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October 2010 Weddings

Can I strangle FMIL?!? (RANT)

FMIL is a stickler for etiquette.  Her etiquette.  Whatever the heck she was raised with - apparently there is a book.  She is the kind of woman who will cut you off if you don't send her a thank you note within so many days.  She rants and raves about everyone's manners.  Fine...  but I was raised much more loosey-goosey than that so, of course, I offend constantly because I don't know "the rules".  But damn if I haven't been doing my best!  Her daughter is just as bad and actually got me a wedding etiquette book for Christmas.  Seriously...

So today we get an email telling us FMIL's dear friend in Michigan never received an invitation.  Well, she was on the list and stuff happens (evil USPS).  We marked her as a no at the direction of FMIL a few weeks ago because we all thought she was probably still dealing with the death of her husband a few months ago and wouldn't come (long way to travel, packing house, etc.)  So she wasn't on the list of people with whom to follow up and we did not realize her invitation did not arrive.  I told FMIL we had 3-4 that didn't arrive and I'd be happy to send another one.  Thought we were done.

Nope...  she sends the following e-mail - not only to us but also to her FRIEND (talk about an etiquette breach!):
"Kids...could you have made a mistake and NOT addressed it properly as Mrs. Michael [Last Name]?  That's what was on the list I sent you.  Bernie is short for Bernardine, but Mrs. Michael [Last Name[ would have been the correct addressing.  Queen Mum/Etiquette Guru"

Okay, first off, of course we freaking sent it to the address you sent.  Second, regardless of the first name, it would have gone to the same address,  Third, SERIOUSLY!?!?  "Etiquette Guru"  Gimme a freaking break!

My super-awesome, amazing fiance knew I was embarassed and PISSED.  So, separately and without copying me (although he later sent me a copy), he sends his mother this:

"Meagan is under enormous stress, not feeling well, having a complicated pregnancy and a multitude of work issues. From now on, let's address any ettiquette or planning issues just to me and I'll loop her in, if I feel it's appropriate."

Oh yes, this is the man I want to live my life with.  Kiss

Rant Over.

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Re: Can I strangle FMIL?!? (RANT)

  • your FI rules
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  • I love your FI...ok that sounds kinda funny but way to go!
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  • Hurray for your future hubby!!  

    Oh, and I'm sorry, did I read that right - did she seriously sign that email "Queen Mum/Etiquette Guru"?!  I wanna smack her for you!  Wow.
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  • Point to FI! So glad he stepped in!
  • queen mum? seriously? i can't handle that. i want to punch her in the face for you. glad your FI stepped in & handled the situation.
  • Yes, your FI is awesome!

    Man, it definitely seems to be the time for FMIL to be peaking in annoyance.  Even mine, who is normally easy to handle, is causing me to bite my tongue more and more.

    I hear you on the "old school etiquette".  In the beginning, both FMIL and FFIL made comments to FI about how my parents are SUPPOSED to pay for everything, even if it means taking out a loan.  seriously?!?!  Sorry, I'll take on my own savings elimination/debt for the wedding we want, not stick it to my parents because that's what they're SUPPOSED to do.  Ugh.  Luckily, they've dropped the subject... at least to our faces.  

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  • Oh that is friggin irritating!!!  You could address it to Aunt Poopy Pants and as long as it has the address on there, it will make it.  And if it is HER friend, then when you asked before, she should have followed up and not just told you to mark her as a no.

    I do love your FI stepping in and handling this one amazingly, though!!
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  • good for him!!!! he gets a gold star!!! What a supportive hubby to be!
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  • +1 for your FI!!
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  • Love your FI!  WTF kind of person actually brags about being the queen of etiquette???

    Ugh, maybe I'm just irritated with FMIL's in general today, but I want to shove that email up your FMIL's azz.  Sorry. 

  • In Response to Re: Can I strangle FMIL?!? (RANT):
    [QUOTE]Hurray for your future hubby!!   Oh, and I'm sorry, did I read that right - did she seriously sign that email " Queen Mum/Etiquette Guru"?!  I wanna smack her for you!  Wow.
    Posted by Veittobe[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  Yes, she did.  And then tonight FI's sister (one of my BMs) told me to chill.  I burst into tears and sent FI over there to tell her to keep her opinions to herself and her mouth shut.  He told her if it's not sunshine and roses, it had better not come out of her mouth!  Hehe.  And then both he and his BIL went outside to talk and wondered why she, a bride last November, cannot remember how freaking stressed she was and how everyone was upsetting her!  I don't care if she can empathize or not as long as she and her mother don't set me off more.  Sigh.... 
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  • umm wow... Etiquette Guru? more like Drama Llama...

    Your FI FTW! He definately gets major kudos for stepping twice and helping out!
  • carolsdaycarolsday member
    100 Comments
    edited September 2010
    Way to go for your fI ,  It's so good he supports you , and YOUR PREGNANT ! 

    That makes me soooo mad !   AH HELLO ,  everyone should be CATERING TO YOU , not making you more upset ! geezzz .

    I actually have to calm myself down i'm so mad about that.   I'm glad he stepped in and you take it easy , close your ears and let what they say roll off your back , and just think of you and your fi and baby together as a family when you get upset.  That should put a smile back on your face. :)
  • Awww, see, now without Queen Mum being as Queenie as she is, you would never get to experience your FI's smooth moves like that. He's classy!
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