Breakup Survival Kit

egeurts · October 2012

My best friend, who was my MOH a few months ago and has been my BFF since we were 12, is undergoing a really rough breakup right now. She called me today and cried for over an hour. Technically they haven't broken up yet, but it's been dragging on for over a week, last night the huge fight happened, and while they're both "giving it time" so that they don't scream at each other, they are 99% likely to officially call it quits within the next day or two. She is heartbroken, and unfortunately, I can't physically be there for her because I live 5 states away. I want to send a care package, a kind of breakup survival kit to make her feel better. I was hoping you guys could help me think of things to put in it.
Oh, and in addition to breaking up, her insomnia is back and she has the flu, so she hasn't been able to eat or sleep for over a week.

So here's what I've got so far:
a heartfelt card
chocolate
kleenex
a coloring book
a journal
a stuffed animal
zzzquil
fruitsnacks
a mix cd (need song suggestions)
a movie (need suggestions)
and would getting one of those "best friend" necklaces be too cheesy? I mean, we are 24.

Ro041 · October 2012

It was pricey to ship, if I remember correctly, but I once sent a container of homemade chicken soup to a friend who was pretty sick. Here is the website:

http://www.grandmaschickensoup.com/

beardo1111 · October 2012

Wine and/or liquor. Unless there's a contraindication - that would definitely be included in my survival kit. And I don't think any best friend paraphenalia is too cheesy - if it makes her feel loved it's a good idea.

Poor girl! We all know how hard it is - wishing her the best.

abbyizzymommy · October 2012

I agree with pp. the best friend necklace would be perfect and make her laugh. The whole idea is great, you are a good friend. I agree with wine. Also for the songs, maybe a bunch that have been favorites for the 2 of you over the years? My best friend and I have a cd like this, it always makes us laugh

egeurts · October 2012

Thanks for the help! I am a bit iffy about the wine idea- I know she loves wine, but I also am not sure about shipping liquids and I'm also not sure how she feels about "drinking her emotions away" (as she put it on the phone today).

I really want to do the mix CD, but I'm not sure if I should stick to solely upbeat songs to get her mind off of the breakup and distract her, or if I could toss in a few breakup-esque songs to let her know that it's going to be ok? (Specifically, I have in mind Sara Evan's song Little Bit Stronger)

As for movie suggestions, I'm totally lost. I don't know if I want to go funny, action (which is her fave), or find an empowering chick-flick.

annamario1013 · October 2012

def those small bottles of alcohol lol and maybe even a good book ....maybe even a gift card for a mani pedi if its not too much

MrsGandthebeag · October 2012

I'd ditch the coloring book and stuffed animal. Then add in some homemade cookies and microwave popcorn.

eelsbury08 · October 2012

keep the stuffed animal and coloring book. i am 23 and still like to color (yes i know). i like the mani / pedi idea. maybe and itunes gift card so she can do her own songs? ive also heard that shipping alcohol is illegal.

i hope she feels better.

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

When I went through a heartwrenching breakup, my BFF showed up at my door with a bottle of wine and let me cry on her shoulder for a year. If I were 5 states away, she would have done something like this basket and it would have been very appreciated.

acaponi87 · October 2012

I'm a big fan.

I vote no on the the necklace but yes on the stuffed animal. What girl doesn't like stuffed animals (okay I sleep with 2 still and I'm married lol)? But I brought my friend who was in the hospital for depression a stuffed animal and he still uses it. Great to have "someone" to be there when you can't be there.

I might put hot chocolate or something like that in there. Hot drinks always cheer me up.

I'd pick a good funny, non-romantic movie...something like "Despicable Me".

Sassenach1743 · October 2012

I would send her a package of edible goodies from a reputable company like this:

http://www.wolfermans.com/w/home?ref=google_search_tm&cm_mmc=tm-_-google_search-_-[tm]-[pc]-wolferman's-[e]_wolferman's-_-cb1930cc5c5e49a3a6ce306e2d40eb39&kwid=cb1930cc5c5e49a3a6ce306e2d40eb39

I've sent many a gift basket from this company and their products are amazing! She will love the gourmet English muffins, crumpets and jam, teas and coffees... very comforting and truly a treat.

Then, you could send a separate package of personal and fun items to help her feel that you are there for her. I would include the Kleenex and stuffed animal for sure! There are going to be tears, no way around it. I would also include some feel good movies, maybe her favorite Disney animated feature. As previously suggested, The Holiday, is also a great choice. I also love the movie, Julie and Julia, very uplifting and fun.

And for music, I would send her these CDs: Tidal and When the Pawn by Fiona Apple, Back to Black by Amy Winehouse and 21 by Adele. All these albums are amazing female singers that have an angry edge... I know I listened to them when I was going through rough relationship issues and/or break ups. There is nothing wrong with being reminded of the situation she's facing... she's got to get it out of her system! Let her find her power and voice again... belt out these songs until she's all sung and cried out, it will help.

DocileDoom · October 2012

I agree with the hot drinks suggestion. Those are always nice. Maybe hot cocoa with mini marshmallow in it or a couple interesting tea bags? It might be considerate to make it a non-caffeinated drink, so as to not worsen her insomnia.

Adding some bath salts would be a nice way for her to relax. Maybe throw in a couple of scented candles, too, to make it a full bubble-bath kit.

In terms of songs, I know that "Defying Gravity" from Wicked helped me through a lot of breakups back in the day.

GoodLuckBear14 · October 2012

OP - if you can swing it, I'd see if you can get gift cards to a local spa for her. Even something as small as a massage or a mani/pedi does wonders for relaxation.

kgg6 · October 2012

I think it's a great idea! It will help take her mind off things, at the very least. It would be good to stay away from really sad songs, or love songs, and just let her rock out to some universally loved oldies.

Some CD song suggestions:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T by Aretha Franklin
Bobby Day & The Satellites - Rockin' Robin
Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Walk Like A Man
Lesley Gore - You Don't Own Me (this one might be a little too soon? But its a fun one!)
Jim Croce - Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
Earl had to die -- Dixie chicks (also maybe too soon... and felony oriented)

Beyond that, maybe you know some of her favorite bands and could include a few of those? No safe movies come to mind... they all involve riding off into the sunset. Even 'Practical Magic,' which would be great as a seasonal option!

egeurts · October 2012

Update: They broke up last night. She called me at 11 last night and we talked for 2 hours; she cried for the first half and we spent the second half chatting, mostly her talking about their relationship interspersed with misc small talk about our lives and school and stuff.

I am finishing up the care package today. Thanks for the help!

arendiva · November 2012

I would say no to the stuff animal but would say yes to some nice quality teabags (or loose tea if she has a teaball) and maybe a cute teamug (#1 BEST FRIEND) or something. Include her favorite snacks pretzels, nuts, etc etc. Love the mix cd idea. Also whatever movie you get her get yourself a copy to that way you can watch it together.

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