Illinois-Chicago

Sex before the wedding?

Hey ladies! So, I thought I'd liven up the boards today since it is hump day and I'm bored!

I've heard that some couples decide not to have sex during the month or so leading up to the wedding to make the consumation of the marriage a little bit more exciting, assuming of course that you are already having sex.
 
Have you and your FI talked about doing this and are you planning to? Why/why not?

Re: Sex before the wedding?

  • jbll326jbll326 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    FI and I just talked about it last night and i'm not sure what we'll do yet.

    Since we live together, I thought it might be a good idea. Then I was thinking that with all the stress I'm anticipating in the few weeks before the wedding, I may need to relax a little bit :)

  • ladybug7485ladybug7485 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LOL it's hilarious that you posted this because FI and I were just talking about this the other day...
    We're going to do like a month or maybe a little more sex free. It's not like I think anything will be any more surprising but for some reason I think it may be nice for it to be a little more exciting or "new".
    FI is totally against it (of course) but whatev, I think it will build suspense, especially after giving him a book of budoir pics the night before the wedding.

    mwahahaha
  • Sparkette19Sparkette19 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Funny story relative to this topic. We're getting married in the Catholic Church so we recently had to go through our FOCCUS appointment. Basically, it's a survey that each of you take seperately and meet with an advising couple to discuss your answers. We had our meeting a few weeks ago and at the end of it the husband said "We acknowledge that you two are already living together and for financial reasons you probably won't live seperately. However, since this is looked down upon the eyes of the Church, can you two do that "brother sister" thing until your wedding night?"

    I almost died! Even when I told my parish priest that we were living together he didn't say anything about it. It creeped me out so much! Now I think it's funny.

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  • edited December 2011
    I have thought about it but haven't talked to FI yet...pretty sure he won't be too happy with that one!
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  • edited December 2011
    laughing about the brother sister thing OMG
    i think the catholic church is so sneaky about making people take separate surveys and comparing answers for validity's sake to point out truth and lies.
    oh the catholic guilt!
  • edited December 2011
    I wanted to do this so I brought it up to my fiance.  He thought I was joking! :)  I started with 6 months, he said no way.  He then said 1 month and I said ok, how about 3.  So we are going to stop 3 months before the wedding.  I know it's going to be tough, but I work, go to grad school, am planning a charity fund raiser and planning a wedding all before the big day.  We will probably be too busy anyway!

    Wish me luck!
  • lmb5109lmb5109 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We did a month before the wedding. Of course we were tired on the wedidng night (and a little drunk!), but we made up for it in the morning and the whole week of the honeymoon :-)
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  • edited December 2011
    OMG, Sparkette, you just sent me into a tizzy with that quote! The "Brother/Sister thing"...ha ha ha.

    FI and I haven't even discussed it because we're not considering it. Too much stress before the wedding, and well...umm....I like our idea of stress-relief! :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I cannot possibly begin to understand the point of that.
  • pajarito81pajarito81 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we discussed doing a year ,...but that definitely hasn't happened so far..but its definitely cut down a lot perhaps we'll make it more exciting after 6 months..who knows..
    haha..
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  • mbuhpathimbuhpathi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i guess it depends on how religious you are.
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm going to go ahead and say that the night before is all I'm willing to give up!  Wink  I'll be at the hotel and he'll be at home, so it should be easy to keep to that promise. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm planning on just the opposite. I am going to have sex with my wonderful FI as much as possible leading up to the big day. I did this last year, we did it 9 times in one week. We don't even live together, so we maximized the weekends and the few nights (and mornings:)  we were able to see each other during the week. 
    We did actually spend a few more nights together than usual that week.

    In fact I promised him we would do it leading up to the wedding. :)
     
    Man it was fun, and created this incredible bonding and closeness between us. I think that will be great leading up to the wedding.  The planning and last minute stuff is very stressful and I cannot think of a better way to beat the stress, and feel incredibly close leading up to the big day.
    It's also very good for your health and his.



  • edited December 2011
    Day after Valentine's Day, six weeks before the wedding.  Wish us luck!
  • edited December 2011
    I say, no way! There is no reason for me to do this, or to put my FI through this. We love each other and we don't want to start making rules to do this or that. I say get it on and have fun!!!
  • jbll326jbll326 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    LOL! I love these responses! AlphaBride, I think I'm in your camp! I think I'll need the stress relief for sure! maybe a few days before, but not much more than that :)

    And the Brother/Sister thing had me cracking up all day!
  • edited December 2011
    The responses are hilarious. We didn't plan to not have sex but the weeks leading up to the wedding we definitely slowed down because of all the work we were doing planning. Then on the wedding night we were so tired, and O.K., drunk too that neither of us had the energy.

    But we made up for that on our honeymoon.  :)
  • edited December 2011
    Yes Ladies, this is a fun post. I respect all your wishes to do what ever works for you and wish all of you the best of luck!!
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