Thank you cards sent at different times?

StephJean83 · September 2012

Is it customary to send out thank you cards at different times? Like you write out and mail 50 one week, than write another 50 and another until all of your cards are done? I ask because I don't know if I should feel slighted by a couple or just wait and see if they are still working on their thank you cards. My FH and our roommate went to college together and are still friends with a large group of other college buddies(they were in a fraternity together). We attended a wedding about a month ago and last week the couple had mailed out some thank yous(I don't know how many but I know they sent some out), our roommate has received his but we have not. My FH and I gave a gift and card with just our names on it and our roommate gave a gift and card with his name on it. I figured there could be some lag time since the couple addressed our roommates thank you to our old address but he received his card on Monday. I know that it couldn't have come in the mail, my FH grabbed it and never showed it to me because I am the one with the mail key.

misssunshine17 · September 2012

I honestly don't know from a E standpoint, but could you maybe do them in groups? Like do all of your family & send them, then FI's family, then friends so that generally the people who are connected will get them around the same time. I think it's fine as long as it's within a reasonable timeframe, not like two months later.

achiduck · September 2012

I wouldn't worry too much about it, the mail is weird. We mailed all of our invitations on the same day and some people were telling us the got them three days later and some people who live 1 hour away got them AFTER the invitations that were mailed to Europe.

StephJean83 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-cards-sent-at-different-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5bb02170-5239-4466-9d4c-5f95123ebd65Post:618850e4-8353-4e38-be89-0ee9e19e5df9">Re: Thank you cards sent at different times?</a>:
[QUOTE]I honestly don't know from a E standpoint, but could you maybe do them in groups? Like do all of your family & send them, then FI's family, then friends so that generally the people who are connected will get them around the same time. I think it's fine as long as it's within a reasonable timeframe, not like two months later.
Posted by misssunshine17[/QUOTE]

I could if they did them in groups that some of the friends who received their thank yous already because the bride is sisters with the wife of a different "brother" but our roommate and us would fall in the same group of "friends". Every other time he receives something and we receive it too, STDs/Invites/Christmas Cards from mutual friends, it comes the same day(with the one exception of my FH not changing his address when we moved and a wedding invite was RTS). I just wasn't sure what the etiquette on mailing them is or if it is something that I could feel slighted about but by no means holding it against them when we mail our Christmas Cards this year or send our STDs/Invites in a couple years.

cevans11 · September 2012

If you shipped the gift, double check the tracking (if you haven't already) to make sure the couple received it. My SIL was feeling a little slighted that she never got a thank you from a cousin, and I did. Turns out, UPS lost the gift.

Avion22 · September 2012

We mailed ours when we got the gifts. So, for gifts received before the wedding, we sent them 2-3 at a time as gifts arrived. After the wedding weekend, I sent out a few batches of maybe 20ish each, a few days apart (I sent them out as soon as I wrote them). Then I sent out a few onesy-twosy after the wedding as a few more gifts trickled in.

I wouldn't worry about sending them all out at once -- it's not worth delaying sending any of them out just to wait until you've written them ALL. Plus, even if you DID send them all out at once, there's no guarantee that they would all arrive at the same time.

Peledreamsofrain · September 2012

I think someone who is offended by a slight time difference in delivery time is someone who is looking for ways to get offended anyway. As long as the delay isn't months apart, it's no big deal. Depending on the size of the wedding, there might be a lot of cards to write, and a lot of postage to buy. If the couple has to wait fir the next payvheck to afford the next batch of postage, there's no reason for anyone to get their noses bent out of shape.

StephJean83 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-cards-sent-at-different-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5bb02170-5239-4466-9d4c-5f95123ebd65Post:7689f75a-f5b1-4957-9b84-f25d0eca4675">Re: Thank you cards sent at different times?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you shipped the gift, double check the tracking (if you haven't already) to make sure the couple received it. My SIL was feeling a little slighted that she never got a thank you from a cousin, and I did. Turns out, UPS lost the gift.
Posted by cevans11[/QUOTE]

We attended the wedding and per my FH tradition with his friends gave them cash in a card. Unless they lost a bunch of cards or had stuff stolen(which you'd think we would have heard about), they should have received it. Had it been something we shipped, I would track the sh!t of out if just because I'm paranoid about stuff like that but I didn't think anything of it with us bringing the card with cash to the reception.

stantokm · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-cards-sent-at-different-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5bb02170-5239-4466-9d4c-5f95123ebd65Post:b2d19b48-3dca-4b61-a0cc-f0947a6c3d5e">Re: Thank you cards sent at different times?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's pretty normal for them to go out at different times. For DH and I, it was a <strong>priority to get them out first to our older relatives and to people who gave checks and cash so they'd know that their cards had been received.</strong> From there, I had a big pile of cards that I just worked through a few at a time. That meant one person got their thank you a week after our wedding, but her daughter didn't get hers until three weeks later. Depending on the size of the wedding, this could take even longer. I wouldn't worry.
Posted by kwitherington[/QUOTE]

