Gift check bounced. Should I say something?

missy41222 · June 2012

I received a check as a wedding gift from a cousin and her husband who couldn't attend our wedding due to attending a different out-of-state wedding the same day. Their teenage daughter wasn't traveling with them, so she was able to attend our wedding.

I just found out that the check they gave us bounced. The bank said the check was for a closed account. I appreciate that they decided to give us a gift even thought most of the family didn't attend our wedding, but I'd be lying if I wasn't a little disappointed that the check bounced, and our bank has charged us a fee for attempting to cash the check.

Family is more way more important than money, but I'm not sure what if anything I should do. Do you think I should say something?

Maggie0829 · June 2012

Yes. If I were the people that gave you that check I would want to know that it bounced. They may not even know about their account and that something is wrong.

MattsPenguin · June 2012

Do you know them well enough to know that they are having money issues? On one hand, you don't want to bring up a very bad subject. But what if they picked up the wrong checkbook, and it was a total accident?

If you aren't comfortable saying anything, then I wouldn't. If they think that they wrote you a valid check and are good at their bookkeeping, they might ask you why you haven't cashed it?

achiduck · June 2012

That's awkward. If it were an active acocunt they would get see on their banking profile (or statement) that the cheque bounced but since it's a closed account I would probably send an e-mail thanking them and letting them know that it bounced. It was probably just an oversight on their part and they'll likely correct the mistake but all the same I wouldn't ask them to send you a new cheque.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

If it's a closed account, maybe they still had some old checks and accidentally gave you one of those.

littlestbee · June 2012

I would let it go. Money is a very tricky subject. I am sure they know that the check bounced, all banks are required to inform the writer of a bad check. Save yourself from a super awkward conversation, and chalk it up to a misunderstanding. Its only money.

aragx6 · June 2012

I just don't think, no matter how much sense it might make, I could tell a family member that their check bounced. That conversation seems so awkward to me as to make it not at all worth it.

I didn't know banks charged a fee for the person who tries to cash the check though -- that just seems ass backwards to me.

Kate61487 · June 2012

I would say something; I'm sure we have old checkbooks lying around for the accounts we closed when we merged everything, and I'd want to know.

speaking of I should probably find and shred those....

QueerFemme · June 2012

I would say something also. It doesn't have to be "hey, your dang check bounced... can you please another and pay us back for the fees we incurred?"

You could even send an email and say something like

"Dear Aunt & Uncle. thank you so much for the generous gift you gave us for our wedding. I missed seeing you at the wedding! I wanted to let you know, that our bank advised us that the check you wrote to us was not cashable because it was written on a closed account. I wanted to mention it to you, just in case there is some mistake at the bank. Hope you are doing well !"

tpender13 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gift-check-bounced-should-i-say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:49140da8-421a-4da3-8cf7-972c8f5c8d42Post:f8d4dd4a-1572-4e44-a8d1-98852c64b708">Re: Gift check bounced. Should I say something?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say something also. It doesn't have to be "hey, your dang check bounced... can you please another and pay us back for the fees we incurred?" You could even send an email and say something like "Dear Aunt & Uncle. thank you so much for the generous gift you gave us for our wedding. I missed seeing you at the wedding! I wanted to let you know, that our bank advised us that the check you wrote to us was not cashable because it was written on a closed account. I wanted to mention it to you, just in case there is some mistake at the bank. Hope you are doing well !"
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I think something along these lines would be a good idea. Or, do you still have the check? If you do, I would send a thank you, mentioning that the check wasn't cashable and you wanted to send it back to them in case they needed it for their records.

rsaleh84 · June 2012

I sort of agree about mentioning it, only because you are obligated to give Thank You cards, and in the card you would mention the gift, which in this case didn't actually work out. I guess it's the thought that counts. Maybe if you talked to your parents about your uncle/aunt's situation, they could give you some insight as to what may have happened? I don't know if I would ever feel comfortable talking to any of my aunts or uncles about their financial situation...

TheSlowskys · June 2012

I know someone who was thrilled to get a 500 gift... And it bounced. Even if it didn't clear bc the acct closed, I would not say something. They will figure out that something is up when it doesn't clear their account. I may not send a thank you either. I'm sure they will figure it out and be embarrassed, no need to add to that by telling them. Also, if it hasn't happened before and you don't have overdrafts or other bad history, see if your bank will refund the fee as a courtesy. Go in person, smile and talk to a manager, and explain the situation.

annie912 · June 2012

I would say something, but primarily because I know that there can be a very simple explanation for this. I work with a bank and we recently had a client who wrote a check off of an investment account to deposit into their checking account. While the funds were available in the investment account, the check from the money market was rejected because our company had recently merged with another and the name of the fund company had changed making the old checks invalid. I called the client, explained what happened and she immediately said, "Oh yeah, I did get new checks a few months ago. I didn't look at the letter with them and just thought the bank was sending me extras." Because the fund name on the check she tried using no longer existed, the check was returned saying "account closed." It was easy to fix in this case because the investment account and bank account were with related firms (I work for the investment part of the cmpany, not the bank side), but if she had written that check out to someone else it could have caused a lot more difficulty for her.

ETA - I also agree that you should talk to your bank manager about waiving the fees you were assessed. If you've got a good history with them, they will often do it as a courtesy.

Gift check bounced. Should I say something?

Re: Gift check bounced. Should I say something?

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