I have a question about how you should answer when a bridesmaid gets engaged and is either A: asking you how much things cost, or B: bragging about the cost of her wedding.
Two of my bridesmaids have gotten engaged after I asked them to be in my wedding. One of them is basically excited for me, I'm excited for her, we talk about how great The Knot is, etc.
The other is all about how much things cost. She wanted to know how much my engagement ring cost and the total carot. I said I didn't know (I don't want to know, it doesnt matter to me, my ring is perfect for me) and she then said "Well, my diamond is bigger than yours so mine must be more carots". She compared our Christmas gifts from our fiances. She is having a wedding for 270+ at someplace very expensive, I am having a wedding for 70 at a boutique-y hotel. She wants to know how much I spent for everything!
Also, she is bragging to me about how much her family and her fiances family are contributing to their wedding (they are basically paying for the whole thing) and that her parents are also paying for their honeymoon. My fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves. My mom is buying my wedding dress so I picked out a beautiful gown from Davids Bridal that costs less than $1000. Her dress is going to be from a boutique and she said she will try to stay under $5000.
I don't want to be put in the position of competing for the most expensive wedding, but she is bringing out the worst in me by forcing me into it. I don't answer her questions about money. But it is getting harder and harder to not be snarky. For me it is about planning a day that reflects me and my fiance. It is about quality over quantity. But I can't help feeling bad when she talks about how "cheap" the dresses are at David Bridal, and how my wedding will be "so small and cute".
Also- I love my bridesmaid and I don't want to cut ties with her. We have been friends for a long time. She has asked me to be in her wedding, and she always asks how my wedding planning is coming along, and she wants to be involved. In every other way but this she is the perfect bridesmaid!
How would you ladies reply to questions about cost, size, etc? What should I say when she says that my wedding gown doesn't "look cheap" (with a tone of surprise?)
Oh- and I am not jealous. My fiance and I could afford to have a huge wedding if we wanted- we choose not to. I could have gotten an expensive gown, but I chose not too because I wanted to give my parents a break.