A few weeks back, my sister, a few years younger, announced her engagement and asked me to be the MOH in her wedding next fall in our (small) hometown. I was/am over the moon happy for her, I love her fiance.
Myself, I had at the time, been dating my BF for almost a year, and we'd been discussing marriage as a "when" not an "if". Since my sister's engagement, he and I had been debating, is it rude to get engaged before my sister's wedding, what if we waited until after the wedding to announce the engagement (we'd get married after my sister's wedding), etc. After awhile of this, he and I agreed that when we all get together over the holiday weekend, my sister and I would have a heart to heart, and I'd find out her feelings on the subject.
My sister is very easygoing, but her dad/g-ma (she is technically my half sister) not so much. They've accused me most of our lives of upstaging my sister, etc. our extended fam, family friends, etc, largely disagree with these claims. I know my *sister* loves my BF and is one of those "be happy other people are happy types", but that she's also close to *her* fam.
The option to delay our marriage is off the table though - BF and I have just found out we are expecting our first child! We are surprised though overjoyed - my first husband and I divorced several years ago when a few doctors told us I was unlikely to be able to conceive without medical assistance. (Because we thought I was infertile, we didn't bother with birth control after our test results came back clean) Our miracle baby is so far looking great, but for obvious reasons, we agreed that we're going to have to move our wedding date up until *before* my late-Jan due date.
My dilemma is - Not only did I definitely "upstage" my sister, I feel like I'll be launching both her and myself into a world of family drama when people figure out we're expecting/we announce our engagement.
I'm also torn as to whether i owe her an apology - I feel horrible and think it's unfair to her that I stole her spotlight, but am not in the least bit sorry about our miracle baby, nor do I feel it's healthy/that I'm obligated to apologize for having a child. I also don't want all heck to break loose with my step-relatives, since the potential for all that negativity/anger is not good for a baby.
How do I make this situation right with her? With my step-relatives? It would break my heart, but her wedding is her day - should I offer to step down as MOH?
TIA. I need to talk to her soon.
Mom to a beautiful boy and girl!