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Going to 2 showers for same girl....

KplusE2012KplusE2012
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in Registry and Gift Forum
Hello! Just wondering what the proper etiquette is for attending two showers for the same bride, as far as gifts go. Do I spend less on each and give a gift at both or buy one gift and bring it to one of the showers only? I don't know what's right to do! Also what is a good price limit? She is a good friend and is in my wedding. Thank you!!
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Re: Going to 2 showers for same girl....

  • aimers1525aimers1525 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Do you know other people going to both showers? My BM's were invited to both of my showers (well they gave one and were invited to the one my MIL gave) and they just bought me two gifts together. I would say they probably spent $30-$40 each on both gifts.

    Otherwise, I would bring two gifts and spend what you feel comfortable spending. My mom came to both my showers and I think spent $20-$30 on each gift.
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  • rlavachrlavach member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    How much to spend is really up to you. No one here knows what your budget is & what is commonly given in your area. I've never been to 2 showers for 1 person. If you really feel obliged to go to both, then I'd split the amount and give two gifts. 

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  • hoffsehoffse member
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    If you're going to both you should probably bring something to both - just go with what you feel comfortable spending.
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  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
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    You should bring a gift to both showers. You should spend, total, as you're comfortable. I would look at her registry and decide what you want to get, within your total budget. If what most attracts you is close to your total budget, get that for 1 shower and something small for the other. If what attracts you is 2 things of about equal expense, so much the better. Or maybe you get her 2 place settings of her china, and bring one to each shower.

    If the bride is mature and polite she'll understand the dynamics and be just as happy with the small gift as the big one, or with a repeat gift as the first time. Safest is probably to give the more expensive gift at the first shower, but also consider whether your gift will blend-in with the other gifts. If the first shower is for student-poor friends of the bride, and the gifts will be small, give your small gift then, and save your bigger one for the well-established friends-of-the-mothers shower, for example. But it's not a big deal either way.
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  • supertoaster82supertoaster82
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    I'm getting two showers (one has already happened, the other is taking place in January). It will mostly be different people at the second one, but for the handful that are gettting invited to both, I'm really not expecting them to bring gifts to the second one (not that I'm EXPECTING gifts period, but I think you catch my drift). But I agree with the other posters, that if you can find two things from her registry that would fit your total budget, go that route!
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  • AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
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    I'd just bring a gift to the first one.  I'm sure that she would totally understand that you aren't going to buy her 2 shower gifts (unless you find her two smaller gifts that you'd like to buy her).  Honestly, if they are anything like the other showers I've been to, the only person who is going to know that you didn't bring her a 2nd gift is yourself.
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  • rlavachrlavach member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_going-2-showers-same-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:c5b1789d-6920-485e-81cd-2f8756c9ec09Post:eac85b97-1359-4771-82a6-2e20e4c93c5b">Re: Going to 2 showers for same girl....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'd just bring a gift to the first one.  I'm sure that she would totally understand that you aren't going to buy her 2 shower gifts (unless you find her two smaller gifts that you'd like to buy her).  Honestly, if they are anything like the other showers I've been to, <strong>the only person who is going to know that you didn't bring her a 2nd gift is yourself.</strong>
    Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]
    That's usually true, but not always. In my circle, we don't announce the name of the person(s) that gave the gift. The only one who knows is the bride (and whoever is helping her write it all down). I have, though, been to showers where the names are announced for every gift, so people do know who gave what. I certainly hope that's not how it's done elsewhere. That is just so awkward & embarassing.

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  • staceycainestaceycaine member
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    Are you in the wedding party? If not, I wouldn't go. I think it's kind of gift-grabby for her to invite you twice unless you are VERY close, a sister, or in the wedding party.

    I wouldn't take two presents if I did go. The only time I did that, I was in the wedding.
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  • KplusE2012KplusE2012
    First Comment
    Thank you everyone! I am not in the party because she is having family-only. She is in my party, and we are very close. I will attend both showers, and have decided to bring a gift to each, but they will add up to the price I was going to spend. Thanks!
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  • futuremrsgatesfuturemrsgates
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    We may be a-typical, but in my family, you only have to give TWO gifts - at least one at a shower, and one at the wedding. I went to three showers for my cousin (I was a bridesmaid and she had a friends shower, a family shower, and a lingerie bash) but it was made very clear that if I brought a gift to the first shower, I was not required to bring one to any other event. I did, but I didn't have to.

    I say do what you're comfortable with. If you'd rather get her one GREAT gift, do that, but bring it to the first shower so you don't appear rude.
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