Ushers vs. groomsmen?

KMLara · April 2011

So the other day my fiance and his buddies were drinking and he drunkenly invited 2 of his friends to be ushers in our wedding. Not really a big deal, but I hadn't really planned on having ushers seeing as how we are having an outdoor ceremony so pretty casual and adults can pretty much handle finding their own seat.

My fiance said he wants the 2 new additions in the wedding party pictures. Are ushers included in pictures? Do ushers wear the same tuxes as the wedding party? i suppose we could just have them be groomsmen. We would then be at 4 on my side and 7 on his. We are only inviting 100 people and that is a really big wedding party.

Any ideas? THANKS!

mbcdefg · April 2011

They could rent tuxes like the groomsmen, or they could just wear their own suits (my vote is for suits, since I'd personally feel uncomfortable asking a non-groomsman/bridesmaid to wear a specific outfit).

If you want them to tie into your wedding colors, buy them neckties in your desired color. Marshall's has very cheap ties, department stores have sales all the time, or look on Etsy (I recommend seller Rabbitstop, we got our groomsmen's ties from there).

I would include them in at least SOME of the wedding party photos, if not all of them. It won't be a bad thing to include them in the photos, even if they're not in matching outfits.

I would talk to your FI and encourage him to ask them to be groomsmen if that's what he really wanted all along. Adding two more guys to the mix really isn't a big deal by any means.

vicki0508 · April 2011

Ushers can just wear their own suits and you can get them matching ties or bouts. It would be nice to have them in some pictures, and I don't think it would matter that they didn't match the GM.

graysquirrel · April 2011

Whether they match or not is up to you and the budgets of your ushers. Ours are going to match the groomsmen, but they are ok with that. We're having a historical theme, so we wanted them to wear the special tuxes. Ushers can be in some pics, but they are not usually included in the WP photos.

alliesono · April 2011

Different people have different views of usher vs. groomsman, and I think it varies with location. Most of the wedding I'd been to previously (in Iowa) simply called all of the groomsmen "ushers," even though only 2 or 3 of them would actually usher guests. I've also seen ushers dressed in nice suits, and given a boutonniere, but not dressed the same as the groomsmen.

FI and I were ready to go with the 2nd scenerio I mentioned (though we hadn't asked anyone yet) when FMIL freaked out because they would not "match." Apparently everyone in her social circle has ushers in tuxes. Anyway, we ended up just having 2 of our groomsmen usher, and I'm sure it will be just fine.

In short: there are no hard and fast rules about what the ushers have to do, but it can vary between circles. I would just do what you're comfortable with , and/or what's common in your area. Don't worry about an uneven bridal party, no one notices.

kt012885 · April 2011

we have 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen and only invited 50 people. LOL it's a small ceremony but we couldn't cut out our wedding party. i think you could do either or. just have them wear the same tuxes and get people to their seats. OR have them be GM

meganb1977 · April 2011

I think they could wear either suits or tux like the other guys as long as both do the same. What would they prefer? We are having two ushers in addition to the guys in our WP because we think it will be elegant to have the mothers and grandmas escorted by separate gentlemen and they were other friends that my fiance wanted to include without having uneven sides on the wedding party. One of the ushers is even the husband of one of the bridesmaids LOL. So it will all work out fine.

Ushers vs. groomsmen?

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