Fighting about Honeymoon...help!

michelley1001 · February 2013

Hi ladies. I've never posted on here but I am needing some woman to woman advice. The only fights that my fiancé and I have had so far in wedding planning is about the Honeymoon. I have a normal Monday thru Friday job where I can take vacation. My fiancé has a job where he has to work Saturdays and can't take vacation like my job. I love him and I try to be calm but ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of my wedding & the honeymoon! We agree on the place, but because of his job, I've already had to sacrifice when we are going (leaving a week after wedding) and the length of it (going Sunday through Thursday instead). I know that these may seem petty and I really am trying to look at the bright side but for some reason this is a hot button for me. Any advice?? Even just knowing other women have had the same issue or went on a late/shorter honeymoon and loved it would be great. Thanks!

Wzz · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fighting-about-honeymoonhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:471e708e-fdaf-4ccc-81b1-e9d9f580e7afPost:b4b7809d-3f98-4159-a8cf-3394dd29b0c5">Fighting about Honeymoon...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi ladies. I've never posted on here but I am needing some woman to woman advice. The only fights that my fiancé and I have had so far in wedding planning is about the Honeymoon. I have a normal Monday thru Friday job where I can take vacation. My fiancé has a job where he has to work Saturdays and can't take vacation like my job. I love him and I try to be calm but ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of my wedding & the honeymoon! We agree on the place, but because of his job, I've already had to sacrifice when we are going (leaving a week after wedding) and the length of it (going Sunday through Thursday instead). I know that these may seem petty and I really am trying to look at the bright side but for some reason this is a hot button for me. Any advice?? Even just knowing other women have had the same issue or went on a late/shorter honeymoon and loved it would be great. Thanks!
Posted by michelley1001[/QUOTE]

maybe you should reconsider hiim as a life partner if his saturday work schedule is seriously a hot button issue for you. i'd love to see how you handle his saturday schedule when you get an invitation in the mail several months after the wedding and he has to work.

AddieCake · February 2013

We haven't had time to take our honeymoon yet, and we are coming up on our one year anniversary. Things don't always work out perfectly, and if he can't just take off whenever, what do you expect him to do? Is this how you want to start your marriage? Angry and resentful about a vacation?

JemmaWRX · February 2013

It is petty. And I can think of worse problems. Really, be reasonable here. It's his JOB. What's the poor guy supposed to do?

awolkenhauer · February 2013

This really is kind of sad. You think you're making all these "sacrifices", when in reality you're getting much more than a lot of people ever get. Your "sacrifices" are really nothing. A whole week isn't going to ruin the fact that you just got married. And how would your honeymoon being delayed make it unenjoyable, unless you plan to spend the whole time seething because you didn't get it sooner?

Personally, if I was your FI, I would be questioning marrying a woman who gets so angry over situations that are out of my hand; especially when you clearly know how his job works. I bet he feels horrible that he can't accomodate his future wife's exact dreams and you're making him feel worse for getting into it with him over something he has absolutely no control over.

The bright side: You're getting married to the man you love and you're still getting to go on a honeymoon.

cowoman1 · February 2013

Sure, it's not a HUGE issue, I would guess the OP knows that. Dont we all get worked up about something sometimes.... It's okay to not go on your honeymoon right away. Maybe you can come up with workable alternative. Can you stay somewhere the first night? Or plan to clear your evenings for that week, make the time together extra special, order in, play your favorite games, watch your favorite movies, enjoy lots of sexy time, etc. And since your honeymoon can't be quite as long as you had hoped, can you plan a couple day get away in the future? Maybe for your 3 month anniversary or something. It's all about compromise and adjusting your expectations. Good luck, keep in mind the big things!

kaceymarie · February 2013

lol my honeymoon is 2 months after my wedding.

anyways, it shouldn't be a biggie.. you will have future vacations. take 2 honeymoons if you want.

*Barbie* · February 2013

gee, how awful for you. i can't imagine how difficut it would be to take a vacation on a Sunday, and not even be able to stay for a full week. that is like the worst tragedy EVER.

your poor FI must have it so bad - having a job and needing to work on a Saturday. maybe he should just quit his job so you wouldn't have to worry about how this may impact your entire married life. it would obviously be much better for him to be an unemployed lump on the couch with free Saturdays, than have to schedule your lives around his job.

my parents took their "honeymoon" for their 25th anniversary. I really don't understand how they were able to stay married so long considering they didn't get to take a weeklong vacation on their own for 25 years. sure they had shorter trips, and weeklong familiy vacations - but not a WHOLE WEEK (actually, i think it ended up being 10-11 days, including at least 1 Saturday) on their own in 25 years.

