how often do you bicker/fight with your FI/H?

CassandraPotter · May 2011

and what do you usually bicker/fight about?

blahblah85 · May 2011

We hardly ever fight. In fact the last fight we had was before we were engaged, and I really don't remember what it was about.

We disagree about changes with the house. (FI owned his house for four years before he met me. Hes lived here alone that whole time, and is really posessive about his house!)

tesskerr · May 2011

Maybe once a month? and usually because I'm tired or hungry, and it's just about dumb stuff. We did have a little fight yesterday though.

My FI is 25, I am 23. He wants us to both get nintendo 3D's and pokemom? WTF. We are normal people, He is an engineer and gym junkie, I am a beauty therapist and wish I was a gym junkie, so not computer type people at all. We do both have xbox's, that we both hardly ever use (mainly kinect) I don't care if he want to get a nitendo and play pokemon and pretend he is 9 years old. I just don't want to waste $500 buck on one for me. I would rather buy shoes.

He wont quit nagging me. Everyday he shows me youtube clips. Everyday he says "babe, I know you will love it when you get into it. Its so much fun, and it's something we can do together" and blah blah blah.

I yelled at him, and asked does he really think if he asks me everyday, i will cave and get one? I said, again, that it is not my thing, I don't want to waste my money on it, but if he wants to, he can.

He shut up for 5 mins, then said he would buy one for me. I yelled a little again, and said what don't you understand about the fact I.DONT.WANT.ONE.

He then askes his cousin/friend who lives down the road if he wanted to get one and they could play together (what has happened to all these normal men?) and the cousins girlfriend said he wasn't allowed one.

I told my FI that he should buy one for his cousin, I would even buy one for him, just stop asking me, like a 5 year old!

JadziaDax · May 2011

We fight when FI drives too fast and I yell at him to slow down (I don't drive myself).

Ghoti · May 2011

... I think a nintendo 3DS looks like fun haha. Of course, I just bought a Lego game for the Wii, so I guess I'm a 9 year old too

Fi and I rarely argue. We used to, a lot, just because we had a LOT of stress and didn't know how to deal with it together, but we've since adapted and now arguments are very rare.

tesskerr · May 2011

I would consider getting one, and playing some of the other games, but he just wants it so we can play pokemon together.

Andplusalso, they don't come in pink yet...

I also just thought we fight about when the heatpump (aircon) should be on. It is the first day of winter tomorrow, I think it should be on. It might get sunny during the day, but their is frost in the morning till 10ish, and the sun is pretty much gone by 5pm (so cold by 4) so I think it should be on all the time. FI is very warm blooded, so could prob live happily his whole life without any heating. Well we don't really fight, he just says "why is the heat pump on? it's not cold" and then I say "it is cold, and I'm not turning it off" we probably have this convo a few times a week.

Ghoti · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bickerfight-fih?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5863b4db-fb33-4ae9-b018-bbe6dad824d6Post:96fc2edd-a25b-4e20-879c-a7a99eaae3fc">Re: how often do you bicker/fight with your FI/H?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would consider getting one, and playing some of the other games, but he just wants it so we can play pokemon together. Andplusalso, they don't come in pink yet... I also just thought we fight about when the heatpump (aircon) should be on. It is the first day of winter tomorrow, I think it should be on. It might get sunny during the day, but their is frost in the morning till 10ish, and the sun is pretty much gone by 5pm (so cold by 4) so I think it should be on all the time. FI is very warm blooded, so could prob live happily his whole life without any heating. Well we don't really fight, he just says "why is the heat pump on? it's not cold" and then I say "it is cold, and I'm not turning it off" we probably have this convo a few times a week.
Posted by tesskerr[/QUOTE]
I was only teasing :D <div>
</div><div>And I forgot, we totally bicker (albeit more in play) about the heat. I would have it on year round if I could, I'm not a fan of clothing when I'm home. He'd be happy if it stayed under 60 degrees all the time. </div>

cmp1986 · May 2011

We fight every once and a while. Usually it's about the stupid stuff. "Why didn't you take the trash out like I asked 4 hours ago!?" Then he usually says some smart a$$ comment and then I laugh at him and he breaks the tension. We never have blow out, fist flying fights. It's mostly me nagging him and then he will mock me and I'll laugh at him. He always calms me down before it gets too serious. Sadly nagging is in our (women's) DNA. I hate to nag at him, but he always waits to the last minute to do things. As long as your not saying stuff that you would later regret, then a little disagreement every now and then is alright.

karmellah · May 2011

we've never fought.

bicker probably every hour lol

NcsuPsych · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_bickerfight-fih?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:5863b4db-fb33-4ae9-b018-bbe6dad824d6Post:8bd58744-f8d6-4705-aac3-301fffa5f866">Re: how often do you bicker/fight with your FI/H?</a>:
[QUOTE]We really don't argue much. If we do, it's usually a miscommunication breakdown. I can't emphasize enough how important communication is.
Posted by jcbsjr[/QUOTE]

This. It usually happens when we're both stressed to the max and have failed on the communication level. Communication is one of the most important things in a marriage, maybe even the most important. If you can't communicate properly, ity bity misunderstandings can blow up and go crazy.

