exactly the type of look you want to memorialize on what's supposed to be a happy day.
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  • I also don't think it's ideal, and I wouldn't like that much at all. But if he works that shift a lot and knows how his body will respond, I guess it's up to him.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    To answer your question that would be cutting it close, but doable.


    Is vacation time an issue?  I can't for the life of me think of a reason why he thinks this is a good idea?  I would encourage him to rethink these plans.  I would not fight about it, but gently make him see the light on how this is not a good idea.   I had so much fun with my family and friends at my RD I can't even imagine wanting to leave that high to go to work.  He might be underestimating those feeling with the wedding being so far out.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • As someone that works nights, he's crazy.  On a good day I wake up between 1 and 2, but if I had a rough night/just happen to be tired, etc I can sleep until 3 or 4.  Also, on days I get up before 2 I am never fully rested and always end up going to bed by 10 or 11.  If you guys are planning a late night reception or an after party I would be worried that he might be too tired to really enjoy it. 

    If your fiance has a vacation day he would use, I would encourage him to use it.  FWIW I am getting married on a Sat and am not planning on working the last half of the week that week.
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  • I can sort of understand if he doesn't have the time off available from work, or if it's the busy season in whatever it is that he does.. some people are just super dedicated to their work. If you're okay with it and he's used to his schedule enough that he's not going to be falling asleep at your reception, I think it's NBD. FI will probably work the day/night before our wedding - although he doesn't work a night shift. The time off after the wedding is what's really most important to me. However, if it DOES bother you, you should ask him to reconsider.
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  • In Response to Re: My FI is working night shift the night before the wedding:
    [QUOTE]I can appreciate your FI's work ethic and all, but seriously?  I wouldn't be too happy with H if he worked the day of our wedding.  What does your FI do that he's unwilling to take off work to get married ? But to answer your question, it really depends on how your photographer does your day-of schedule.  Our wedding started at 4 also, and had we not done a first look, H wouldn't have had to be ready until about 2:30.  Timing-wise, it could work out okay, but he might look tired in your pictures, which for most people, means looking bored or pissed off.  Not exactly the type of look you want to memorialize on what's supposed to be a happy day.
    Posted by jemmini6[/QUOTE]



    I totally agree with you. He works at a railroad, so it's definitely not something he couldn't miss. He has to take time off unpaid for the honeymoon, but they're encouraging him to take a full week. At first, there was some confusion as to whether or not he'd get in trouble for taking that many days off, but it was approved by his direct boss. I think the thought Of him getting in trouble is staying in the back of his mind. I'm going to try to convince him, but I don't know if it's a fight I'll win!
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    While not ideal, I understand wanting to work when you have to take unpaid time off for the HM.

    I would still encourage him to take the night off.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Also, isn't he going to want to spend time with family and friends that have travelled to the wedding?  I'm all for a good work ethic, but you also need to balance that with life needs.  Encourage him takiing the night off or even half the night so he can be in bed by 3am or so.

  • In Response to Re: My FI is working night shift the night before the wedding:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My FI is working night shift the night before the wedding : I totally agree with you. He works at a railroad, so it's definitely not something he couldn't miss. He has to take time off unpaid for the honeymoon, but they're encouraging him to take a full week. At first, there was some confusion as to whether or not he'd get in trouble for taking that many days off, but it was approved by his direct boss. I think the thought Of him getting in trouble is staying in the back of his mind. I'm going to try to convince him, but I don't know if it's a fight I'll win!
    Posted by BrittneyRN[/QUOTE]
    Ok if his time off is unpaid I understand a little better where he is coming from.  Is there anyone at work that he might be able to switch shifts with, ie offer to work that day shift for someone in exchange for them working that night for him?
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  • Ditto PP's - it's great that he has such a strong work ethic, but it's your wedding for crying out loud. 
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  • I would encourage him to take the night off.   I was sitting for the bar exam and working at a small retail store when I got married.  I had wanted to work until the day before and my boss refused to let me do that.  I am so grateful that she didn't put ome on the schedule because of how much running around I wound up doing the day before.  I would have been dead on my feet on the wedding day if not for her.
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  • We're getting married at 11am, photog is coming to do girls for 9:30, going to church to do guys for 10:20. Depends on how many pictures you want and what style - ie: posed? capturing the guys hanging out doing some sort of activity (I've seen golf and pool before)? very different time lines.
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  • I hope if you ever decide to have kids that you don't go into labor before his shift is about to start. Sounds like you'll be driving yourself to the hospital.

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