6fsn · February 2013

Get a bottle of Dom and a fancy room to make the wedding night extra nice. Then get off the pity pot and realize life is pretty darn good.

tawillers · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fighting-about-honeymoonhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:471e708e-fdaf-4ccc-81b1-e9d9f580e7afPost:b4b7809d-3f98-4159-a8cf-3394dd29b0c5">Fighting about Honeymoon...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]ever since I was a little girl I've dreamed of my wedding & the honeymoon!
Posted by michelley1001[/QUOTE]

Oh, come on. Now they're throwing the honeymoon in there?

NOLABridesmaid · February 2013

Maybe I'm frugal, but I'm thinking you might find a better deal since you're leaving on a Sunday and returning on a Thursday.

Big picture, chica.

auroraborealisabc · February 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fighting-about-honeymoonhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:471e708e-fdaf-4ccc-81b1-e9d9f580e7afPost:d70a3870-95e6-4fc5-abc3-9061cba129b7">Re: Fighting about Honeymoon...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sure, it's not a HUGE issue, I would guess the OP knows that. Dont we all get worked up about something sometimes.... It's okay to not go on your honeymoon right away. Maybe you can come up with workable alternative. Can you stay somewhere the first night? Or plan to clear your evenings for that week, make the time together extra special, order in, play your favorite games, watch your favorite movies, enjoy lots of sexy time, etc. And since your honeymoon can't be quite as long as you had hoped, can you plan a couple day get away in the future? Maybe for your 3 month anniversary or something. It's all about compromise and adjusting your expectations. Good luck, keep in mind the big things!
Posted by cowoman1[/QUOTE]

This! This is what marriage is all about (I've been told, lol). Compromise! :)

daveANDkristen · March 2013

OP, if you ever come back, I was going to make a suggestion. First, to answer your question, I have really never seen the big deal about taking a delayed HM, especially if it's only a week or two. No way in hell I would have wanted to leave the day after the wedding. We got married on 09/08 and left for our HM on 09/18. I was very happy to have a little downtime in between the wedding and HM.

Anyway, Idk where you are going for your HM, or how long you were hoping to be gone. But I was going to suggest that you go on your HM the days that your schedules allow for, come home for a few days for your H to go to work, and take another few days off for either a "stay-cation" or a trip closer to home, like on South Padre Island. Just something to think about. I do agree with PPs though, that if your H has no control over his work schedule you kinda need to get over it. I know that's not what you want to here, but part of being an adult is making sometimes unpleasant sacrifices.

melissanjoe21 · March 2013

Is this for real. Your upset because you can only go on a honeymoon for 5 days.

We are only going for 4 days because my FI needs to be back at work. I am just thankful he is employed. I can't get over the selfishness of this.

LDubHawksFan · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fighting-about-honeymoonhelp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:471e708e-fdaf-4ccc-81b1-e9d9f580e7afPost:993e147c-aadd-4953-ac1d-b4dcfeadf1c7">Re: Fighting about Honeymoon...help!</a>:
[QUOTE]OP, if you ever come back, I was going to make a suggestion. First, to answer your question, I have really never seen the big deal about taking a delayed HM, especially if it's only a week or two. No way in hell I would have wanted to leave the day after the wedding. We got married on 09/08 and left for our HM on 09/18. I was very happy to have a little downtime in between the wedding and HM. Anyway, Idk where you are going for your HM, or how long you were hoping to be gone. But I was going to suggest that you go on your HM the days that your schedules allow for, come home for a few days for your H to go to work, and take another few days off for either a "stay-cation" or a trip closer to home, like on South Padre Island. Just something to think about. I do agree with PPs though, that if your H has no control over his work schedule you kinda need to get over it. I know that's not what you want to here, but part of being an adult is making sometimes unpleasant sacrifices.
Posted by daveANDkristen[/QUOTE]

This is pretty ridiculous and OP, you need to get your priorities straight. We left for our honeymoon a week later because we had friends that got married 6 days later. Honestly it was fantastic to unwind that week in between. I got 95% of our TY notes out the door before we even left.

Fighting about Honeymoon...help!

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