Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??

Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??

• JemmaWRX

  

  February 2013

  Well, it's not like she booked the same venue.  I wouldn't say anything.  None of this is worth getting your panties in a twist...

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• AddieCake member

  

  February 2013

  So having her wedding in a barn like you are is "stealing your wedding"?

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• missfrodo member

  

  February 2013

  Even if she had booked the same venue, as long as she's not getting married on the same day there's nothing you can do.  When she asks what you're doing for your wedding, change the subject or just say something like, "We're still thinking about it--have you thought about what you'd like for yours?"  If you don't tell her your ideas, she can't "steal" them, although honestly even if you use the same elements at your wedding, you are marrying differnt men so your weddings will not be the same.  

  
  

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• Jamiea291 member

  

  February 2013

  It wasn't just that she was having it at a similar venue, all the small details including colors seem to be popping up for her ideas now. I don't know why it's bothering me so much, because like the PP said, different men & all, but it does. I think it has to do with the fact that when I talked about other ideas that I liked, she was putting them down all of a sudden.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  February 2013

  Stop sharing your ideas and plans with her. Problem solved. And unless she marries your FI she's not "stealing your wedding."

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• *Barbie* member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-allowed-to-want-to-smack-my-fsil-upside-the-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e8d43e7-e4e3-4f7a-b807-c4a5904bed40Post:4edd63eb-eb91-457b-80c7-90b8a7679d4b">Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??</a>:
  [QUOTE]So, while people agree that it was kinda rude, they are also telling me to just let it slide. My FSIL, who is marrying my FI's brother before our wedding, has technically stolen my wedding. I've been reminded several times of how she wants the perfect wedding, but I figured she had an idea of what that would be. Over a month ago she asked about what plans we're making for the wedding, then admitted she still didn't have anything planned. I told her how we want to do it at a friend's vacation house. They recently redid their large barn which would work well for reception & we were going to do reception on their lovely new deck which is next to a small vineyard. She said it sounded beautiful & we didn't talk much since. Yesterday I found out from our FMIL that she just made the choice to have their wedding at her family member's house. They're going to do the wedding outside on the deck & then move into the barn for the reception. <strong>Are you kidding me?! She didn't even mention it to me that she's taking all my ideas & putting on what was supposed to be our wedding, before us</strong>.  Question is, do I bring it up with her & explain that it's frustrating that she seems to be copying our wedding? Let it go, throw on another farm wedding after her & hope it's better? Or change up our plans?
  Posted by Jamiea291[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>ZOMG!!!! YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOOO CREATIVE AND YOUNEEK!!! You must be the first person to <u style="font-weight:bold;font-style:italic;">EVER</u> have an outdoor wedding with a reception in a barn. How dare that WITCH-WITH-A-B steal your YOUNEEK idea and THNDERJACK your pretty, pretty hillbilly day?!</div>

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• baconsmom member

  

  February 2013

  OMG, I bet she'll have vows and rings, too. That btch. 

  

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• Wzz member

  

  February 2013

  i think you should smack her. no one should ever have the same details to their wedding as you've had in yours.
  
  mine was the only wedding EVAR to have me wearing a dress, my husband wore a nice and unique black tux. my bridesmaids carried bouquets of flowers - no one ever saw that before. and we were the first in both of our families to ever have a wedding cake with 3 tiers, and it was covered in white fondant. we even had a DJ play a song we chose, and we danced to it after we were announced as husband and wife at the reception. we're considered the trend setters in our group.
  
  i don't think anyone will ever have a wedding that comes even close to ours. i hope i didn't make you feel to bad by rubbing it in that we had such special never-been-before things at our wedding that you probably never even heard of. i don't think even google works to find these details, they are so special.
  
  good luck and keep us posted. next time, you know to call DIBS. it's a legally binding agreement between you and the world.

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• Heffalump member

  

  February 2013

  Zilla, I'm pretty sure you stole my wedding.  Btch.

  �

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• Jamiea291 member

  

  February 2013

  Okay, I didn't say I wanted to smack her, I said smack her upside the head. Like people sometimes do when someone frustrates you...

  
  

  I posted on here because I wanted to know if I should say something or leave it be. I didn't like that she has started replanning her wedding to be like mine while telling me to my face that my ideas sucked. Not that she was going to have the a typical ceremony, but the small details were going to be from me. 

  
  

  Very few of you were helpful, telling me to just not talk about the wedding with her anymore. The rest of you were unhelpful, rude, & sarcastic. I surely hope that you're not treating others who post with the same horrible attitudes & that you all have wonderful marriages. 

