How many speeches is too many & Possible hurt feelings

nomidale · October 2010

My brother is getting married (3 months after I did- hooray!) and he and his fiance have a large wedding party. They have invited the closest of them to make speeches at the rehearsal dinner. However, some of the other people in the party also asked if they could speak. If they let everyone speak it will be 13 speaches!!! (including my parents speach who are hosting). They are caught between hurting peoples feelings who asked to speak and wanting to give people the opportunity to say something nice about them and not wanting to bore the crowd to death. Thoughts?

kellyjellybelly · October 2010

13 = WAY too many. people will be bored out of their minds.

Beachy730 · October 2010

13 is a ridiculous amount. They need to limit it. I've never seen anyone speak at the RD except the B&G, and maybe the parents hosting. I would say maybe 4 at the most.

Kristin789 · October 2010

No speeches are given at a wedding. It's not a political event.

As the reception begins, FOB takes the microphone and gives a toast thanking everyone for coming and honoring the newly married couple.

Then the Best Man *can* give a toast to the couple, IF the couple CHOOSES to have this.

Sometimes the MOH gives a toast to the couple, IF the couple CHOOSES to have this.

That's all. Not 13 people. Not a speech event.

Beachy730 · October 2010

Kirstin she asked about the RD, not the wedding

kellyjellybelly · October 2010

This might be a stupid idea, but could they do something like all write them in a cute journal-like book and give it to them at the RD? Then everyone could share their thoughts, people could read through it if they wanted to, and the couple can have that as a keepsake, but people wouldn't have to sit there for 3 hours listening to people ramble?

ootmother2 · October 2010

I would say the host makes a welcoming speech, the groom toasts his bride and new family, Best Man and Maid of Honor then call it quits. 13 is waay to many

Manwaithiel · October 2010

I'd say you forgo speeches altogether at a rehearsal dinner. I've never heard of something like that. Save the talking for the wedding.

tortis · October 2010

At our RD, the only person who spoke was my dad. The dinner was at my parents' house, so it felt natural to have my dad welcome everyone. He made it pretty personal, inviting H's fam (all out of town) to our city and thanking his aunt for baking all of the (ridiculously amazing) deserts.

Dad made a more formal toast at the wedding to start dinner. Then, towards the end of diner, BM and MOH gave their toasts.

kayakrunhike · October 2010

My DH was the only one who gave a speech at the RD, thanking everyone for coming. 14 would be overkill. On the plus side, at least it isn't the reception.

Mrs.B6302007 · October 2010

THose people who are dying to speak need to write down their thoughts in nice cards.

marissa_claire · October 2010

Can you split it between the RD and wedding? Just don't let anyone toast two evenings in a row, and that should hopefully cut it down some.

squirrly · October 2010

Cards. They should write cards. At our RD, my H spoke. Done.

Calypso1977 · October 2010

while our RD was small (11 people) only my H spoke to thank everyone and then our priest said grace.

at our wedding reception, only our best man gave a toast and it sucked.

lilianne22 · October 2010

13 is way too many. I would think whoever is hosting could give a speech if they wanted to and then the bride and groom might too in order to thank people for coming. Other than that, I agree that the other guests would be better to write you a nice card instead.

filaw · October 2010

A lot of people wanted to speak at our RD too. It was a "mingely" type of affair (with 50 guests). DH's parents just ended up setting up an "open mic" and letting people figure it out for themselves. I think it was around 8 people that ended up speaking.

I don't know if people were bored, though.

Kniblet · October 2010

My step father gave a toast at the RD welcoming all of the guests. (So many OOT guests that the RD was ALL guests.) My mom and step dad hosted the thing so they said welcome and thanks for coming.

No one else gave a toast. The BM and MOH waited until the reception the next night.

13 is far, far too many. Take toothpicks to pinch open your eyes is you get drowsy.

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