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Who plans what?

swimmy1988swimmy1988 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in Moms and Maids
I bought a wedding planning kit about two months ago. It's incredibly useful, but some parts left me confused. 

The book says that it is the MOH's and BM's responsibility to plan and pay for the bachelorette party. 
Is this true? 

I've been reading other threads where members say that the only responsibility of the BM's and MOH is to buy the dress and show up.

Just want some clarity here. In all honestly I'd rather plan my own bachelorette party, since I have a few ideas of my own, that don't require getting smashed beyond comprehension. 

What's the norm here? 
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Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

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Re: Who plans what?

  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    It is not appropriate for you to throw a bachelorette party or shower for yourself. Showers especially are gift giving occasions, so it would reflect very poorly on you if you threw a party where everyone was supposed to give you a gift. Basically, whoever offers to throw you a shower or bachelorette party is the one who throws it. Commonly this is your MOH or BM, but not always. If no one offers you a shower or bachelorette party, you don't get one.
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  • libby2483libby2483 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Also, to add to my last post, if someone does offer to throw you one, I think it is perfectly okay to give input on what you would like.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Ok, just throw that planner out right now.  It sounds like that thing is going to tell you to do things completely wrong and expect certain things from your WP that are not required.

    1)  Anyone can throw you a bridal shower or bach party.  No one in your WP is required to contribute, plan or even show up to these pre-wedding parties

    2)  You NEVER throw yourself a party.  That includes your bridal shower or bach party.  If someone or a group of people want to throw you one then they will do so voluntarily.  But if no one offers then you just don't get those parties.

    And you can certainly talk to whoever has volunteered to throw you your bach party that you prefer not to have an all out drinkfest.  That person should take your feelings and likes and dislikes into account when planning a party for you.

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  • swimmy1988swimmy1988 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_who-plans-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:c2f09354-1f41-4dc7-933e-5cd4f0a784c3Post:9289363a-8a64-4f93-94f1-f44002e52485">Re: Who plans what?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, just throw that planner out right now.  It sounds like that thing is going to tell you to do things completely wrong and expect certain things from your WP that are not required. 1)  Anyone can throw you a bridal shower or bach party.  No one in your WP is required to contribute, plan or even show up to these pre-wedding parties 2)  You NEVER throw yourself a party.  That includes your bridal shower or bach party.  If someone or a group of people want to throw you one then they will do so voluntarily.  But if no one offers then you just don't get those parties. And you can certainly talk to whoever has volunteered to throw you your bach party that you prefer not to have an all out drinkfest.  That person should take your feelings and likes and dislikes into account when planning a party for you.
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Makes sense! </div><div>Although won't be throwing the planner out, it has my detailed budget in it. </div>
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    Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_who-plans-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:c2f09354-1f41-4dc7-933e-5cd4f0a784c3Post:a245e9b0-a0ba-4f9e-8ca3-2bed8a1e25e1">Re: Who plans what?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who plans what? : Makes sense!  Although won't be throwing the planner out, it has my detailed budget in it. 
    Posted by swimmy1988[/QUOTE]

    Put the budget on an Excel spreadsheet.  Burn the planner.  You do not want bad advice within arm's reach - it is too tempting to look at.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_who-plans-what?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:c2f09354-1f41-4dc7-933e-5cd4f0a784c3Post:a245e9b0-a0ba-4f9e-8ca3-2bed8a1e25e1">Re: Who plans what?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who plans what? : Makes sense!  Although won't be throwing the planner out, it has my detailed budget in it. 
    Posted by swimmy1988[/QUOTE]

    Easy solution...rip the budget out and throw the rest of it away!

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  • swimmy1988swimmy1988 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Very good advice. Thanks ladies! 

    I don't think I'd ever throw myself a shower. It's mostly just the bachelorette party I was thinking of. If one of my BP volunteer to throw it, I'll share my ideas with them just to make sure its not a complete drunk fest. 
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    Married as of June 22, 2013!!!

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  • LincolnmagooLincolnmagoo member
    First Comment
    Even this site can be crazy and full of random, way too detailed suggestions. Get advice from friends & family who have gotten married and draw from your own experiences as someone who was in a wedding or attended one. You know your friends and family better than some planner.. I'm sure you have an instinct as to how it'll all play out!!! Good luck.
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  • Cuss10Cuss10 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Personally I think that it really depends what type of Bachelorette party you were planning on hosting for yourself. If it just you and your closest friends having pizza at your house watching chick flicks, doing your nails, and playing cheesey board games I see nothing wrong  with hosting that. If you wanted to do a trip, a dinner out, or anything else that would require people to spend money you shouldn't have anything to do with the hosting of the party.
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