A couple of Jehova's witnesses came to the apartment a few weeks ago, and started off by saying, "Do you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people?"
BF says, without skipping a beat - "Because God has a sick sense of humor?"**
Enter shocked faces.
Needless to say they thought they had encountered someone who REALLY needed their help. He told them to come back another Saturday, because he knew he would be at work and not have to deal with it. They just knocked on the door, scaring the crap out of me and the dog (no one ever knocks on our door unexpectedly), and I spent the last 10 minutes hiding out in the bedroom until they left. AFTER I tripped over the spastic dog and faceplanted on the bedroom floor. They had to have heard that.
I wish I could act like a 26 year old and say that it was NOT because I feel awkward deflecting situations like that, or because I am embarassed that I still have scary morning face, but that would be lying to all of you.
**I'd like to point out that BF does not believe this, he just strongly dislikes people coming to his doorstep to try to talk him into anything, so he gets snarky.
ETA: Now that I can commence my chores and errands without fear of having to speak to strangers, I need suggestions. We are supposed to get 6-10 inches of snow tonight - boo - and I want to make some kind of amazing, cozy dinner. I will be snowed in and have forever to make it, so the more intensive and complicated the better.