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Bride wants big shower

Re: Bride wants big shower

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes.  You thank her for her input, and then throw the shower you can afford.

    You are under NO obligation to do what she's hinting at.  In fact, you're under no obligation to even throw a shower.

    GL with this though.  She sounds like she could be pretty high maintenance.

    ETA:  I didn't look at your poll before posting.  (I don't do polls.)  But after glancing at it: 

    A) the bride does NOT pay for her own shower.  That's in very poor taste and completely beyond accepted standards of etiquette.

     B) You do not bill the WP for a shower in which they had no input.  You ask the rest of the WP if they're interested in co-hosting, and then plan the shower with the budget that everyone can afford.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, the bride does not pay for her own shower. Whoever is hosting can ask from help from other family members and BM's, but should not expect anything. If she decided to host it, then she pays. Of course, she should host a shower within her means and what she can afford.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why was that deleted?  You got good answers, and helpful advice.  Because you're new, I'd like to explain that DDing (dirty deleting) a post is considered very poor netiquette.  Not a good way to start.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why the DD?
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Why is everyone DDing all of a sudden?

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  • AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The only logical thing I can think of is the Bride browses/posts on theKnot. But OP ditto to what trix said, you throw the party that YOU can afford. My best friend's shower was hosted by a family friend and she was told she only had X amount a people she could invite. Did my friend throw a tantrum? No, she understood that she was not the hostess and was just happy that she had a shower.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wants-big-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:8ad82d81-5f1d-4ef7-a4bd-b29d04f1ea1ePost:5a3d60bf-3e01-4970-a4c5-1f73a8477ed4">Re: Bride wants big shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]Why is everyone DDing all of a sudden?
    Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

    I am wondering the same thing.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The bride shouldn't pay for or plan her shower. You and the co-hosts should decide how much you can afford to spend on this shower and how many guests you can invite. You should tell the bride you need a list with X number of guests. The shower is a gift, not an entitlement.


                       
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  • mgietler76mgietler76 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wants-big-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:8ad82d81-5f1d-4ef7-a4bd-b29d04f1ea1ePost:6775d418-a412-4294-9fe6-ef2235c89a51">Re: Bride wants big shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]The only logical thing I can think of is the Bride browses/posts on theKnot. Posted by AutumnFair[/QUOTE]

    This is the only thing I could think of as well. In that case I would suggest the OP state she is planning on deleting and ask that nobody quote her. Otherwise it's just annoying.
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  • garcias1garcias1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am hoping the DD is for the reasons posted.  In that case, OP, think of a shower like planning a wedding.  If you were a bride, everyone on here would tell you to plan a wedding you can afford.  The same holds true for showers.  If other members of the WP can contribute, great.  If not, plan a small shower with immediate family and very close friends.  A shower is a gift to the bride (not a God-given right), and you shouldn't break the bank to give it to her.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Everyone needs to stop getting bent out of shape over every DD.  I understand if the OP posts a bad idea, and then is rude to the responders, and then DDs everything.  That's annoying.  But it seemed pretty plain to me that the bride probably posts on TK so she DD'd to prevent her from seeing it.  10 people then calling her out for it is just bullying behaviour.  There are times to call it out, and times to not call it out.  This isn't worth calling it out.
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  • StephieBowStephieBow member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The bride should not pay for her own shower.  You figure out your budget and explain to her that that is what you can afford.

    In my case, the shower will be big (as I would prefer to only have one) but my mom kindly offered to pay for all the food/drinks and the MOH/BMs are responsible for planning the event, deciding on games etc.  This way everyone is involved and there is no panic over costs. 

    There are ways around things, it's just a matter of sitting down and being honest about it and figuring out what you can afford to do and making sure the bride understands what's happening.
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