That is a very good idea (prioritizing the thank you notes). I gave a check for a wedding on 8/26; it was deposited on 8/29, but I still haven't received any acknowledgement in the form of a thank you. Same thing with gift cards; I was the only one to bring a gift or a card to a wedding on 9/8 (bride said no gifts because we had to pay for our own reception meals), put the card right in the bride's hands and haven't heard a peep from her about it since. I even was at her house for a baby shower the next day and she didn't say anything then, either.

lyndausvi · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-cards-sent-at-different-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5bb02170-5239-4466-9d4c-5f95123ebd65Post:1d916cf5-c030-4b76-988a-8d00ade58184">Re:Thank you cards sent at different times?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think someone who is offended by a slight time difference in delivery time is someone who is looking for ways to get offended anyway. As long as the delay isn't months apart, it's no big deal. Depending on the size of the wedding, there might be a lot of cards to write, and a lot of postage to buy. If the couple has to wait fir the next payvheck to afford the next batch of postage, there's no reason for anyone to get their noses bent out of shape.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>This.</div><div>
</div><div>It's been a month since their wedding. Don't start getting upset at this yet. Geez.</div><div>
</div><div>BTW - I sent out 5 invitations to the exact same address on the exact same day. One showed up 2 days later. A few days later another. A week later another. A few days after that the rest. I was so sick fo my MIL calling every day asking why I didn't send all of them out on the same day when in fact I did.</div><div>
</div><div>relax.</div>

s-aries8990 · September 2012

Maybe they're going through a few cards at a time? I'm sure they have a huge stack of cards and gifts that they have to write for. Give them another week or two and then just give them a quick call to make sure they still have the card if you haven't recieved the TY by then. It's only been 3 day since your roomie go it.

lyndausvi · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-you-cards-sent-at-different-times?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5bb02170-5239-4466-9d4c-5f95123ebd65Post:874eb251-5708-44f2-acce-f3441d1c44b0">Re: Thank you cards sent at different times?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Thank you cards sent at different times? : That is a very good idea (prioritizing the thank you notes). I gave a check for a wedding on 8/26; it was deposited on 8/29, but I still haven't received any acknowledgement in the form of a thank you. Same thing with gift cards; I was the only one to bring a gift or a card to a wedding on 9/8 <strong>(bride said no gifts because we had to pay for our own reception meals)</strong>, put the card right in the bride's hands and haven't heard a peep from her about it since. I even was at her house for a baby shower the next day and she didn't say anything then, either.
Posted by stantokm[/QUOTE]

<div>Well I doubt any bride who makes their guest pay for their own meal is really up on TY note etiquette. I won't hold my breath on getting one at all.</div>

Cortney1982 · September 2012

Well it's only been a month. I know people say up to a year is acceptable, but I give it 3 months max. I'm still waiting on my thank you card for the wedding my husband and I attended nearly two months ago. We went out of our way to buy a nice gift even though we were low on funds that month from moving, drove nearly two hours to get there, and did a lot of clean up for them. I won't hold my breath though, they were tacky enough to do a dollar dance and not have enough seating for everybody at the ceremony.

Anyways, if it was a large wedding and they had 250 thank you's to write out, spent 5 minutes on each writing them out, addressing them and putting postage on them that is almost 21 hours of work you got to squeeze in on your normal schedule.

Avion22 · September 2012

Yeah, my mom always taught me to send the thank-you note the same day as the check is deposited -- if you really want the money in your bank account, then you'd better write quickly! Also, it makes sure that the note is received shortly after the check clears.

Kate61487 · September 2012

I'd give it a few more weeks. They may be writting TYs as they open cards/gifts to make sure they don't miss someone and as a result it may take them some time to get to yours. If you reach the 3 months mark without hearing anything I might mention it to the bride or groom just to make sure they received it (since you know they were writing TYs and didn't just ignore them completely).

We intentionally held all our TYs until we could mail them all out at once, but it was mostly just to have a good way to double check that we hadn't missed anyone and we mailed them on our 1 month anniversary. If it took longer than that to write them I might have started sending them anyway, just so they weren't all late.

Jen4948 · October 2012

I agree, thank-you notes should be written as soon as possible after the wedding. But I'd allow a little more time after the wedding than two weeks after the honeymoon. That's an awfully tight deadline when people have just returned from a major trip, have to return to work, maybe move into and set up a new house, etc., especially if there are lots of notes that have to be written.

I'd say either a month to six weeks after the wedding itself if there is no honeymoon, or after the honeymoon, should suffice for thank-you notes.

Thank you cards sent at different times?

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