Not Engaged Yet

WR: Help?

I'm sure some people are sick of hearing about this from me but I'm having a hard time trying to decide how to address my invitations.

I know that "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe" is traditional but I can't help disliking  that the woman gets married and suddenly has no first name anymore.

I also know that "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe" and "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe" aren't really great choices either.

And then there's "Jane and John Doe". My wedding isn't very formal but I do like the look/sound of addressing people as Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.

I'm being ridiculous, I know.

What did you do/are you doing/would you do?



Re: WR: Help?

  • I picked Mr. and Mrs. John Doe since that's how everyone around here addresses wedding invitations. 

    Is it old fashioned?  Yes.  Is it correct etiquette?  I have no idea lol.

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    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
  • Yea, I think it's supposed to be Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe so the man isn't separated from his name.

    But let me tell you, I am NOT Mrs. Blue&White's BF.

    We're not married.  I don't respond well to people that botch my name because they don't think I'm a human since I'm female.

    I've been getting a lot of this lately, lol.  My inner feminist is crying ;)
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited January 2013

    I did Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  However, couples that had different last names or were not married I did Mrs./Miss Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe.  



    EDIT: I wanted to add that since this is something that is important to you, I would do it how you want.  As long as you get their names on there, that is really all that matters. 

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:27ae1d16-975f-496a-a69b-29dc810a65bfPost:d89f1181-7399-4d89-a133-9df1daad1758">Re: WR: Help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]For some reason I thought that a man's first name wasn't supposed to be separated from his last name. Is that incorrect?
    Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

    <div>According to Emily Post, it doesn't matter which order the names are in (like: "John and Jane Doe" or "Jane and John Doe" -- they're both correct). </div><div>
    </div><div>There is nothing about using "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe" or "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe" specifically though because they're not really proper or what you're "supposed" to do. </div>



  • I voted Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  I think that is what it is supposed to be. This is the only way I've seen it written as when husband and wife.  I don't think the other ways you are proposing to address the envelopes is incorrect either.  As the diclaimer I"m NEY :-)

    Anniversary

  • Could you do:
    Mrs. Jane Doe
    Mr. John Doe

    Anniversary

  • I voted "Mr. & Mrs. John & Jane Doe" because I like it best. :)



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  • Addressing the invitations was the most annoying thing ever. I made sure to address the Thank You cards however I referred to the people IRL, Jess & Nick, Mr. and Mrs. Porter, The  Bravermans, etc. What a relief that process was.
  • CASK85CASK85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited January 2013
    Married people are supposed to be on the same line, I think. And I've heard that thing about a man not being separated from his name. 

    That said, we did Mr. and Mrs. Johan and Jane Doe on the outer envelope and John and Jane on the inner envelope. We had a few couples who were doctors so for that I had: Drs. John and Jane Doe. 

    Edited to write what I actually meant. 
  • I vote stick with the traditional. I agree that it's annoying, but I doubt your guests will be offended by it since it's pretty standard.
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  • I like Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe, as it recognizes the woman as her own entity, but also as a part of a unit. Does that make sense?
    Whatever...when I get married you're all getting invites that say "Be there bitchez".
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:27ae1d16-975f-496a-a69b-29dc810a65bfPost:aba9c44c-6ac0-445e-8318-acfe45ef07fd">Re: WR: Help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I get married I'm addressing people by their nicknames. IE when I address Bri's invitation it is going to say "To Spicebush and Scottie-too-Hottie. Come to my wedding, biiiiiiiiiitches!" I feel like this will clear up any confusion.
    Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

    BAAAHAHAHA I 100% love everything about this.



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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:27ae1d16-975f-496a-a69b-29dc810a65bfPost:aba9c44c-6ac0-445e-8318-acfe45ef07fd">Re: WR: Help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I get married I'm addressing people by their nicknames. IE when I address Bri's invitation it is going to say "To Spicebush and Scottie-too-Hottie. Come to my wedding, biiiiiiiiiitches!" I feel like this will clear up any confusion.
    Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]

    Our minds...they are like one, right now.
    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • Yesterday BF and I recieved a belated Xmas card from his friend and his friend's wife & baby, and it was addressed to: Mr and Mrs. My first name / My last name.This is the second piece of mail he's recieved from a friend addressed this way. I think he's going to have to marry me soon just to make them stop Wink
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:27ae1d16-975f-496a-a69b-29dc810a65bfPost:aba9c44c-6ac0-445e-8318-acfe45ef07fd">Re: WR: Help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]When I get married I'm addressing people by their nicknames. IE when I address Bri's invitation it is going to say "To Spicebush and Scottie-too-Hottie. Come to my wedding, biiiiiiiiiitches!" I feel like this will clear up any confusion.
    Posted by LivLeighton[/QUOTE]


    This is awesome.
    photo bridalparty.jpg
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited January 2013
    I already told you this, but I left off the titles altogether. Lily and James Potter instead of Mr. and Mrs. Potter or any of the other variations. It simplified things, even if maybe it's not 100 etiquette friendly. It kept the tone a little more casual and I didn't run the risk of calling somebody Mr. when they should have been Dr. or something like that. I also used address labels, though, so you probably shouldn't take advice from someone as scandalous as I.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:27ae1d16-975f-496a-a69b-29dc810a65bfPost:0e947fa0-33f4-4dd3-a1b4-838a07315434">Re:WR: Help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I already told you this, but I left off the titles altogether. Lily and James Potter instead of Mr. and Mrs. Potter or any of the other variations. It simplified things, even if maybe it's not 100 etiquette friendly. It kept the tone a little more casual and I didn't run the risk of calling somebody Mr. when they should have been Dr. or something like that. <strong>I also used address labels, though, so you probably shouldn't take advice from someone as scandalous as I.
    </strong>Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I didn't know this was an etiquette no-no.  My friend did it for her wedding, and she kept the template and updates it every six months (marriages, divorces, babies, new homes, etc) and uses it all the time to send birthday invites, Christmas cards, etc.  I thought it was an excellent idea and saved a boat load of time!

    Come to think of it, all the wedding invitations I've received used address labels...hmm

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    image 59 Invited
    image 36 Yes
    image 2 No
    image 21 Unknown
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_wr-help-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:27ae1d16-975f-496a-a69b-29dc810a65bfPost:0e947fa0-33f4-4dd3-a1b4-838a07315434">Re:WR: Help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I already told you this, but I left off the titles altogether. Lily and James Potter instead of Mr. and Mrs. Potter or any of the other variations. It simplified things, even if maybe it's not 100 etiquette friendly. It kept the tone a little more casual and I didn't run the risk of calling somebody Mr. when they should have been Dr. or something like that. <strong>I also used address labels, though, so you probably shouldn't take advice from someone as scandalous as I.</strong>
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    <div>You're such a rebel.</div>



  • I think I've decided to just go ahead and use "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe". Sigh.



  • I did like Elle, though I put my envelopes through the printer.

    I get stabby when I receive things adressed to Mr. & Mrs. John Doe or even Jane & John Doe, because that's not my freaking last name!

    Because of this, I went with Jane Smith and John Doe or Jane & John Doe if they did have the same last name (which was very few people on our list).
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