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reception help please?

kaceandpointkaceandpoint member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Reception Forum
So we're trying to plan a wedding, but the thing is we're getting legally married in a few months for immigration reasons. My question is, is it ok to have a reception only wedding? we would do a quick (and I mean quick), like committment ceremony at the beginning of the reception but not a full on wedding ceremony. is this ok or not?
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Re: reception help please?

  • MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    Are you saying you're getting married now and having a reception later?  If so, you can't do any showers (except for people who are actually attending your wedding ceremony-I'm assuming it's only you two though).  You also shouldn't wear a wedding dress at this "reception."  It's more like a party later.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_reception-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:248674e8-37e2-4197-9c15-44f7af90fbbePost:da98acf1-9d79-40ba-939f-3adbf7e991aa">reception help please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So we're trying to plan a wedding, but the thing is we're getting legally married in a few months for immigration reasons. My question is, is it ok to have a reception only wedding? we would do a quick (and I mean quick), like committment ceremony at the beginning of the reception but not a full on wedding ceremony. is this ok or not?
    Posted by kaceandpoint[/QUOTE]

    <div>It's fine to just have the party after the fact.  Since you will have been married for a little while going into it, there is no reason to do a ceremony.  People disagree about whether the event you are planning should be called a reception, but it isn't a wedding either way.  </div><div>
    </div><div>I don't know why you can't just have the party on the same day that you have the wedding, but many people will enjoy celebrating with you even if you couldn't invite anyone to the wedding ceremony.  I wouldn't try to reinact a wedding, though.  Just tell people it happened and celebrate that.  </div>
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Skip any kind of ceremony and just throw a great party.  No wedding connection needed.
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  • tonyadombrowskitonyadombrowski
    First Comment
    A girl I work with had her wedding planned out from everything, they ended up getting married at a courthouse and still had there wedding. I personally thought it was fine. They did a quick chapel that was like 15 mins then had a reception, she wore a beautiful dress and it was a great time! I say do whatever you want to do....the girl I work with said she was happy she did it that way and has no regrets.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    You can have a reception at any time, but if it doesn't follow the actual ceremony, don't call it a "wedding reception."  I'd call it a "celebration" instead.
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  • mzuffymzuffy member
    First Comment
    Lady, I think if you want to wear a beautiful white wedding dress then you absolutely should. There are no rules, this is your wedding and your party. I was just at a wedding where the ceremony was before the reception in the same location. If you wanted to have a quick little ceremony then it could be BOOM party. I also think you should have a shower if you want to. I went to another wedding in September and the bride and groom had been legally married for weeks due to insurance reasons. They had the ceremony, reception, bachelorette party, showers etc just like anybody else. Don't let crazy rules hold you back, this is YOUR celebration!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_reception-help-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:248674e8-37e2-4197-9c15-44f7af90fbbePost:2a8a9bfb-b213-46ef-92f6-c698725d9e2d">Re: reception help please?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lady, I think if you want to wear a beautiful white wedding dress then you absolutely should. <strong>There are no rules</strong>, this is your wedding and your party. I was just at a wedding where the ceremony was before the reception in the same location. If you wanted to have a quick little ceremony then it could be BOOM party. I also think you should have a shower if you want to. I went to another wedding in September and the bride and groom had been legally married for weeks due to insurance reasons. They had the ceremony, reception, bachelorette party, showers etc just like anybody else. Don't let crazy rules hold you back, this is YOUR celebration!
    Posted by mzuffy[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, there are rules.  They are called etiquette and manners.  Most people care about those things.</div><div>
    </div><div>You personally may not have been offended at the horrendous display you just described, but I can assure you that plenty of people are put off by a pretend wedding and by showers and pre-wedding parties with guests who weren't invited to the real wedding.  </div><div>
    </div><div>Plenty of people do care about having manners, and they care about not offending their loved ones.  You may think that getting married is an excuse to become self centered and greedy, but most people prefer not to behave that way.  Encouraging people you don't even know to embarrass themselves in front of friends and family is just mean.  </div>
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  • mzuffymzuffy member
    First Comment
    I understand manners and etiquette but in this day and age things are more complicated. If anybody on her guest list is offended, they are not obligated to be in attendance.
    "Those that matter don't mind, and those that mind don't matter".
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  • DenotheusDenotheus member
    First Comment

    This is an intersting question and you've recieved some rather varied responses. In my humble opinion, I feel you should consider the answers here, then, ask the people you'd be inviting to your reception / celebration. Your family and friends.

    Get their input, thoughts and feelings on the subject. Afterall, your family and friends are the ones you really want to celebrate with. Listen to what they have to say and base your decision on their preferences.

    It will still be very much, YOUR day. However, you'll have taken the feelings of your guests into consideration. I feel this would make for a happier reception, party, celebration, etc.

    Good Luck and the best to you, regradless of what you decide.  Smile 

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  • kaceandpointkaceandpoint member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited November 2012
    thank you everyone, but maybe i should have specified that we are getting married before hand for legal and immigration issues. my brother and his wife got married months before there wedding so she could get the health insurance from the army (not as bad as it sounds) and she had a full blown wedding, so I don't see the problem with saying our vows in front of our friends and family. Also i have been invited to bridal showers and not the wedding. and about the dress, if I want to wear a wedding dress, I will. If we're playing by the rules, white wedding dresses are reserved for virgins so a majority of people are "breaking the rules". We have a daughter and want to celebrate our family becoming "official", so this isn't a traditional wedding, so I don't know why I'll be held to traditons.
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