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• LaLavercase

  

  February 2013

  Iglain Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-allowed-to-want-to-smack-my-fsil-upside-the-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e8d43e7-e4e3-4f7a-b807-c4a5904bed40Post:64587525-f822-4e06-9fa6-99e4b9361a64">Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??</a>:
  [QUOTE]Okay, I didn't say I wanted to smack her, I said smack her upside the head. Like people sometimes do when someone frustrates you... I posted on here because I wanted to know if I should say something or leave it be.  I didn't like that she has started replanning her wedding to be like mine while telling me to my face that my ideas sucked. Not that she was going to have the a typical ceremony, but the small details were going to be from me.  Very few of you were helpful, telling me to just not talk about the wedding with her anymore. The rest of you were unhelpful, rude, & sarcastic. I surely hope that you're not treating others who post with the same horrible attitudes & that you all have wonderful marriages. 
  Posted by Jamiea291[/QUOTE]
  
  What is the difference between wanting to smack someone and wanting to smack someone upside the head?

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• Jamiea291 member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-allowed-to-want-to-smack-my-fsil-upside-the-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e8d43e7-e4e3-4f7a-b807-c4a5904bed40Post:304d144e-3cfa-4924-a6ac-fd85cc509ef4">Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??</a>:
  [QUOTE]Iglain Response to Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head?? : What is the difference between wanting to smack someone and wanting to smack someone upside the head?
  Posted by LaLavercase[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>Smacking someone upside the head is a tap to the back of the head. Usually when they're doing soething stupid. Smacking someone is hitting them in the face.</div>

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• mmd529

  

  February 2013

  I know it doesn't seem very helpful to say, "Don't share any more ideas with her", but if you end up changing some of your own details for whatever reason, or think of something special you'd like to do in either the ceremony or reception and you don't tell her, your wedding will automatically be different. I wouldn't bother bringing it up, chances are it'll only cause increased hard feelings between the two of you and in a couple of years, it won't seem like such a big deal in the larger scheme of things. Good luck with your wedding planning and your new family members. :

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• auroraborealisabc member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-allowed-to-want-to-smack-my-fsil-upside-the-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e8d43e7-e4e3-4f7a-b807-c4a5904bed40Post:64587525-f822-4e06-9fa6-99e4b9361a64">Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??</a>:
  [QUOTE]Very few of you were helpful, telling me to just not talk about the wedding with her anymore. The rest of you were unhelpful, rude, & sarcastic. I surely hope that you're not treating others who post with the same horrible attitudes & that you all have wonderful marriages. 
  Posted by Jamiea291[/QUOTE]
  
  This is the case with a lot of ladies on this site, OP.  They often come across as very rude (and the indivdual calling your ideas "hillbilly" was especially in poor taste).  But, usually their crassness comes with some good information, which I think in this case was, "It's nothing to be that worried about, these details about your wedding aren't exactly super original and you have no solid proof that she's completely jacking your ideas (which everyone does: anyone here use pinterest?), and that if you want to put your mind at east just stop talking to her about your wedding, period."
  
  Feel better :)

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• Jamiea291 member

  

  March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_am-i-allowed-to-want-to-smack-my-fsil-upside-the-head?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:1e8d43e7-e4e3-4f7a-b807-c4a5904bed40Post:e5f8a015-82f0-4ecc-888c-02ac4ab6dae7">Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head??</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Am I allowed to want to smack my FSIL upside the head?? : This is the case with a lot of ladies on this site, OP.  They often come across as very rude (and the indivdual calling your ideas "hillbilly" was especially in poor taste).  But, usually their crassness comes with some good information, which I think in this case was, "It's nothing to be that worried about, these details about your wedding aren't exactly super original and you have no solid proof that she's completely jacking your ideas (which everyone does: anyone here use pinterest?), and that if you want to put your mind at east just stop talking to her about your wedding, period." Feel better :)
  Posted by auroraborealisabc[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>Thank you.</div><div>Yeah, I was never claiming to have the most unique wedding ever. I was just frustrated that almost everything I had talked to her about was now coming across as her ideas. I just wasn't sure if I should ask her why she insults my ideas to my face & then takes them.</div><div>
  </div><div>I'll just do as you and a couple others suggested, change the topic, change some details, & let it go. Or, as another friend of mine said, throw out some outrageous ideas & see if she uses them. Could be fun. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /></div>

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