Speech - thanking parents, but not close with father...

I'm asking here because it seems the bride giving a speech is a little more popular with us Canadians than with our American friends...

I'm working on my speech for my wedding, and it occured to me, when I get to the part where I thank and say a few words for the parents... I really don't have much to say to my dad. I'm very close to my mother, stepfather and my fiances parents... we see and talk to both of these sets of parents at least weekly. However MY father and I only talk a couple of times a year (Christmas and if something else is going on). We've never been close, and trying to be close to him always ends up hurting more, so I've just accepted the distance and went on with things...

When it comes to the wedding speech I feel like everything I say will either sound made up, or rude... I can just picture it "Mom and stepdad, thanks for all of your love and support over the years blah-blah-blah... in-laws you're all so wonderful blah-blah-blah, Dad and step-mom, thanks for showing up."

Do I thank the other parents and not mention him? That seems even worse...

Anyone else in a simular situation?

For the record, he's not walking me down the isle, fiance and I are walking together. We're also skipping the father/daughter mother/son dances.
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Re: Speech - thanking parents, but not close with father...

  • LittlinLittlin member
    edited December 2011
    I would suggest simply saying - "to my parents - mom, stepdad, dad, stepmom, thanks for all the support, etc." and just keeping it general and not separating the two sets of parents?  It may be less awkward and only you will know who it's really directed towards.  I wouldn't NOT mention him at all.

    I'm not close to my dad either, but I mentioned my parents together in my speech, both my parents walked me up the aisle instead of just him, and for the dance we did about a minute, then my mom cut in to dance with him (and DH did the same with his mom) to make it all less awkward.

    Hope that helps?
  • miellenmiellen member
    edited December 2011
    This is tough. I had a similiar situation - my parents are divorced and I am much closer to my mom than my dad, though I am not as disconnected to my dad as you are. But as you said, I think it would be worse to not thank him at at all. Maybe you can just say some nice words about him and his wife being there on the day of the wedding, and that you guys are happy that you are all together to celebrate the day with you. Another thing you could do is to thank in a "reverse order" of importance - so instead of thanking your dad last, do it first and leave your mom to last. That way his thank you doesn't become a short thought at the end. Hope that helps a little?
  • Cynthia1207Cynthia1207 member
    edited December 2011

    I am in this EXACT SAME situation....My parents have been divorced since I was two and I've never really been close to my father because he never really took an interest in my life.  I recently had to stay in the hospital for 3 weeks (nothing major but still).  He came the day my mom called him to let him know. That was the last I saw of him.  I've been out for 2 weeks now and he still hasn't called to see how everything was doing.  He also didn't show up to my engagement party because he had laryngitis. Anyway.  I totally get where you're coming from.

    I was thinking of saying something along the lines of being politically correct and being as vague as possible:  ''Dad thank you for being here and for everything you have done for me throughout my life.''  I don't have anything more to say to him.  One sentence take it or leave it.

    PS: I'm also skipping the father/daughter dance and I actually decided to walk down the aisle with my mom and stepdad after the eng party fiasco. 

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