African American Weddings

Am I Wrong? *Long Vent*

On the day of the wedding, we will be taking our pix before the ceremony. We've said that since day 1. So, Babe was on the phone with his new BM {his brother can't make it to town} this morning. The BM wants to know what time he needs to be there because he "has a lot going on that day." Ok, you've been knowing about "that day" for a LONG time now! So, nothing should be going on "that day" other than you being a BM! Anywho, I tell Babe that I want to start taking pix at 1pm. Take pix from 1pm-4pm. That way, we can chill from 4pm-5pm, before the ceremony. {Ceremony starts at 5pm.} Babe thinks 1pm is too early. BUT, we're not taking pix on location. We will be taking pix at different places in downtown Houston, so I think 3 hrs is a good amount of time.

Then BM says it's rude because his "date" will have to drive herself there instead of him picking her up. 1st of all, who the HELL is this uninvited date? Why didn't you RSVP for her? What is her name so she can have a seat?! He says, "We'll just call her X for now." REALLY?! Well, X gone be looking stupid. AND when I said to bring her with him early, he asks who is she going to talk to? She's not going to know anybody. I said, "It'll be the same if we took pix between the ceremony and the reception. She STILL wouldn't know anybody!"

So, am I tripping? Is 3 hrs too long? Time really flies when taking pix! Should just Babe and I take pix from 1pm-2pm and then everybody else from 2pm-4pm? BUT I thought that the MOH and BM are supposed to be by your side the whole day? Like, wtf?! I really don't know why I'm so irritated at this time, but I really am! At this point, I wouldn't mind calling everything off. I really don't have time for this ish! I have too many other things stressing me out at the time to get to the end of this wedding planning crap and let it start stressing me out, too!

Re: Am I Wrong? *Long Vent*

  • edited December 2011
    BP, no you are not wrong. That date should read wedding and that's it. End of Story!
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  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    OK this new best man might need to be removed from the wedding party!!  He sounds like a problem child!  Does he not realize that this day is not about him or his "Girl X"???? LOL

    Girl, you are not wrong.  3 hours is a good timeframe for pics if you are going to three locations in a downtown metro area.  We are starting pics around 3pm and going until 5:30pm, so we're taking 2.5 hours for ours.  I wish somebody in the WP would complain.

    This BM is lucky that you are even allowing Girl X to come to your wedding!  Ugh, the nerve of some people....

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  • lyar915lyar915 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You are not wrong. He agreed to be BM and should have thought of the responsiblites that come with it. WTH!!! 
  • edited December 2011
    NO you are not wrong. The BM seems real confused and/or clueless about being in a wedding, you may have to "unconfuse" him...but nicely, of course ;-) 
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  • edited December 2011

    Three hours is plenty of time for pics. Once you set  time to drive, park and walk around that will  be 3hrs. #1 when you decided to be a part of the wedding party, your date should already be aware that he or she will be spending most of the day alone. Is she 12 and need a babysitter too? Fi's friend was getting married oot town and he was the bestman, so I stayed home because I knew that most of the day I would be alone, and the wedding was oot so driving would be an issue for me.



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  • edited December 2011
    No you are not wrong and If you need a new Best Man I will be it LOL LOL (just jokes) hell who he thank he is and WHO IS SHE? NOBODY!!!! do yo thang ma'am, that is a good time to do yo pics and if there is time left over then that time could be used to touch up your makeup and just chill. psss the NERVE of ppl. (saying while rolling my neck) smh
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  • chescamchescam member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think the BM needs to get the boot lol. It's your day and you do need that much time for your pics if you want your chill time
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  • edited December 2011
    No...not wrong at all. It seems like he's more concerned with his date than you guys. Thats just my opinion. If he is so concerned with her, he can be with her the entire wedding.......as a guest. Period.

    What is your hubby thinking?
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  • hatroopeshatroopes member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    First of all, you're right - what else ould be possibly have going on that day??? People kill me sometimes! And the nerve of him to even think you and your DH should put the needs of "X" before yourselves on your wedding date! She's not a child - WTH does he mean "who is she going to talk to?" I would speak to DH about seriously reconsidering him as BM 'cos he may not even show up for pictures at this rate, talk less of performing his BM duties!
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  • edited December 2011
    Nope. You're not trippping. We allotted 90-minutes for taking pictures. Ummm...let's just say the first 30-minutes was spent telling people to "come here", "wait there", "don't do that:, "don't leave", "stand there"...

    You'll need the entire time so NO, you're not tripping. He's the one tripping by making you have to deal with this. A BM should cause you and hubby less stress not more stress!
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  • sheshedukeshesheduke member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    WOWZIERS! Hecks no you are not tripping. Tell him to fall in line or get left behind. What does Pastor Babe have to say? Did he put him in his place yet? Don't stress over it seriously you are less than 1 month away and you surely don't need someone or something so minor to derail your train. Just breathe tell him these are the times you set and let it go.
  • lsk40lsk40 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Im sorry you do not take a date to a wedding it should be someone you have been with for awhile I feel like he is having a night out on you guys and he would'nt tell you her name that's crazy what kind of BM is he I would have told him not to worry about the pics because he is no longer in the wedding
  • island07b2bisland07b2b member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    What in the hay?  Ummm...why should you care about the BM's date?  That's his issue.  Do what you want to do.  It's your wedding.  And, no.  Three hours is not too long for taking pixies.  You will need every bit of that time.  That BM is a mess by the way. 



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