Wedding Woes

Disinterested MOH or Selfish Bride?

So my MOH and I have been friends for over 20 years so we are more like sisters than anything else.
I got engaged last february 2011 and ever since then she just doesn't seem to be as excited or involved as I thought she was.
I feel like she weaseled out of doing the bridal shower because I had never been to one and she told me that normally an aunt would throw it and that she didn't have the money. I am not close with my aunts so my other bridesmaid that I have known the shortest offered to do it and she had just had a baby.
She then said that of course she would do the bachelorette party and I suggested going out to dinner in the cities and stay at a nice hotel all together. $50 for dinner and the room was $300 with 4 of us in the room. The bachelorette party is in like 2 weeks and she just called me and said it has to be one or the other and that she can't afford it.
Is it wrong for me to be frustrated about all of this or is my annoyance justified? For the bridal shower she kept asking me what I wanted (and not in a nice tone mind you) and now for the bachelorette party I am the one calling all the other bridesmaid asking what they want to do and to be honest I am over the whole thing. I feel like me being a bride and wanting to do fun things is an inconvenience to her and honestly I feel like she has had over a year to save up any money for this party that she said she would plan....am I wrong?

Re: Disinterested MOH or Selfish Bride?

  • I guess it depends on whether or not the basis of your 20 year friendship is her ability to throw you multiple parties on demand.

    And four adults in one hotel room?  How old are you?
  • All of this is easily explained by her explanation that she doesn't have the money.  And really, wtf at you thinking someone should scrimp and save for a year to throw you parties.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_disinterested-moh-or-selfish-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:26107004-46e2-49b1-8fc8-69cd0e2ba363Post:c865f3d8-0c88-41fb-8f90-e958b7636475">Re: Disinterested MOH or Selfish Bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]  And really, <strong><em>wtf at you thinking someone should scrimp and save for a year to throw you parties.</em></strong>
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    This x a frillion.
  • selfish bride - why is thie even a question?
  • agree with PP...bachelorette party?   NOT a REQUIREMENT for getting married.....shower? anyone can throw one for you.....is this MOH your only friend?   doesn't OWE you anything other than being in the wedding. JMO
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_disinterested-moh-or-selfish-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:26107004-46e2-49b1-8fc8-69cd0e2ba363Post:451aacba-81a4-4d1c-a717-3710cbb0be4e">Re: Disinterested MOH or Selfish Bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]agree with PP...bachelorette party?   NOT a REQUIREMENT for getting married.....shower? anyone can throw one for you.....is this MOH your only friend?   doesn't OWE you anything other than being in the wedding. JMO
    Posted by flower_diva[/QUOTE]

    I disagree with everyone else on here!  I think that she took the job of being your MOH, she should have planned for the events that she KNEW she would have to plan/attend.  Is there a possibility that the MOH is jealous?  If she is older than you or been in a relationship longer than you she may hold a (subconsious) grudge.  Try to talk to her and let her know what is bothering you.  If you have been friends with her for 20 years, hopefully she will understand!  Good luck!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_disinterested-moh-or-selfish-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:26107004-46e2-49b1-8fc8-69cd0e2ba363Post:a3d7ff35-6eb7-4016-bc56-ba2390bcc92c">Re: Disinterested MOH or Selfish Bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]selfish bride - why is thie even a question?
    Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

    Mean!  Is she selfish to ask the MOH to buy a dress too???  It is the MOH's job to plan these events!  I just threw a bridal shower for my best friend as the MOH and I am planning the bachelorette party because IT IS MY JOB.  I knew what I was signing up for... so I saved for it. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_disinterested-moh-or-selfish-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:26107004-46e2-49b1-8fc8-69cd0e2ba363Post:e6a96a44-e9c2-455b-b12e-0028971400ff">Re: Disinterested MOH or Selfish Bride?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess it depends on whether or not the basis of your 20 year friendship is her ability to throw you multiple parties on demand. And four adults in one hotel room?  How old are you?
    Posted by Heffalump[/QUOTE]

    Rude
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