We've gotten a lot better at it though about out communication. I also think that living together prior to getting married helped us out a lot because we had to figure this out even more due to the high stress and confusion.

With that said, I don't think we've ever had a huge fight. There have been strong disagreements and some arguments, but they're pretty darn rare. Again, stress will amplify this.

.We do have heated discussions, but they aren't fights. They're usually one topics that we're passionate about or have more knowledge on. However, they aren't fights or arguments.

Ironically, supposedly there are right and wrong ways to fight (I wasn't aware of this prior to marriage). There's a book out there, I cant remember the name. Anyways, it had a lot of great tips. If I can remember it, I'll post it. Its like "Fighting Fair" or something completely unoriginal like that lol.

klm03013 · May 2011

We've had maybe two, three fights tops in the last few years. We do bicker occasionally, but it's always over household chores and is quickly resolved.

stacie+luciano · May 2011

You know...We discuss, we talk. We never get upset or mad at each other. We make sure we know what we're talking about. I don't like to argue at all. So yeah haha..I guess I'm lucky.

Cynthia1207 · May 2011

We used to fight often and they were heated fights. We both have very hot tempers. Our fights were always about other people ironically, it had never anything to do with us.....

FI is the type of person who thinks everyone is nice and he's not really perceptive to manipulative or just plain mean people. I'm the exact opposite. I can peg someone without even seeing them, just by hearing comments and I'm not usually wrong. I would tell FI that this and this person was just pulling his leg and he wouldn't believe it so we'd fight about it. In the end, I was always right. The person ended up doing exactly what I said they would and FI ended up feeling hurt and betrayed.

I found a way to tell him how I felt about certain people and he learned to listen and be more alert. I cannot remember when our last fight was. I guess we learned to fight.

klm03013 · May 2011

Sometimes I think it's healthy to be upset or fight with your FI a little. You learn how to navigate problems together and how to "fight fair". I definitely don't fight with FI often, but can't say that I have never been mad at him. However, we respect each other, don't hit below the belt, don't leave things unresolved, and usually end up in a better place after.

I can't imagine that there is any married couple out there who can honestly say they have never been mad at their partner.

jemmini6 · May 2011

FI and I have never had a fight and I can't say that we bicker either. We might occassionally get annoyed with each other over small things, but let it go right then and there (ie, I'll have just unloaded the dishwasher and he puts a dirty plate in the sink. It annoys me, but I say "you know you can put that right in the dishwasher you know" and then he does, problem solved). I think good communication is the key, we talk about everything so nothing ever really turns into a problem.

Cynthiajt1 · May 2011

we fight a lot, but its always about really stupid stuff and our arguments always (and I do mean always) end with us laughing about it. We have never had an argument that has spun out of control or that hurt either parties feelings. The last argument was because he kicked the tire on my car and I over reacted because I have worked my but off to pay for my little POS. The fight morphed into a tickle fight on the sofa. We are kids at heart.

em01092 · May 2011

We rarely fight. I got upset with him for some work related stuff, mainly calling out when he wasn't really sick. Everyone plays hooky once in a while, but I had to make it clear that enough was enough.

I also got super pissed a few weeks ago because I had a pizza delivered to his work as a surprise, only to find out he went home early and didn't tell me. Looking back now, I realize I was more embarrassed and sad my surprise didn't work out. =(

mstar284 · May 2011

Yes, we fight. I won't lie, but we always work through it. It's always over little stuff. 7 years together...it's bound to happen quite a few times in that period of time. I know it's no excuse, but he's Irish, and I'm Italian. So things can get heated pretty quickly

I don't see how some people are saying they never fight! I can't imagine never having a fight with FI. Maybe our definitions of "fight" is different. We have disagreements, we are both opinionated and stubborn...therefore yelling will occur. It's actually quite a stress relief to be able to "lay it all out on the table" and get it out of our systems. I wouldn't want a time bomb on our hands.

how often do you bicker/fight with your FI/H?

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