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RSVPs with Save the Dates?

emilyannew11emilyannew11
First Comment
in Chit Chat
My fiance and I live relatively far away from the majority of our family and friends. The city we are choosing for the ceremony is where we live so everyone will have to travel. That throws a bit of a wrench in our planning since we are trying to figure out how many to accomodate. Would it be ok to put a RSVP in with the Save the Date? Simply because that would give us more time to worry about planning with the accurate numbers. What do you all think?

Thanks ladies!
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Re: RSVPs with Save the Dates?

  • sunnydays630sunnydays630
    First Comment
    No, don't do that. A lot of people don't know their schedule that far in advance. Budget and plan your wedding under the assumption that all who are invited will attend. 
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  • LizziebeeUTLizziebeeUT
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_rsvps-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:2d78c31c-fde5-41f7-b180-72ee54dbf670Post:5de54d5c-514c-4f88-8397-6d672784387d">Re: RSVPs with Save the Dates?</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, don't do that. A lot of people don't know their schedule that far in advance.<strong> Budget and plan your wedding under the assumption that all who are invited will attend. </strong>
    Posted by sunnydays630[/QUOTE]

    This.

    While on the surface it seems like a good idea, it could be a recipe for disaster as a lot of people that say yes may have other things come up.
    Its really hard to know what you'll be doing that far in advance.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Wouldn't that make the invitations redundant?
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Nope RSVPs are for invites only. Make a guest list and find a venue. Base your numbers off of those things.
     
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  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited January 2012
    No.  For our wedding, we were married where we live.  Family and friends came in from San Francisco, Boston and all points between.  Only two guests were local.  We sent the STDs in March, Invitations in July (10 weeks out because of how many had to make travel plans) RSVP due date was two weeks before the wedding and were married in September.

    Had we asked for RSVPs in March our count would have been off by one couple whose police force took away vacation time from the dispatchers because of a drunk driving arrest of another dispatcher, one couple because of back surgery, one couple because of a cancer diagnosis and chemo/radiation treatment and one couple because of a lupus flareup that resulted in hospitalization.
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  • JJJ625JJJ625 member
    First Comment
    A STD with an RSVP stops being an STD and becomes an invite.
    An STD is a heads up that something is happening on that date. Most people really can't determine what they'll be doing so far ahead... they won't be able to accurately say if they'll be on a business trip or whatever as they would be in the traditional invite time.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    It is rude to ask people to RSVP more than a month in advance.  
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  • scrpio421scrpio421
    First Comment
    I voted no too, but I've noticed that a number of people have emailed/called if they know for sure that can't attend. Which I'm sure people might do that for you too, but don't do the RSVP.
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  • emilyannew11emilyannew11
    First Comment
    Thank you all! I'm new to this (as you can tell! haha) so any advice is appreciated. Smile
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