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Feeling uneasy with two weddings next summer

ml3425ml3425
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in Moms and Maids
I've been asked to be a bridesmaid in two weddings next summer, two friends from high school are getting married and I really am excited for both of them!! Well.. here's the situation..

"Friend A" who got engaged in the fall.. She's the first is from a group of friends that said one night senior year we would stay friends forever and be in each other's weddings. It's been 6 years since we graduated high school, and I've seen her every 6 months or so, and I've met her fiance once about 3 years ago. 

"Friend B" is one of my best friends. I know her family, I know her fiance and some of his friends and it's been a long time coming!  I've known I was gonna be one of her bridesmaids for months now and she only just got engaged this week!

My problem is now that I'm moving to Florida for work and both weddings are 'home' in Pennsylvania. While looking up articles about being a long distance bridesmaid, I had this overwhelming feeling of guilt... I'm actively trying to think of coming home to go dress shopping and be at the bridal shower fror Friend B.... but I feel like I constantly remind myself about friend A.  Is it unfair that I spend so much time and effort being there for Friend B, but not for Friend A? 
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Re: Feeling uneasy with two weddings next summer

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I don't think it's unfair since you are obviously closer to one than you are the other. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited March 2013
    I agree that I think it's fine. All that stuff is bonus anyway, so Friend A won't be expecting it and Friend B will just be pleasantly surprised. I might just be low key about it, keep FB chat about it to a minimum, etc.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited March 2013
    if they are real friends they will understand your distance and the cost it implies to fly in that many times in one summer.  I think they would more so want you to be there on the actual wedding day-- and as a bridesmaid really all you "need" to do is be there that day.  If its unsettlng to you that you would not be able to be "more involved" you can always decline being a bridesmaid and let them know you can't wait to celebrate with them on their wedding day.

    ETA: sorry, misread your OP!  But yes, it is OK if you are more involved in one and not the other :)
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
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    Everything Stage said.
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  • ml3425ml3425
    First Comment
    Thank you ladies!  I feel a lot better about it... They're my friends, and they'll understand if I can't be there for everything.  And, when it comes down to it, if I'm still living in Florida when I get married, I understand that my Pennsylvania friends won't be there for all those things.

    And I love how you put it., Stagemanager!  As a former theatre major I have to smile.. stage managers always know what to do! haha :)  

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  • jennyd412jennyd412 member
    First Anniversary First Comment


    Don't worry about what you can and can't do. If you want to feel involved with both weddings, maybe mention to Friend A that you are coming into town for dress shopping with Friend B...and maybe the two of you can spend some time looking for dresses, etc.
    Regardless, your friends should both be understanding about the distance and won't expect you to be and shouldn't expect you to be filling a "role" in their wedding plans.
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