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STD's, invites and RSVP

Kenneylynn3Kenneylynn3 member
Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I know there was a post about this, but it didn't fit my situation. My wedding is over a year away, but I was reading that you send STD about six months before, invites about a month and a half before, and have the rsvp date a week or so before head count is due. Well, my fiancee, who decided to be in charge of catering said that they'd want the head count at least a month before (I can't actually remember how much in advance he had said). Also, I have a lot of OOT guests and we were going to announce the engagement with STD...Seeing that I'm engaged, I was going to send out STD this summer, 10 or so months before the wedding and then send out invites 6 to 4 months before the wedding.

My questions are how long should I give between sending out invites for guest to RSVP? And when should I send them if this isn't it, and why not?
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Re: STD's, invites and RSVP

  • freebread03freebread03 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its First Answer
    If you sent out invites 4-6 MONTHS before your actual wedding, you're going to end up having to call a LOT of people--such a long time period gives plenty of opportunity for invites to get misplaced or for people to just forget to respond.  Having your RSVP deadline 6 weeks before your wedding (which I assume you would if you need a final headcount a month before) makes it very difficult for your guests to plan.  That's what a save the date is for, and THAT should go 
    out 6-8 months ahead of time.
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Are you sure your caterer doesn't need just an estimated head count at a month out?  That is ridiculously far out to need an exact head count.  Ours needed an estimated one about 2-3 weeks out once we were getting response cards in, but didn't require our official count that we were charged for until about 2 days before the wedding. 

    Double check with the caterer on the dates and deadlines.  Personally I would pick a different caterer before I asked my guests to respond 4-6 months before the wedding.
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  • Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I would double check this date with your caterer. I have never heard of a caterer needing your final head count a MONTH before the wedding. Why would that even be necessary? That's not realistic. So double check on that.

    I would definitely not send invitations out 4-6 month prior. Most people will end up forgetting about it and you'll have to call a lot of people. Plus it's very difficult to plan what you'll be doing 6 months out from a date.


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  • crnflkgirl75crnflkgirl75
    100 Comments
    Yeah, totally check on the date with your caterer. Our final head count is due three days before the event, with an estimate due one week prior. (estimate of 70-90 guests given at time of booking.) Yours seems a bit odd.
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  • raes19raes19 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited April 2012

    We needed to give our caterer an estimated head count a month before the wedding, so they could schedule staff accordingly. We didn't have to give them the exact number with meal choices until a week before the wedding. I would definitely call your caterer and see what numbers are due when, maybe your FI misunderstood what they meant. Sending out invitations 6 months before the wedding will just cause a big headache. 

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  • Kenneylynn3Kenneylynn3 member
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments
    Thank you
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