Church Fee

Kristinf81 · December 2009

Hello all! This is my first post to the message boards since I just got engaged last week! My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and have finally decided to take the leap.

We already know what church we want to get married in, but I was shocked to see how expensive it was to reserve since we are not members. Has anyone ever negotiated a Church Fee? Is this completely unacceptable and tacky? I don't want to offend the pastor or anyone by discussing the price with them.

Any thoughts would be great!

Mrs.B6302007 · December 2009

Welcome to the boards fellow Knight.

ThePinkSuperhero · December 2009

I am on the board at my church, and currently, I'm in charge of booking weddings (we're between pastors). For me, I'd probably find negotation on the fee tacky, unless there was a seriously good motivation (somebody has health issues, somebody is going into the military, etc.) How much is the fee?

ootmother2 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5c5a434-787f-40df-9355-bdcf23982589Post:00ce94a1-e23f-40e5-a7ce-289c7ea7ad19">Church Fee</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello all! This is my first post to the message boards since I just got engaged last week! My fiance and I have been together for 5 years and have finally decided to take the leap. We already know what church we want to get married in, but I was shocked to see how expensive it was to reserve since we are not members. Has anyone ever negotiated a Church Fee? Is this completely unacceptable and tacky? I don't want to offend the pastor or anyone by discussing the price with them. Any thoughts would be great!
Posted by Kristinf81[/QUOTE]

No church fee. Catholic church on Cape Cod in season and the only fee was for the soloist/organist.

beat that

Kristinf81 · December 2009

The fee is $1400 plus $200 for the pastor and $300 for the organist. I have always had my heart set on this church so I am gonna try to make it work even at the regular price. I kind of thought this might be one of the places where negotiating wouldn't fly though.

ThePinkSuperhero · December 2009

If you have your heart set on one specific church, you may have to suck it up. We (and by we, I mean I, lol) don't give discounts on weddings (although if you wanted to get married during our regular Sunday service, I believe that would be reduced if not totally free). As oot said above, some churches don't charge at all.

BecW2be · December 2009

You're going to negotiate with GOD?!? Good luck with that!

Just kidding. That is a bit steep, though. And why on earth is the organist more expensive than the flipping pastor? That seems weird to me. He's the one you need!

Good luck!

mwhitson14 · December 2009

Wow, $1700?! Our non member fee is $500 plus a donation to the pastor for his services.

May I ask, why do you have your heart set on that church if you are not a member of it? We chose our church because it was the church we have attended for the past 5 years and it meant a lot to us. We've only had one non-member wedding there, as far as I can remember, and it was actually an Indian wedding. They picked us because we are the largest in their area (they had like 800 guests!).

And to answer your questions, I wouldn't try to negotiate. The price we charge is based on how much money it costs to run the electricity for the very large building, use of the very large reception hall, plus all the decorations and cooking equipment (tw convection ovens, pots, plans, platters, cake plates, serving sets, etc) you can use, and all tables, chairs, etc.

ThePinkSuperhero · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_church-fee?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d5c5a434-787f-40df-9355-bdcf23982589Post:ae812ee5-b7b3-4802-85fe-36ccf17023cf">Re: Church Fee</a>:
[QUOTE]And why on earth is the organist more expensive than the flipping pastor? That seems weird to me. He's the one you need! Good luck!
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Organists make a buttload of money! You should see the salary guidelines from their guild- they DO make more than pastors!

ThePinkSuperhero · December 2009

I found the link to the salary guidelines online- check it out! Wish I knew how to play the organ.

http://www.agohq.org/profession/indexsalary.html

skippylouwho · December 2009

You can always ask if there is anything that can be done or that you can do to reduce the fees. You might ask if there are services you could waive etc. For example, if you don't use dressing rooms at the church or if you have someone sweep and clean before and after rehearsal and/or wedding. Fees obviously can vary greatly by church but to give you something to compare to see below.

Be sure you know who supplies candles for the ceremony, are rice/birdseed/bubbles/balloons permitted? When can your florist decorate, can you have an aisle runner and are there restrictions on it. Are any of the fees refundable, when are they due? When do you have to have your license to the church office, some require 48 or 72 hours in advance. Do you have to participate in counseling with the pastor.   Can you use your own pastor (who might be cheaper). Are there restrictions on decorations, music, attire for you and the bridal party, photography/videography. Are there mirrors in the dressing room? Food/drinks permitted there?

The fees for the church we belong to and for a church we occasionally attend (closer to home, same denomination) are:

Our church
non-member     member
$300                 $50 fee for sanctuary and 2 dressing rooms
$150                 your discretion (fee for officating pastor)
$150                 $150 wedding coordinator (supplied by church)
$100                 $100 custodial services (before/after rehearsal, before/after wedding)
$150                 $150 sound operator
$850                 $450 total (plus fee to pastor) $850 non-member includes pastor's fee

Other church
non-member    member
$400                 no charge - Sanctuary use
$150                 $150 2 dressing rooms(refunded if rooms left clean and no damage, no food/drink/smoking permitted)
$250                 your discretion (pastor, if at church
$350                 your discretion (pastor if at another site)
$125                 $125 wedding coordinator
$125                 $125 organist*
the total here could vary but using the pastor at the church and if the fee for the dressing rooms is refunded it would be
$850                $250 plus fee to pastor

*you work out fee w/organist at our church. Other church requires $25 fee for each rehearsal with organist and your soloist.

I hope this is helpful and not boring or annoying.

BecW2be · December 2009

That's nuts* Pink! Unless she could play the hockey/baseball CHARGE! at part of my prelude music, I'd really probably not be interested. Do you have to use the organist, OP? Or can you substitute pre-recorded?

*I shoulda stuck with that damn piano/organ teacher when I was 8. A few more years and I could make $300 a pop to play for people's weddings.

tlv204 · December 2009

That's about how much we paid for a church we don't attend. For us, H had been moving around a lot and wasn't attached to a particular church, but knew he wanted a Catholic ceremony, so we just picked a large pretty one that was in a convenient place. I was also shocked at how much it cost, but the church we used actually recently has a very small congregation, and is used for non-member weddings almost every weekend, so I guess they could afford to charge it. I don't know anyone who has tried to negotiate a church fee, so I'm not much help on that, but for some reason I have a feeling it wouldnt' work.

Kristinf81 · December 2009

Thanks so much for the advice... I think I will stay on God's good side and pay what they are asking for.

mags0607 · December 2009

I think that might be the smart thing to just pay the fees. It does make me feel better that we are not the only ones paying a ridiculous amount for a church though. Our is $1500 (non-member) for the church $200 for the mandatory wedding coordinator $300 for the mandatory organist $100 for the janitor and alter servers, then you have to find a priest to officiate. Its a huge chunk of change, but it was importnant to us.

SpookieCat · December 2009

I ran into a lot of trouble finding a church as well - in the end we found a solution that works well for our budget but I've now vowed to never enter my home church again. Sad no? I sang in the choir there every week for 15 years, went away to university for 4 years, came back to a new priest, and I wasn't welcome to use the church as a member.

I had to come in as a guest unless if I could attend weekly for the next year. Unfortunately I work every Saturday and Sunday so that wasn't really flying. Got told off by the new priest for living with my FI, for not attending mass weekly (told me I shouldn't get hit by a bus or I would go to Hell), and for not observing the day of rest. Way to make a person feel welcome.

Luckily FI's Mom sings at another parish in our city so we will be getting married there. It's not where I thought I would be getting married (considering I sang and played the flute at probably 40 weddings at my church) but for $275 compared to $1250 it's not the end of the world. And I like their priest. Some things aren't meant to be.

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