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Parents

Jessi2011Jessi2011 member
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in Chit Chat
So I'm having problems with my parents and the wedding date that is set.  Everyone I talk to (other family and friends) are overjoyed by the fact that I'm getting married.  My fiancee and I have chosen next september as the date.  That makes 3 years for us being together and 3 is like our lucky number, so perfect right?  For some strange reason my dad wants us to wait until 2012...he won't give us a reason.  But he's being a jerk about it and turned my mom against us getting married next year.  With the family and friends that I have talked to about this situtation they say do what makes us happy or do what feels right.  If we do what we want to do then it may cause problems at my home.  I feel like it's not my dad decision to choose our wedding date and that he should just accept the fact that his little girl is getting married and let us get married next year or I can just go with what he wants and let Curtis and me be very unhappy. I don't know what to do, it's a lot more complicated than this but this is just the basis of the situation.  HELPCry
~Jessi~
~Curtis and Jessi~
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Re: Parents

  • jelique7jelique7
    500 Comments
    try sitting down with your dad and see why 2012 is so important to him...but IMO the final choice is your decision...maybe there is a reason you don't realize so try talking to him and then explain why next year is so important to you..im sure everything will work out they just want you to be happy so hopefully they will support you whatever date you chose
    good luck
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  • vegasgroomvegasgroom mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    The more someone tries to influence my decision, the less likely I am to change my decision; I'd go with next year, your dad can get over it. :)

    Married in Vegas - June 2011


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  • luckyme502luckyme502 member
    1000 Comments

    I'd try talking to your dad and if that doesn't work, do what you want.  I am guessing you are still relatively young, or I don't think this would bother you, or your dad that much.  I'm 32 and FI is 34.  We told our parents the date we were getting married, it wasn't a discussion. 

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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a43b64e7-14a5-43dc-9218-d6b63960c3e4Post:404a0f0b-955b-46bb-93f0-65bdfa3f0a46">Parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I'm having problems with my parents and the wedding date that is set.  Everyone I talk to (other family and friends) are overjoyed by the fact that I'm getting married.  My fiancee and I have chosen next september as the date.  That makes 3 years for us being together and 3 is like our lucky number, so perfect right?  For some strange reason my dad wants us to wait until 2012...he won't give us a reason.  But he's being a jerk about it and turned my mom against us getting married next year.  With the family and friends that I have talked to about this situtation they say do what makes us happy or do what feels right.  If we do what we want to do then it may cause problems at my home.  I feel like it's not my dad decision to choose our wedding date and that he should just accept the fact that his little girl is getting married and let us get married next year or I can just go with what he wants and let Curtis and me be very unhappy. I don't know what to do, it's a lot more complicated than this but this is just the basis of the situation.  HELP ~Jessi~
    Posted by Jessi2011[/QUOTE]


    How old are you?  Are you still in school? Will you (and your FI) have jobs that will enable you to support yourselves next year?

    There has to be a reason that your dad has reservations and wants you to wait.  I'm guessing age and/or education.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    1000 Comments
    edited July 2010
    Do you expect them to pay for your wedding? Maybe they want to save up the money and thats why they want you to wait.  Maybe they think your to young or maybe they think your just having a phase and you and your FI will break up. There are to many what ifs in this situation. If you want to get married get married . I agree lucky me . My parents didn't have a decision on my wedding date . I just told them what day it was.
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:a43b64e7-14a5-43dc-9218-d6b63960c3e4Post:404a0f0b-955b-46bb-93f0-65bdfa3f0a46">Parents</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I'm having problems with my parents and the wedding date that is set.  Everyone I talk to (other family and friends) are overjoyed by the fact that I'm getting married.  My fiancee and I have chosen next september as the date.  That makes 3 years for us being together and 3 is like our lucky number, so perfect right?  For some strange reason my dad wants us to wait until 2012...he won't give us a reason.  But he's being a jerk about it and turned my mom against us getting married next year.  With the family and friends that I have talked to about this situtation they say do what makes us happy or do what feels right.  If we do what we want to do then it may cause problems at my home.  I feel like it's not my dad decision to choose our wedding date and that he should just accept the fact that his little girl is getting married and let us get married next year or I can just go with what he wants and let Curtis and me be very unhappy. I don't know what to do, it's a lot more complicated than this but this is just the basis of the situation.  HELP ~Jessi~
    Posted by Jessi2011[/QUOTE]

    Are you both still in school? Are you living in your parent's home, and your fiance in his parent's home?  Do you both have a steady income?  Are you thinking about buying a house?

    About the wedding planning, who's paying - are your parents? If they are, then they are entitled to make some decisions.  Are you both paying for your wedding?

    Answer those questions first, and then have a sit down with your parents.

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • jenn.danieljenn.daniel
    2500 Comments
    I'm also going to guess this is about age/education.  I think there's more to this story that you're not telling us.  Please share so we can give more specific suggestions.
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  • Jessi2011Jessi2011 member
    First Comment
    I will be 21 (almost 22) when I get married and he will be 24...he has a full time job, bought a house and a car to prove to my parents that he can support me.  His job even has an excellent insurance.  I won't be graduating until a that december or may, and then off to physical therapy school for me.  My dad feels like we are going behind his back and we feel that he is telling us when we can get married and that is NOT how it goes.  They should be happy for us, I mean they LOVE LOVE LOVE Curtis so I just don't understand.
    ~Curtis and Jessi~
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