Etiquette

Is this too much?

Arrghhh... So I bought this dress and at the salon I thought I wanted to change the sash to a lighter one. 

But then I couldn't find I lighter sash I like.

My dress came in a few months ago and I LOVE it, however I just found these photos from the photographer and now I'm thinking the dark sash is too harsh / too dark.

I don't want to get my photos back after the wedding and only have my eyes drawn to the brown and having my photos look distracting.  Also, my BM dresses are dark purple and now I can't visualize them looking good in pictures together. 

OH GOD I'm so confused.  I can't find a sash colour I like, and now I'm having doubts about the brown.

What would you do?  Here's a link to the blog with the photos.

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Re: Is this too much?

  • I think that bride and her dress and her sash are all really beautiful.  It doesn't stick out or look bad to me at all.

    What does your dress look like?  What color is your sash?  Do you have any pictures of you wearing it?
    image
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  • I would say if you're having doubts than go with NO sash...But if it's something you had your heart set on try on everything together!  Have someone come with and try on the bridesmaids dress while you try on the dress with the sash...maybe even bring a small boquet with you to see how the flowers look with it all.

    I don't see anything wrong with brown and purple though...I think they go really well together usually (depending on the shades)
  • Oh well, there you go, I think it's really pretty. 

    Is the sash available in the same dark purple that the BMs are wearing?
    image
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  • One of my friends I think had the same exact dress as yours.  The dark brown sash looked really pretty.
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  • I love the sash. I also think the brown would look great with the purple bridesmaids dresses. 
    image
  • Girlfriend, I like you, but you need to start doing some deep breathing or something. You can't let every tiny detail about your wedding be this stressful - it's just not all that big a deal.

    Sashes in general are NMS, so take that into account. I do think that the sash is a prominent detail, but I also assume that if you're wearing a sash, you want people to look at it. It also isn't so prominent that it's the only thing I see, and I think it would look just fine with purple BM dresses. Now go tell yourself about 500 times "it's not a big deal" and then just decide whether you want the sash to be a highlighted detail or something subtle - there's no right answer, both are fine options.
  • I think the brown is fine.  A purple sash would be strange, I think.  I'd just leave it be. 
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:75af1445-9303-47c7-8f1b-fe42bafd1807">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girlfriend, I like you, but you need to start doing some deep breathing or something. You can't let every tiny detail about your wedding be this stressful - it's just not all that big a deal. Sashes in general are NMS, so take that into account. I do think that the sash is a prominent detail, but I also assume that if you're wearing a sash, you want people to look at it. It also isn't so prominent that it's the only thing I see, and I think it would look just fine with purple BM dresses. Now go tell yourself about 500 times "it's not a big deal" and then just decide whether you want the sash to be a highlighted detail or something subtle - there's no right answer, both are fine options.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    cosigned, Andy.
    <a href="http://whereareyoubabywiltrout.blogspot.com">My TTTC blog</a>


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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:084b2c19-0d3f-432b-a7dd-b8fe90e1b6b6">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Have you tried it with no sash?
    Posted by tiffbot1985[/QUOTE]

    <div>No, but a saw a picture of a bride who did, and I wasn't a fan.</div><div>
    </div><div>And also, to the other poster, there is no other colour it comes in  - I would have to custom order.</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:75af1445-9303-47c7-8f1b-fe42bafd1807">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girlfriend, I like you, but you need to start doing some deep breathing or something. <strong>You can't let every tiny detail about your wedding be this stressful - it's just not all that big a deal. </strong>Sashes in general are NMS, so take that into account. I do think that the sash is a prominent detail, but I also assume that if you're wearing a sash, you want people to look at it. It also isn't so prominent that it's the only thing I see, and I think it would look just fine with purple BM dresses. Now go tell yourself about 500 times "it's not a big deal" and then just decide whether you want the sash to be a highlighted detail or something subtle - there's no right answer, both are fine options.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Yes. Promise us no more threads about your FSIL pleeeaaaaase

    </div>
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:75af1445-9303-47c7-8f1b-fe42bafd1807">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girlfriend, I like you, but you need to start doing some deep breathing or something. You can't let every tiny detail about your wedding be this stressful - it's just not all that big a deal. Sashes in general are NMS, so take that into account. I do think that the sash is a prominent detail, but I also assume that if you're wearing a sash, you want people to look at it. It also isn't so prominent that it's the only thing I see, and I think it would look just fine with purple BM dresses. Now go tell yourself about 500 times "it's not a big deal" and then just decide whether you want the sash to be a highlighted detail or something subtle - there's no right answer, both are fine options.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]

    <div>You are very right.  I need perspective.  I also need to work on confidence, and chill OUT.  I'm going to keep the sash because I know I'll just have issues with the next sash, and the next one etc. </div><div>Thanks for telling me what my friends and family won't - that I need to STFU about mundane details and make a decision. </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:75af1445-9303-47c7-8f1b-fe42bafd1807">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Girlfriend, I like you, but you need to start doing some deep breathing or something. You can't let every tiny detail about your wedding be this stressful - it's just not all that big a deal. 
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>just a tad harsh, perhaps?  on the wrong day, i can get uber stressed out about the tiniest detail so i won't knock you for that.  </div><div>
    </div><div>i have almost the same sash, but my dress looks a little different, and obviously that means i'm biased, but i don't think it's too much at all - nor did i think that when i looked at your pic.  for me that detail sealed the deal on the dress, esp because my BMs will be in chocolate brown dresses.  if you are worried about the sash (i reiterate, i love it!) have you looked at any jewellery type belts that could add detail without a dramatic colour?  something like this?  </div><div>
    </div><div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:75b21803-32a2-4218-8ebc-74e994b0932e">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is this too much? :<strong> just a tad harsh, perhaps? </strong> on the wrong day, i can get uber stressed out about the tiniest detail so i won't knock you for that.   i have almost the same sash, but my dress looks a little different, and obviously that means i'm biased, but i don't think it's too much at all - nor did i think that when i looked at your pic.  for me that detail sealed the deal on the dress, esp because my BMs will be in chocolate brown dresses.  if you are worried about the sash (i reiterate, i love it!) have you looked at any jewellery type belts that could add detail without a dramatic colour?  something like this?  
    Posted by jaytee16[/QUOTE]


