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Christian Weddings

What do you call them and when will it change?

As it gets closer to the wedding date, I guess this haunts me more!  What do I call my in laws!  Right now I call them Mrs. Jackie ( her first name) and Pastor Phil (his first name).  When we first met they introduced themselves as Phil & Jackie but I feel awkward calling them by their first names.  In 81 days I'll be their daughter in law. 

At the shower this weekend, his mom made me cry by saying how happy they were that I would be like having another daughter.  So - at some point I guess they will be like parents to me!  What do you all call your in laws/future in laws!  When did it feel right to you?  I don't want to disrespect the ones that actually gave birth & raised me!

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Re: What do you call them and when will it change?

  • iamjoesgurliamjoesgurl member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    To other people I refer to them as Joe's Mom & Joe's Dad.  I don't know if I have called them anything to their face.  I guess I would call them by their first names.  His mom refers to herself as Mom B but I would never call her Mom.

    I don't think I've heard him call my parents directly either.

    My 50+ year old uncle calls my Grandma "Mrs. (last name)" instead of Lucy.  I just think that is weird.
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  • edited December 2011
    We are very informal around here so I have always referred to his parents by their first names. Calling anyone Mr. or Mrs. _______ would be awkward around my hometown.
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  • edited December 2011
    I call them by their first names, as I have since I met them.  I can't remember if they were introduced to me like that, or if I asked my fiance what to call them. 

    In my circle and my parents' circle, you kind of reach a point (college, maybe, maybe high school), when you can call all adults by their first name.  We're not so formal out here in Wyoming.  It was weird going from calling my best friend's (since elem school) parents Mr. and Mrs. to their first names, but we're all adults and no one minds. 

    I did have a landlord once that insisted on being called "Mr. So-and-so."  I kinda felt like I was a kid again and it was a little embarrassing.  But I do still call my old teachers Mr. and Mrs.
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  • karenwjackmkarenwjackm member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually met them before I met my fiance, so knew them as equals in the adult sense before as FILs.  I call them by their first name, but I can see his mom wanting me to call her "mom" eventually.
    As my fiance is fond of saying, "Just Relax....."
  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    They introduced themselves by their first names, and FI's BILs and SIL call them by their first name, so I think that will stick.
  • edited December 2011
    I completely understand about disrepecting the ones that gave birth to you.

    My fiance was from Alabama and I was from Mississippi. Once we got engaged I couldn't stand to be away from him so I moved to Alabama. I now live 2minutes from his Mom &stepdad.

    The day we got engaged she said welcome to the family and told me she loved me... at first I was at lost. But living so close to her she has became like a second mom to me. My mom & her are really close so I asked my mom about it because I'm close to my mom and I didn't want to disrespect her.

    So I refer to my fiance's mom...as my 2nd mom & it tickles her to death.
  • edited December 2011

    Luckily I had my pre-marital homework ask the question for me! Both FI and I were a bit concerned about calling our new in-laws "mom", but luckily they both thought that would be strange since we have our biological mothers alive and well. Our parents said we can call them by their first names. (Although I must admit that it took a while to feel comfortable enough to call my MIL by her first name!)

  • felkelsfelkels member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I was introduced to them with first names but insisted on calling them Mr. and Mrs.  I was corrected by his mother in an email saying please call us by our first names, and I hope in time mom and dad.  I seriously doubt the mom and dad will happen, because I am not comfortable with it, but also because I know my mom is not comfortable with it.  I am fine going with their first names...I can see that conversation coming up in the future though.  They are excited to be getting their frist daughter.
  • DanielleB80DanielleB80 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My dad and FH's dad are deceased, so we only have MILs. He calls my mom 'mama' or 'MIL'. I call his mom 'MIL' but that takes too much effort. I think I'm just going to shorten it to 'mom'. LOL

    Our moms are great and they don't think it's disrespectful for us calling our MIL 'mom'. My mom tells FH she gained another son and his mom tells me she gained another daughter.


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  • mwhitson14mwhitson14 member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I call them by their first names.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My FI calls my parents by their first names.  I've never met the FI's father (or his wife), nor even spoken to them ... I suspect that if/when we meet, I'll call them by their first names.
  • edited December 2011
    I have been forced to call his parents mom and dad even since we were ONLY dating, even though they do not like me. When I called them Mr and Mrs I was corrected (and not very nicely) that they are mom and dad.  My parents do not care because he calls my parents mom and dad also although they are fine with Mr. and Mrs.  My ex boyfriend's mom made me call her Ms. and when I called her by her first name she got really upset. It's just different with everyone.
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  • mattycammattycam member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It's definately different for everyone. I refer to my FI parents as Mr. & Mrs. My FI refers to my mom as Miss. Recently his mom told me to call her by her fist name. I call her Miss (first name). How I was raised, it is a sign of respect to call your elders Mr (lastname) or Mrs (lastname) or Miss (first name). Before you call your in-laws mom and dad or  by their first names, make sure they are okay with it!
  • mswood1977mswood1977 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I use to call my IL's Mr. Lastname Mrs. Lastname, but my husband asked them one day shortly after we where married what I should call them and they said by their first name since we are all adults, so that is what I call them now but it still feels a little strange to use their first names.  I am just really glad they didn't suggest mom and dad.

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