    With your 16 posts I wouldn't expect you to understand exactly what Emily was referring to........

    Shoegal - I actually think the sash is pretty and so is the dress.
  • just a tad harsh, perhaps?  on the wrong day, i can get uber stressed out about the tiniest detail so i won't knock you for that.

    there was nothing harsh in what emily said.
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    TTC since July 2011
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    February-March 2012: 50 mg clomid + trigger+ TI = BFN
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    October 2012: Benched due to cysts
    November-December 2012: IVF #1 Stims start 11/30 27R 20M 19F. Transferred 1 amazing blast and froze 8. 12/23: BFP! Beta #1= 86 Beta #2=186 6 weeks 1 day saw h/b; u/s at 9 weeks 1 day, no h/b D&C 1/31 FET scheduled for April 2013

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  • I don't think it's too harsh, but if you do, what colors, have you ruled out? I think a lighter brown or even a champagne color might even be nice.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:03030d29-28dd-46ff-82bb-91dc7b681dcf">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Jaytee, have you lurked here at all? Shoegal herself agreed with me because she's had several posts lately where relatively minor things are stressing her out. If you saw those and still thought I was harsh then fine, but if you're just jumping in based on one post when I'm making a comment based on weeks of interaction with the OP, maybe consider that you might not have a full understanding of the situation. Shoegal, you're going to be just fine :) Just remember that while to you it's "OH GOD THE SASH," to everyone else - including your FI - it's "what a gorgeous bride." They're not breaking everything down into tiny details like you are.
    Posted by emilyinchile[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Thanks again for the kind words and good advice! You seem like a very kind and genuine person.

    </div>
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  • maybe i don't spend as much time on this board as some, sorry if i haven't read all of your other conversations thus far.  i also posted before i saw OP's post saying she needed to not stress about this.  my apologies for reading something and responding in a sincere manner.  i come to these boards for ideas and suggestions and on occasion, to make some of my own in a genuine attempt to be helpful - that doesn't mean i've read every other thread on a board.  i certainly did not intend to be rude, rather just supportive of the OP.  i don't know how that led to a whole bunch of comments calling me out - you don't all have to agree with me, that's why we call them opinions and not facts.  some of you really do know how to make new people feel welcome...perhaps there's a reason i have only posted 16 times, very insightful to point that out stackeye...

    shoegal - good luck to you, i was truly just trying to be helpful.


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:400c5033-8b5e-4296-aa13-98819510cd83">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]maybe i don't spend as much time on this board as some, sorry if i haven't read all of your other conversations thus far.  i also posted before i saw OP's post saying she needed to not stress about this.  my apologies for reading something and responding in a sincere manner.  i come to these boards for ideas and suggestions and on occasion, to make some of my own in a genuine attempt to be helpful - that doesn't mean i've read every other thread on a board.  i certainly did not intend to be rude, rather just supportive of the OP.  i don't know how that led to a whole bunch of comments calling me out - you don't all have to agree with me, that's why we call them opinions and not facts.  some of you really do know how to make new people feel welcome...perhaps there's a reason i have only posted 16 times, very insightful to point that out stackeye... shoegal - good luck to you, i was truly just trying to be helpful.
    Posted by jaytee16[/QUOTE]

    Jaytee, my question is this - what in Emily's post was particularly harsh to you?  Regardless of whether you'd read the OPs other posts, I didn't think anything was over the top.  It was more like a good shake than a slap to the face, for sure. 

    Also, keep in mind - you called somebody out first.  Nobody called you out until after that, and in direct response to your post.  They were just disagreeing with your opinion. 

    Don't take it to heart.  Same as the OP, you might be stressing about this a bit too much.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
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    Mom to H: 2014

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    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:41ba6962-5814-44c3-9edb-70808d6c2bc6Post:400c5033-8b5e-4296-aa13-98819510cd83">Re: Is this too much?</a>:
    [QUOTE]maybe i don't spend as much time on this board as some, sorry if i haven't read all of your other conversations thus far.  i also posted before i saw OP's post saying she needed to not stress about this.  my apologies for reading something and responding in a sincere manner.  i come to these boards for ideas and suggestions and on occasion, to make some of my own in a genuine attempt to be helpful - that doesn't mean i've read every other thread on a board.  i certainly did not intend to be rude, rather just supportive of the OP.  i don't know how that led to a whole bunch of comments calling me out - you don't all have to agree with me, that's why we call them opinions and not facts.  some of you really do know how to make new people feel welcome...perhaps there's a reason i have only posted 16 times, very insightful to point that out stackeye... s<strong>hoegal - good luck to you, i was truly just trying to be helpful.</strong>
    Posted by jaytee16[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you. I know you were just trying to be helpful, and you were.  :)</div>
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